His cooked pizzas look like shit.

Idunno, he got a nice toast on that cheese. That's an art.

He's still working on it. As soon as he finds the end of pi he'll multiply it by the square of the radius of the pizza, but until then we'll just have to wait.

Sweet delicious bitumen.

Yep, just toss that baby on the bathroom scale.

No you weigh the pizza before and after you dorf.

That too!

The paper's better because you can wait for the water to evaporate.

If all you have is a bathroom scale, you just have to save up a few years' worth of sheets.

not on shape, but not too big...
http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=45127

poor guy can barely wear clothes. the diet doesn't surprise me.

oh yeah, this is the actual rundown:

Although I eat quite a bit, the choice of foods to me is almost nothing. Between cheese pizzas (degreased as much as possible) and, less often, Hamburger Helper (cooked without the hamburger as I hate all meats), they comprise about 95% of what I eat. 4.5% is in snack foods and just recently cereal without milk but from the box. The remaining 0.5% is for that very rare other case. This 0.5% could be bread (a biscuit is the most common case minus the butter), candy, a grilled cheese sandwich, macaroni and cheese (Hamburger Helper's version (Cheeseburger Macaroni) tastes 5 times better.), and hardly anything else. According to my parents, I would eat almost everything when I was around 4 or 5 years old. Nowadays, cheese pizzas (88%) and Hamburger Helper (7%) make up my main meals every day. I eat once a day, but when I do eat, I eat a lot. I've eaten a whole two-pound pizza before (Red Baron's 4-cheese rising crust pizza to be exact).