yah, the vid is pretty standard punchy-punchy fare but Rodney is Salinger-esque

"Future Employee-of-the-Month bravely protecting the pretzel display from possible damage? Check."

I was also fooled at first; no commentary on the video, the commentary is text only. desc. could have made this clearer, so here it is.


First, many thanks for turning me on to what must truly be the Citizen Kane of White Trash Punch-Out Videos. This footage has just about everything: Copious supply of wife-beater T-Shirts? Check. Vaguely Juggalo-esgue dude with crooked Mohawk? Check. Future Employee-of-the-Month bravely protecting the pretzel display from possible damage? Check. The sole Black guy in Billings, Montana? Check.

In fact, the only way this clip could possibly be better is if it were to include a montage, set to the music of Night Ranger, of the shirtless guy training for the "fight."

As with Akira Kurosawa's "Rashomon," I'm sure that everyone who witnessed the fight has a different perspective on what actually went down, but here's my take on the events based on both detailed forensic analysis and consuming an entire six pack of Milwaukee's Best:

Black T-shirt Guy has mistaken the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle for the Schrodinger's Cat Paradox and No T-shirt Guy is not about to let this faux pas pass without a quick witticism, least aspersions be cast upon the intellectual prowess of the denizens of Billings.

A heated yet healthy debate about the choreography of Bob Fosse then ensues right up until the 26 second mark when No T-shirt Guy, in an obvious allusion to Henry V's siege of Rouen, goes on the offensive while Black T-Shirt guy lulls his opponent into a false sense of security by stumbling, falling flat on his ass, and tiring out the other young lion by allowing him to punch his torso repeatedly: a unique strategy indeed.

"Your Dragons style is clearly no match for my Helen Keller style!"

Around the 50 second mark the Dadaist cry of "Round Two" can clearly be heard, signifying that, just like Godot, further fisticuffs are unlikely to appear.

It's also around this point that a passing mime, no doubt taking a break from an evening of walking against the imaginary wind, wanders onto the scene as several security guards earn their .25 an hour fee by standing around and pointing before leading finally leading Gray Wife-Beater Man – whom, since he as a appeared out of thin air, will no doubt be charged with Third Degree Witchcraft – away from the action or complete lack thereof. Leaving the assembled onlookers to scratch their collective heads and wonder "Did I leave the stove back at the meth lab burning?"

None of those videos was that video. I got the text.

Look for the cleverly hidden link "Tonight's fisticuffs: Tech N9ne Concert Fight Billings MT 5-21-12". (hint: It's in the second paragraph, in quotes, colored, and underlined.)