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Comment count is 33
Father Avalanche - 2013-03-09

I've really got to quit clicking on this shit. My cynicism and general disdain for everyone continues to grow unabated. I think I should try and only click on sloth and Maru videos for a while, see if I can tell a marked difference in my rage levels.


jangbones - 2013-03-09

it really is futile...the world is such a terrible place, I am beginning to believe the only fully evolved human thinkers are spree shooters


memedumpster - 2013-03-09

Tricorder scans show you to be running at 0.3 memedumpsters. At 0.7 or so, your internal organs will adopt chronic conditions that trigger with stress, and at 0.9 you will have to strap weights to your arms to keep the gun out of your mouth.


dairyqueenlatifah - 2013-03-09

Millions of people watch this network everyday and take it as the gospel.


Rodents of Unusual Size - 2013-03-09

If it's any consolation, their ratings are dropping fast. The average age of a FOX News viewer is much higher than other stations. O'Reilly and Hannity are both down in ratings by at least 25% because their viewers are literally dying out.


SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-03-09

But the damage has been done. They wanted to make all media be viewed with suspicion, and they succeeded, even when it's shown that if you watch Fox, you're about as well-informed as someone who gets their news from the Onion.

It's part of the conspiracy-think that claims skepticism is when you question everything and then discard all of the annoying facts that don't agree with your pre-set thesis.


sjohnson301 - 2013-03-09

^^ To that point though, it IS still the 'most watched' cable news network by far. And viewers of FOX will happily point that out to you anytime you have a debate. The reasoning, of course, for that is that FOX viewers DO NOT TURN THE CHANNEL. Ever. Most folks who really care about a 'balanced' view flip around for their sources, getting some from cnn, msnbc, al jazeera, etc. The ratings are so high at FOX based on the fact that their viewers stay glued to this station and never look for any outside information. It's total indoctrination. And it works!


memedumpster - 2013-03-09

Half of all shooting deaths are suicides, so I imagine not just republiteafascistbaggerists watch the network.


cognitivedissonance - 2013-03-09

I once walked into a restaurant where Fox News was on the TVs. I calmly and politely just walked up and turned them off.

The manager told me to leave.


Tstyle - 2013-03-09

Next up, Nat Turner.


Binro the Heretic - 2013-03-09

"Tell us, Mr. Jefferson, because we're dying to know: What's it like to rape a slave?"


Rodents of Unusual Size - 2013-03-09

"I for one, am very excited about your atheistic principles...would you care to share them with us today?"


cognitivedissonance - 2013-03-09

"YOU LET TEXAS IN?!!! I specifically TOLD YOU that would be a mistake."


TeenerTot - 2013-03-09

Fart fart fart fart...fart.
Fart?
Fart! Fart fart fart.


EvilHomer - 2013-03-09

I bet he'd be in favor of billion dollar corporate bailouts and state-enforced religious morality laws, too!

It's not quite as stupid as that Hippie Dictionary that claimed the Founding Fathers were communists, but Fox and Friends are getting close.


kingarthur - 2013-03-10

It is that stupid.


The God of Biscuits - 2013-03-09

Biblical Worldview "University"


The Mothership - 2013-03-09

Yes, 5 stars for this.


RocketBlender - 2013-03-09

A while a go on here, I started the 'Fox or Onion game'. The idea was simple; Title the video something like: "Fox or Onion Game: Interview With Thomas Jefferson". And you guys got to guess which is was before clicking. It was rather fun.

http://poetv.com/tags.php?k-Fox%20or%20Onion%20game-74517.html

I need to start looking over videos again and bring that back. This would have been perfect for that game.


badideasinaction - 2013-03-09

The Daily Show needs a response video where they interview Ronald Reagan. The best part is they could use his actual speech clips to shoot down tea party insanity for it.


SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-03-10

Except they're so bloody ignorant they'd think the quotes were all made up. Let's not forget that many of the FUCKING REPUBLICAN ELECTED REPRESENTATIVES IN WASHINGTON thought it was bullshit that taxes are lower under Obama than Reagan.

I, for one, would have gotten the douchebags to sign a bill that called for a return to taxes at the same levels during Reagan's term. It wouldn't be near enough to redress the way the rich have bled the nation, but it'd be a start.


Mother_Puncher - 2013-03-09

Like being in fucking middle school again


StanleyPain - 2013-03-09

For all his flaws, Jefferson was easily one of the most visionary of the founding fathers. He was also a lawyer which, if I'm not mistaken, immediately puts him in the category of "fancified elite" if I am to understand the Tea-tard, paleo-conservative mentality of the modern day. He was also highly educated in a way that utterly shames virtually any modern politician.
Jefferson hemmed and hawed on slavery, mostly because I think he honestly felt that it was a practice that America could somehow live with even though it was awful (which is pretty intellectually dishonest on his part), but his ideals for how America should evolve as a democracy and his belief in the Enlightenment are almost entirely the opposite of everything conservatives believe today, and it's easily one of the most frustrating things that he so commonly invoked as some kind of ghost enforcer of the most retarded bullshit coming out of the mouths of profoundly stupid people.


memedumpster - 2013-03-09

Maybe if John Locke has just died in 1956 people would pay as much attention to the ideal.


cognitivedissonance - 2013-03-09

He was also a wild chicken-hawk and minced off and hid when the war came.


Cherry Pop Culture - 2013-03-10

Wasn't Ben Franklin the one that loved the ladies, but had to get French hookers? Or am I just confusing him with another man in politics?


Quad9Damage - 2013-03-11

Ben Franklin was eyeballs deep in pussy. That's why the others sometimes referred to him as the 'Founding Sugar Father.'

Fox and Friends should invite HIM on and ask him about this Tea Party horseshit.


duck&cover - 2013-03-10

"Tell us, Mr. President, what's it like to be raised from the dead."

"Well, Steve, I don't feel that different except a craving for BRAINSSS!"

*Grabs news anchor and gnaws on his skull.*


dr_rock - 2013-03-10

Unfortunately Zombie Jefferson didn't make it off the set, having re-died of malnutrition.


Quad9Damage - 2013-03-10

Onion/Poe's Law.

Love how they flew a mile over that "separation of church and state" bullet point and just mentioned that the awful actor is the president of "Biblical Worldview University."


Quad9Damage - 2013-03-10

Tonight I learned that not only was Jesus Christ a hardcore Republican Teabagger, so, too, was Thomas Jefferson. Huh.


dancingshadow - 2013-03-12

Fucking holy shit


Jet Bin Fever - 2013-03-14

Let's just dig up Jefferson's corpse and skull fuck it while we're at it.


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