Also omitted: the morbidly obese (50-60% of Mississippi's population).

My great-grandmother was born in New Orleans, lived most of her life in rural Mississippi. Shortly before her death, she was shipped up to the Olympia area to live in a retirement community. One of the most poignant thing she ever said to me was "I really didn't know how awful it was in Mississippi, this is so pleasant."

I was in the room when she passed, and she had some pre-mortem delirium (or whatever, give me a better explanation), and she kept saying she could see Heaven. She described it as looking like New Orleans, "except everything is so clean, and nobody is poor."

I know exactly what she meant by that. She spent most of her life in abject Mississippi poverty.

If it weren't for Mississippi, I don't know what West Virginia would do. We should change our signs to read "Welcome to West Virginia--Almost Heaven (compared to Mississippi)!"

Mississippi: America's sweaty taint.

Ironically, I only know that Ole Miss exists thanks to "The Blind Side".

I've done all those things, and none of them required Mississippi. I honestly thought this video, by the title, would have Tom Cruise in it and be a lot more insulting.