this could be a problem

Oh dear.

Why am I grown so cold?

You know the smile that the Grinch does that just inches across his face with malice?

I have that. I can't wait to see the tears.

Bronies will attempt to jerk off to this.
The setting will remind them of high school, where every single one of them had his shit kicked out half a lifetime ago.
Bronies will cry and piss themselves and jerk off some more while buying every single piece of merchandise intended for tween girls.

The only thing I find objectionable is Spike getting to be a dog. Poor spike...

do not want

I originally heard that it wasn't going to have any ties to the Pony Program. I don't know about this, but its worked on by the same FIM crew so it shouldn't be that bad.

WHAT

I never liked them blue people. Or them mixed purple types.

OK, so, not being a brony, or a colossal fucking dork, I'm naturally curious as to what all the fuss is about. I've been checking online trying to find good arguments from each side, but so far all I can come up with is EG Apologists calling EG Pessimists jerks, and vice versa. I *get* that people have strong feelings either for or against Equestria Girls... the question is, why?

Now, I don't want to rush ahead of myself, and I don't want to pass judgement on this film too hastily. After all, I didn't think I'd like FiM and, well, I think we all know how THAT turned out. Right?

However, I will say that, having now watched the trailer, I'm feeling more than a little skeptical about this film's prospects. There are two mane problems here, which I'd like to briefly address:



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1. The "high school" angle. One of the things that I think works really well about FiM, from the perspective of an older male fan, is the age range of the ponies. The Mane 6 are not little kids: while their exact age is never stated, they seem to be young adults, most likely in their early 20s. Most of the ponies have already entered the workforce, the only pony still in school is Twilight, and she's a grad student doing independent study, possibly even the Equestrian equivalent of a post-doctoral candidate. This makes the Mane 6 more relateable for older fans; when Rarity is trying to network and impress influential businessponies to further her own career, when Applejack is working double and triple shifts to make ends meet, when Pinkie is goofing off and partying hard late into the night like some kind of crunked-out co-ed crazypony, these are all things that we, as adults, can empathize with and appreciate.

But placing the ponies in high school takes away that relatability. Instead of work and friendships and pursuing adult goals, like slowly becoming a cat lady because of your untreated, crippling social anxiety, you've got... homework, and fitting in, ogling hunky boys and going to Prom. Ugh. Now, I can see how this approach might appeal to a certain demographic - it should play well with teen and tween girls, who so far have only really had the Cutie Mark Crusaders to relate to on a 1:1 level (and, since the CMC are gradeschool ponies, even that's a bit of a stretch for teenage pegasisters) But it's just not for me.

The high school setting could easily raise a horseload of problems from a story quality point of view - I don't think I need to mention to you guys how terrible "high school dramas" typically are, or examine in detail all the bland, predictable plot-and-character traps these things almost always fall into. I know I'm preaching to the choir here. But I will say that MLP's writing staff is very talented (arguably the most talented writers in cartooning today), and if anyone can pull off a teen drama story without turning it into a stale retread of every other teen drama story in the history of cinema, it's them. So rather than speculate about what issues "might" arise, I'll just say that there are two *specific* issues, based on what I've *actually* seen in this minute long trailer:

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First, it does look like there's going to be a romantic subplot. Please see ( www.youtu.be/Td6BzOAn7do ) for a very good critical analysis of romantic subplots in MLP; I agree with pretty much everything she says. (tl;dw, there aren't any, and this is good)

Second, the fact that they seem to have turned Rainbow Dash into a SOCCER PLAYER. Ugh. Rainbow Dash deserves better. She should be in the Junior ROTC or something, prepping for a career as a military pegasister, not mincing around a soccerfield like some namby-pamby European wuss pony. As a veteran myself, and a firm believer in Human Dash being characterized as a hot shot fighter ace and/or stogie-chomping Mobile Suit pilot, I consider this to be a slap in the face.
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2. The only pony who actually goes through the portal is Twilight Sparkle. Alitwi, no less!

Now, I know Twilight Sparkle is a fan favorite, especially amongst the self-diagnosed aspie-Brony crowd, but I'm going to go on record here as saying that Twilight is the WEAKEST of the Mane 6. I'm sorry, I don''t mean to offend anyone, but it's true. She's always been the weakest pony, and not just since she turned into an alicorn (although yes, I do believe that the alicorn arc, if left unreversed, will only serve to further harm her character)

The thing is, Twilight is kind of boring. She's not a *terrible* character, and I don't *hate* her - I really want to stress this point, because I do like Twilight Sparkle, and I don't want to give you guys the wrong impression here. Twilight is a wonderful character, and she's easily in my top twenty ponies... she's just not in the top five, y'dig? Rarely, if ever, is she capable of carrying a plot on her own; she's too much of a Mare-y Sue to keep the conflicts and tension necessary for an interesting plot going for long. She works best as a kind of "straight pony", an anchor around which the other Five can work the room with their pony charms.

And yet, she's *the only one* who goes to the Real World. What. The buck.

