My favorite Yelp bar review:

"1st problem: Ugly girls. You would think an upscale bar like this would have hot chicks, well you're wrong. Overweight girls, no makeup on, butter faces, you name it. On the plus side, I've had a couple one night stands from this place. On the downside, they were both really ugly and I could barely even perform.
2nd problem: Bathroom policy. The freaking bathroom is outside the bar and then it's hard to get back into the bar afterwords. They gave me a bathroom card, but I lost it while making out with one of the ugly chicks described above. The doorman remembered me, but he wouldn't let me in without the bathroom card. Shouldn't he have been happy that I was helping to remove some of the ugly chicks from the bar? DOUCHE BAG. Even if you do get back into the bar, the bathroom is still a long walk, especially if you're on the outside patio. I had to squeeze through a bunch of fat chicks and sweaty dudes just to get back to the inside bar room, where I had to squeeze through more fat chicks and sweaty dudes just to get out to the lobby, where I had to squeeze through more fat chicks and sweaty dudes waiting in line before I finally made it to the bathroom. It's so freaking crowded I was worried I'd get STD's just by having to touch so many people.
3. The manager is this ULTRA DOUCHE BAG who has a short man/bald man complex. Dude is verbally abusive to guys in the bar for no reason at all. And his bouncer puppets follow suit.

All together I would stay away from this bar. Too crowded, too many ugly people, too many douche bag employees, and too much effort just to make it to and from the bathroom."