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Comment count is 19
SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-02-18

Shes got Osmond teeth.


John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-02-18

Read about them in girlfriendwithbigteeth.edu


John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-02-18

"Hi guys, just thought I'd record a message for the web while taking my bath. I'm really into multitasking."



I'm guessing that Dan holds the camera a lot. I've just added a new item to my list of things I would not be willing to do in order to have a girlfriend.


Jet Bin Fever - 2013-02-18

Well great. Now youtube is going to give me all kinds of wonderful relateds.


Father Avalanche - 2013-02-19

I didn't think they could get any stranger/worse, but youtube has already decided it isn't gonna hold back on the animated micropenis slideshows.


Maru - 2013-02-18

in before blue. i can't believe it.


Blue - 2013-02-19

I was busy. I'm sorry!


dairyqueenlatifah - 2013-02-18

So how much do you suppose Penisadvantage.com paid her to record this 21 second video?


John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-02-18

I dunno, but one way or another, I'm pretty sure this is more about money than about penis.


THA SUGAH RAIN - 2013-02-18

Wouldn't.


kamlem - 2013-02-18

Are.


John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-02-18

I'd be too afraid to hurt her. She wouldn't able to handle my averageness.


Blue - 2013-02-19

This is a dumb fucking scam. There is nothing you can do to grow your penis. You can cause permanent damage to your penis, but none of these goddamn scams is going to make it bigger.

I didn't need to try everything to find out this was a scam for two reasons, and the second reason is because it is obvious that no such treatment exists. Ever see that episode of Intervention where the guy had a two foot penis but he kept taking enlargement pills anyway? Yeah, me neither. The moment this is actually invented there will be guys that will take it too far. There is only one thing that can actually help. Lose weight. No magic pill for that yet, either.

If you are dating someone and they have a small penis you should do what everyone having sex should do all the time, which is explore each other's bodies and figure out how to pleasure each other. If you are putting your penis in a woman's vagina and then moving it in and out and hoping that will make her orgasm then your problem is that you don't know how to have sex. Only about 30% of women are even capable of reaching orgasm that way.

Don't get me wrong, size does matter. There are different things you can do with a penis and the ideal sizes varies based on your partner's anatomy and the activity. Dicks can be too small, but they can also be too big. Too small is usually better than too big.

I prefer smaller ones, because it makes rough sex easier. Whatever, it doesn't matter that much. If you really like someone you can probably figure out something to do with them. If you really need a bigger dick, I recommend getting really secure in your masculinity and getting a RodeOH.

Seriously, those things are fucking awesome.

Also these advertisements that look like other things really need to fuck off.


kingarthur - 2013-02-19

I second this. You'd be amazed what losing weight, regular exercise and proper nutrition can do for your sex life.


Lef - 2013-02-19

I helped vote this out of the hopper and instantly felt stupid for approving a marketing campaign. But still.. small penis.


John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-02-19

Well, I certainly didn't submit this to help you guys with your small penis needs, any more than I submitted THIS for help with your penis needs

http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=112278

I thought the url was hilarious. What I wonder is if there is really a boyfriend with a small penis, who is actually going along with this.

For all I know, this is site that sells RodeOHs. If there is such a thing as penis enlargement, except through through surgery, I don't see how. It's not a muscle, so it can't be developed through exercise.

Don't let the name fool you. I used to think guys who had internet usernames about how they have big dicks (pretty common on irc) were the ultimate idiots and then I sort of adopted one, without really thinking it through. The name "John Holmes Motherfucker", which i have sometimes regretted, is meant to be an absurd Tarentino reference (first scene in Reservoir Dogs, the Madonna monologue). It's meant to be thought of as a name, like Eleanor Holmes Norton. That's where the joke is. My dick is pretty average. I've been told by several that my penis is large, by and by one woman that it's small. Ironically, she's the one I miss sometimes.

I'm bisexual, and I know first hand that there are truly some wee ones out there. If you've got an average dick , and you're insecure about that, you need to get over it, but for those tiny dancers out there, I can really sympathize with the anxiety that would bring to new relationships, over, you know, the big reveal. That might make me desperate enough to consider surgery, or maybe whatever it is that Ron Jeremy's been selling for the past few years.


Blue - 2013-02-19

You may not have intended that submission to be used for penis needs, but I guarantee you that someone put that in their spank bank.

There is no boyfriend, the girl is a paid actress and this is one of those really dishonest marketing campaigns selling an exercise program called Penis Advantage. This kind of shit is everywhere. A lot of articles are straight up advertisements commissioned usually by whomever is quoted in paragraph 3 or 4. That shit about how pubic lice is going extinct? It's a fucking ad. Someone pays a PR firm to write an article and put it out on the AP wire. Then every motherfucking journalist that feels like taking the rest of the afternoon off just affixes their byline to the article either exactly as written or paraphrased.

The people at RodeOH would be horrified by that suggestion. It's a woman owned company. Women treat the sex toy industry like a legitimate fucking business. They are from the sex positive wave of feminism. If you use sex toys, by the way, it's really fucking important to know about this stuff, because the majority of sex toy companies in the US consider their operations grey criminal enterprises. They don't sell products, they scam you into buying products. They make shitty products, and often give the same item different packaging and a different product name so that they can trick dissatisfied customers into buying two of the same item. Their products are often dangerous and carcinogenic and aren't illegal only because we don't regulate sex toys at all in the USA. Even so, most sex toys are labeled as "novelties" and the companies that make them are not liable for anything that happens should you put that toy in intimate places.

Ladies don't do that shit. Their dildos are for putting into vaginas and anuses. They are not labeled as "novelties". Advertising like this would only hurt their brand names.

By the way, the RodeOH is basically a pair of very stylish underwear that can hold a dildo. It's easy to use in a way that other harnesses with their multiple straps aren't. I'd also like to point out that it's a well received, well loved item that doesn't really work well with dildos over 6 inches, so there's plenty of love for the less than 6 inch tools, at least in the lesbian community.

Actually, it seems like the insecurity is coming from the average dicked people. Those of us with penises that are actually small usually come to terms with it on some level. If you're small enough that you can't just default to vaginal sex, then you usually find having mutually satisfying sex much easier.

Man, I have no idea why anyone would get that surgery. There's no tiny dick that's gonna not be tiny with less than an inch added to it. And now your dick isn't anchored anymore. As a girl I don't have the weird anxieties about not being man enough, but fuck, why trade good sex for less good sex just to add less than an inch? I may have sacrificed some sexual function for beauty, but that beauty actually made some difference. Maybe they're doing it to get over the 2.8 inch length that separates the people with micro-penises from the people with regular penises. Seems like a bad trade to me.


Maru - 2013-02-21

Of course, you don't have anxieties about being man enough because you're pretending to be a girl now.


Blue - 2013-02-21

You got me. I really hate opening doors.


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