https://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=%28forty+rods+in+miles%29+%2 F+%281+hogshead+in+gallons%29

1 furlong per 64512 drams, in case anyone is curious.

I'm turning thirty next month, and that's the most depressing thing I've heard in ages.

At least she still knows what a "Grandpa Simpson Story" is. As long as that's still current and relevant, I'm happy.

Some people say you know what it means to be old when someone first calls you "sir".

I say it's the first time someone younger than you doesn't recognize a pop culture reference or piece of technology from your generation.

I say it's whenever you make your first anecdotal distinction as to what an old person is.

OH SHI-

i was at a party and this guy had a saxophone and i asked him to play the theme from night court and all i got were blank stares

@FABIO, if that's the case, then I was an old man when I was 18 and teaching drawing and painting at a summer camp: Those kids understood very few of my Ninja Turtle and GI Joe references.

STABFACE- no, you weren't old. Those kids were just poor, deprived idiots.

You won't really feel old until you LITERALLY feel old.

The first time to feel like you have to fight rigor mortis just to reach over and hit the snooze button on the fucking alarm clock, come and talk to me.

I know people who weren't even born when the Gulf War started.

;_;

It's not as bad when it's little kids. It's bad when it's teenagers and SO MUCH WORSE when it's people in their 20s.

Binro, you're describing pretty much everyone over 14.

The powdered wig was invented to make gentlemen appear older and therefore wiser.

The toga was originally adopted as a reward for being out of fighting age and not needing to wear armor anymore.

The Senate, the ultimate legislative authority in the Roman empire and the upper house of good council in the American empire, is derived from the Latin word for "old men".

Teaching Kabala was forbidden to those under the age of 40.

All pharoahs of ancient Egypt had to wear beards to be eligible to rule, and young ones like King Tut had to wear fake ones.

It wasn't until the age of the moving picture that youth was considered preferable to age in any situation except for sexuality.

stars for you, cognitivedissonance

Mario started from a video game that didn't have his name in the title.

Soldiery and athleticism?

I know.