It's the new version of "I'm driving a car right now! ...not pretending to on a studio backlot".

Puppetry:
http://youtu.be/OiUmePq2els

Some kind of awesome science. Chemistry is cool. So is astrophysics (or even regular physics), if you were good at maths. Or paleobotany like you always secretly wanted, but couldn't afford the schooling. so now instead you're making awful cartoonies for toys and awful voices for other toys and working out of the house means i never get any social interaction and don't meet nice people and will die alone, chocking on a frozen dinner over the sink.

Sorry, what?

Something that forbids Internet access.

If you want to 'get into game development' all you have to do nowadays is make a game. You don't need to be a piece in an intricate assfuck clockwork arrangemnt. If you meant you just hate the very process of making a game, yeah, be a puppeteer or a tiger or a princess.

I still make games. It's different when it's a job, though. I cannot fucking handle debugging when there's any kind of pressure.

I'd suggest accounting. There's tons of work, it pays decent, and the software does 90% of the work for you when you're on the actual job.

If you don't mind programming, but want something more important to do with it, I suggest astronomy. Astronomy constantly needs software written and it's the only thing going on on earth that I would remotely call "not absolute worthless human soul wasting dogshit" when attached to the "career."

You will be hated by 80% of mankind for not furthering human stupidity though, so be ready for that.

Major in home economics.

How does the whole royalty thing work? None of the princes are attractive to me, can I gay marry a princess and become a princess?

You'd either have to marry a prince, or do something so freaking fantastic that a monarch actually bestows the title upon you. As for the hot chick-on-princess action, I don't think you'd get the title. When a non-noble man marries a princess he doesn't become a prince, he stays one of the unwashed masses. So I'd assume it'd work the same as if you were a man.

Actually I could totally see myself in some sort of poly arrangement with Princess Máxima and her husband Willem-Alexander Prince of Orange. I like the Netherlands and would like to live there.

The best way to get prince Willem-Alexander to marry you is to be an investment banker in New York. I could do that.

Normally I'd say that's a stupid idea with 0% chance of success, but then again I bought 10 powerball tickets last night.

Do it, Doug.

Thank you, that was hilarious.

oh good can this be Video Game School Commercials week?

I read that about a year ago and I still lose it sometimes randomly thinking about that graph-paper-electrocuting gorilla.

He's right about that guy in the Westwood commercial, the first time I saw it, when he said "and my mom said I would never get ANYWHERE with these games" I'm surprised he didn't follow with "...that FUCKING CUNT"