Yeah, I know, there are Mirror Universe Mane Fives there, but it's not the same thing, damn it! These humans (presumably) don't share the same experiences and knowledge base that the Primary Universe Mane Fives have access to. Can we really take Mirror Universe Rainbow Dash seriously, knowing that she's never experienced the thunderous roar of a Sonic Rainboom, rippling outwards from her toned, supple flanks? Can we really admire Mirror Universe Fluttershy, knowing she's never risked her life for her friends by staring down a wicked cockatrice? Oh, but we've got Twilight "Slam a Door in Spike's face" Sparkle, big bucking whoop.

Worse, this plot drives a further wedge between Twilight and the rest of the cast; Celestia herself flat out admits that crossing over into the human universe is something SO SUPER SPECIAL that even the ALICORN PRINCESS IN CHARGE OF THE GODDAMN SUN can't do it. Again, it's symptomatic of her flank-first slide into full blown Mare-y Sue territory. It's embarrassing for her, and it's unfair to her friends, who are becoming increasingly marginalized and expendable. Where does it end? FEMA Glue Camps?

Interestingly enough, while this plot invalidates a number of famous fanon scenarios (such as "My Little Dashie" and all derivative works, in which Princess Celestia CLEARLY states that Rainbow Dash was the first pony to access the human dimension), it lends further credence to my Minecraft-MLP crossover story, in which Equestria is destroyed by an increasingly megalomaniacal, all-powerful Twilight Sparkle, and all her friends are cast into exile, setting up an underground patriot resistance movement in the world of Minecraft.










But, again, it's too early to say whether this will be a good film or not, and, not being a Brony myself, I don't want to rush ahead of myself, or spend too much time thinking about this stuff.

The thing that bothers me is that Human Twilight Sparkle takes her dog to school and nobody says anything about it.

I actually find it kind of depressing that a show created with an openly feminist vibe to it has now been dumbed down to be just another generic girly cartoon where the world revolves around boys and fashion. It would be nice if just once there was a popular franchise that didn't conflate the feminine with the trivial.

More importantly, WHY DID THE BLINDS SPONTANEOUSLY GO UP WHEN TWILIGHT HUGGED THAT GUY AT :48. IS THAT THEIR METAPHOR FOR HIM GETTING AN ERECTION.

So looking forward to this entire universe folding into a cataclysm upon itself.

Dear Princess Celestia,

They're giving me only one call, so I thought it would be best to give today's friendship report over the phone! My first day of school was a little bumpy. I misjudged the reaction of two chemicals during my science class, and the cap shot off the bottle in a puff of smoke! I was tackled to the ground by two armed security guards, who then escorted me to processing, where I was charged with “possession/discharge of a weapon on school property and discharging a destructive device.” Spike has been confiscated by the state, and his wereabouts are currently unknown. I would seem to be facing felony charges, in addition to expulsion from the school grounds.

More to come in the coming court case! Please send my regards to everyone, as well as a heartfelt plea to please god get me out of this waking nightmare world of hairless apes~

Not since the 80s have I seen shameless acts of mass toy marketing through mediocrity to this degree.

At least now they'll only be pedophiles as opposed to zoophiliac pedophiles.

Im sorry but this whole "the magic of friendship" thing is shit and made up by people who have never had friends.

you motherfuckers gave me heartburn

I find the amount of comments you guys have made about this dumb bullshit spinoff of some other dumb bullshit really disturbing.

I'm looking forward to it. I think it looks fun.

Not sure what they mean "In Movie Theatres from June 16". Does the "from" instead of "on" imply limited engagements with a gradual rollout instead of a wide release? Also surprised they're using the British/Canadian spelling of "theatre" instead of the American "theater". I know it's actually animated in Canada but I didn't know Canadians were also in charge of promotion.

I loved seeing some of the brony reactions to this. A lot of them were along the lines of "WHO COULD HAVE WANTED THIS??" like they were oblivious to the fact children also watch this too.

AHEM...

from the facebook of one Christian Weston Chandler

THEY ARE NOT SERIOUS!!!

Officially Turning the Ponies HUMAN?!! That is just terrible! WTF are they thinking; they're inviting High School Pedofile Perverts into the fanbase this way. As is the horse enthusiasts were not enough.

If they really wanted to bring humans into G4, they would do best to replicate the G1 Pilot with Megan and her family.

I am still mixed-up and not sure about "Transformers Prime" going "Beast Wars" And i do like a High School Drama when it's good, like "daria", "MTV's Undressed", "O'Grady" and "Sabrina the Teenage Witch".

High School Drama for My Little Pony?!! They ought to re-air Generation 2 with "My Little Pony Tales".

With due respect, Lauren Faust, Tara Strong the rest of the crew are Out Of Their Minds in turning the Ponies Human! Just Invite Megan, or re-air G2!

Christian Weston Chandler,
Ruckersville VA, USA
May 14, 2013

What I like about MLP videos is they quickly turn POE into the exhibit.