Next Gene Shalit reviews Citizen Kane

"A good comedy should slay you, not sleigh you, which is exactly what is done here. The laughs are few and far between, and sometimes it just outright forgets its a slapstick comedy."

Gene, I know he saw the same movie I did but his review makes it somehow feel like he didn't. How'd he do that?

I gotsta agree with the hirsute fellow.

Francis Ford Coppola's new crime drama, The Godfather, was supposed to deliver on style and substance, but comes up short on just about everything except for its agonizing length. Marlon Brando's character falls flat, failing to draw the viewer into the storyline and muttering his lines out incoherently. Do I-talians really speak this way? Geeze Louise!

Somewhere I have a VHS tape of Gene Shalit being interviewed about the history of doorstops. When I find it I'll make sure it gets on Youtube if it isn't there already.

SHAKE THE CRIME STICK!

He was paid for that review.

Dear non-experts,

The Shining is not made out of things that it is made out of.

You're welcome,
Gene Shalit

gaming in the clinton years? movie edition?

"I was expecting hedge monsters, damn it! WHERE WERE MY HEDGE MONSTERS?"

Kind of apt if you ask me. Kubrick didn't make movies as much as he made zero-player video games.