It's been a long, grueling road, but if Dave Marcell plays his cards right, with a little help from above, he may live the dream left only to the most suicidally bold and uncompromising amongst us: getting your dick sucked by a shark.

There are few things as satisfying as watching stupidity reap its consequences. I have a feeling we'll be seeing more of this man here.

Is that you, MilkShark?

So many things.

Elbow reef is an over rated tourist trap, not that this clip does anything to convince otherwise. Actually, Key Largo in general is shit. Sink a poorly done statue of Jesus and people will flock.

Nurse sharks are the tastiest of sharks, their diet is mostly shellfish which makes for yumm.

"the 300lb nurse shark" bull and shit. Perhaps 300lb is their utmost max weigh, but none of the fish shown in the clip top 70lb.

Bonus Jewfish at 2:28.

bonus jewfish should be a tag

Fucking dolt.

Nurse shark teeth are designed primarily for crunching up crabs & such. They're like thick pads of extreme velcro. He got off easy with a crushing injury and lots of little tiny holes.

Had this dipshit been bitten by a specimen equipped with what most people consider "regular" shark teeth, he wouldn't have lips anymore. Those fuckers would have been sliced right off.

Dumb ass.

Sound effects guy must've had fun editing in that groan.

if you need someone to tell you that kissing a shark is a bad idea then you deserve to be bitten by a shark

Sharks don't like Dave kissing them on the mouth

Idjit.