Cooking with Poetv: Velveeta Cheese Fudge

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Comment count is 18

Mancakes

- 2012-12-20

I don't do the food snob/classist thing generally. I think American cheese is alright sometimes. Maybe on an overseasoned burger or something, sure. Hell, the plastic wrapped singles are pretty tasty all by themselves.

But Velveeta is godfuckingforsaken processed watery slop unfit for consumption by humans.

Old_Zircon

- 2012-12-20

Agreed. Velveeta is worse than Bacon Jalapeno Squeeze Cheese.

baleen

- 2012-12-20

Velveeta was a brilliant solution for those who lived in the 1920's, before the spread of refrigeration. If you lived in a swampy climate or in the middle of the desert, it was the only chance you had of tasting something resembling cheese unless you made it yourself. It describes its penetration into the food culture of these kinds of people.

Velveeta isn't that much grosser than the Chorleywood Bread Process, which pretty much everyone indulges in whenever they eat a sandwich.

Old_Zircon - 2012-12-20

Bacon Jalapeno Squeeze Cheese is delicious.

cognitivedissonance

- 2012-12-20

I've had this fudge. I'm the sort of guy who will do anything once.

Jet Bin Fever

- 2012-12-20

diabetes.

EvilHomer

- 2012-12-20

Oh god, the way it clings to the knife every time she tries to cut it.

FUN FACT: Velveeta can not be legally marketed and sold as "a cheese". It is instead a form of "cheese food" (vaguely cheeselike material that the FDA will not classify as cheese); specifically, a "pasteurized processed cheese spread".

Discover Magazine had an interesting article on the stuff last year:

discovermagazine.com/201 1/sep/16-the-secret-of-velveeta-how-cheese-food-is-made#.UNN1-ENyf xc

Hooker

- 2012-12-20

Why would you put cheese in something if you didn't want it to taste like cheese? Isn't the whole point of putting cheese in/on something to basically mask over the taste of whatever you find gross (broccoli, asperagus, bread, potato, etc.)?

OxygenThief - 2012-12-20

Everything in this video looks and sounds like a used diaper left out in a rainstorm.

Sudan no1

- 2012-12-21

I think that's also the title of the song they used.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2012-12-25

The music is dystopian in its quiet lulling...do not be fooled by it. There is danger here.

duck&cover

- 2012-12-20

Take a pan to work and save a pan for yourself.

TheOtherCapnS

- 2012-12-20

What the fucking fuck. Food that is really bad for you is supposed to sound really tasty. This sounds vomitous. This is a fucking abomination.

I can't bring myself to watch the whole thing, but I love in the beginning how she couldn't even be bothered to use a new block of cheese food for her cooking show and pulls out that shoddy looking used package. It's like a homeless person doing a cooking show and they brought everything with them in a couple of used plastic grocery bags.

TheOtherCapnS - 2012-12-20

Also, I am shocked that this recipe doesn't include Mountain Dew Code Red as an ingredient.

boner

- 2012-12-20

Take it to church, to prove that God isn't real.

Binro the Heretic

- 2012-12-20

"Velvetta"

A typo right off the bat is a sure sign of quality.

Also, not having enough bowls ready? Did she not realize she was going to be doing a cooking demonstration?

Pope Caius

- 2012-12-21

I read the tag as "cooking with pee". I figure not even pee could possibly make this recipe worse.

Rodents of Unusual Size

- 2012-12-25

You are what you eat. Artificial blocks of horror.

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