Dolphins continue to laugh at us, with pity.

It is better to die on your jetpack than to live on your knees.

Swimming with dolphins, priceless. Being a hose tethered douche no dolphin will approach in the water because you're a hose tethered douche, rightfully expensive.

weren't they previously trying to sell this invention as a high tech version of parasailing? i guess they've come to terms with the fact that everyone just slams straight into the water and started to market that as a feature.

What a disgusting machine. I thought you couldn't be any more of an asshole than a jet skier. Noisy, disturbing, and probably polluting.

Welp, I think I know what the next Darwin Award winner will do.