It's never too early to ruin your child's childhood.

God creates flawed beings, and then decides to persecute and exile them when they don't live up to his standards.

Hey god! If you wanted a perfect robot army, you should've made one you sick fuck!


This is why I will never be okay with religion being practiced. Spirituality is fine and dandy, but this kind of ass-backwards explanation for the universe needs to become taboo.

So would he have caught her in a legal loophole if he'd said the toy was not magical?

wow that is a shitty snack

also it's a good thing she protected her son from fun or he would've ended up like that kid from Warlock

Why does she say Satan like an elderly Puerto Rican lady?

"Say-an"

If this is the talk about a "magical" toy, I can't wait for the talk about masturbation. Then again, it would probably be the same speech.

"Do you want to play with something Jehovah hates? Do you want to make him sad?"

Fuuuuuck.
So...what is "magic" exactly? If he had said something like "he moves things with telekinesis" would that be okay?
What about just "he does things no one can sufficiently explain with current scientific methods and technologies." Is that cool?

Assuming this isn't a parody, the graphics are a lot more sophisticated than what I thought fundamentalists were capable of.

I call bullshit - no kid his age would ever give his friend a toy, he would punch his friend in the face to keep it himself, the greedy imp.

Yes, Caleb. You're on the righteous path to becoming the weird religious kid nobody invites to birthday parties. Have fun riding bikes with your mom, dipshit.

The Bible contradicts the Bible.

Thank you, Christianity, for showing me what it would be like to remember childhood emotional abuse through a rosy, soft focus lens.

Pixar presents Indoctrination

Bear in mind that Jehovah's Witnesses are weird but potentially the least dangerous of all fundie cults, since (officially, at least) they oppose membership in political parties.

Haha dumb bitch put the toy in the recycling, that's not where wizards go!

Oh look, it's gone.

Working link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jGJxSky1fo

It must be scary as hell to grow up with parents like this.

The mom is so fucking creepy. She uses such calm, even tones to horrify her child into obedience.

Sometimes I really do feel bad for the Jesus people. Most of their childhoods must have been horrific.

Surely these "bicycles" of which you speak are just another form of Satan-approved MAGIC

You know, I'm compelled to return here and ask this question of everyone:

Couldn't the wizard just be using powers god gave him? Weren't Moses and Jesus basically wizards? They move oceans, raise the dead, transmutation of water, remove demons from people....

But it's okay because god is involved? Why can't Merlin be an English prophet that is helping his people with God's granted powers?


Or is that too much thinking for religious people?

I bet these people fucking love Narnia, though.

What's wrong with magic? Friendship is magic.

About halfway to Iranian jihad cartoons.

"If you don't Jehovah to be sad, you have to take this bomb and blow up the Planned Satan Clinic."

You manipulative cunt and your punchable face.

When they say sad, they really mean mad.

what a bitch of a mother. also, Jehovah doesn't really get sad in the bible. Jehovah gets angry and then he gets even.

And why the fuck call him Jehovah instead of God in the first place? Especially using a weird Minnesota accent on this one word. Thanks also to whoever pointed out her ghetto-Latino pronunciation of Satan

You know lady, you seem to have too much respect for a guy that spends more time hating his followers than loving them.

THE SKY WIZARD TOLERATES NO PURPLE SIMULACRUMS

What a passive-aggressive bitch. The sexy Latino father from the first part can do better.

I always get a kick when EXTREME atheists dismiss belief in god as that "magic man" in the skies, but this is EXACTLY WHAT CHRISTIANS BELIEVE. They fucking BELIEVE in magic; that its real, has some effect, and that its evil.