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Desc:He didn't even want to have sex with his wife. Do you know why?
Category:Religious, Educational
Tags:sex, christianity, Sex Education, purity, HoneydewWilkins
Submitted:kamlem
Date:06/16/13
Views:1982
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Comment count is 19
IrishWhiskey - 2013-06-16
Remember, don't set goals for yourself, and you'll end up as successful as God wants you to be. Unlike that miserable failure, Bill Clinton.
sasazuka - 2013-06-16
From the title, I was hoping actual sheep would be involved.
memedumpster - 2013-06-16
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Old_Zircon - 2013-06-16
I'm actually kind of surprised that the web existed when this was made, the video quality screams 1985.
gravelstudios - 2013-06-16
Evangelical fundamentalists are always about 10 years behind in terms of production value. They still are, but the difference isn't as noticeable.

Prickly Pete - 2013-06-16
Despite being on VHS, I have no problem believing that this was recorded last week.

Binro the Heretic - 2013-06-16
Tips for sexually shepherding your son:

- Fuck his mom right in front of him so he knows how it's done

- Take him to a brothel and make him fuck a whore in front of you

- If you catch your son sucking on another man's penis, make him suck a whole bunch of penises until he gets sick of them
RocketBlender - 2013-06-16
So penises are religious cigarettes?

Old_Zircon - 2013-06-16
Yes.

Binro the Heretic - 2013-06-17
They certainly seem to think they are.

To them, being gay is a thing you choose to engage in because you are exposed to people who have already picked up the habit and it just takes willpower to overcome it.

They also believe in ghosts and leprechauns and shit like that. It's why they were so worried about kids reading the Harry Potter books. They thought they were actual instruction manuals for casting spells.

Bort - 2013-06-17
The most important thing to know about them is that they're bullshitters. Even something as maximally important as the sanctity of the fetus gets chucked out the window as soon as there's an unplanned pregnancy with no better options.

So with that in mind, what they "believe" about gays is whatever bullshit fits whatever agenda they're trying to push. And really, what good is it being a soldier for the Lord (which they like) when it also means sacrifices and challenges (which they don't like)? So they seek out fictional enemies (Harry Potter) or they claim to be victimized when, at worst, people are calling them on being closed-minded bullshitters no better than the Pharisees of old.

memedumpster - 2013-06-17
Christians remain the number one argument for the nonexistence of God.

EvilHomer - 2013-06-16
Amputee fetishists? Ew. What kind of ungodly weirdo would ever masturbate to a pony with one leg?
bopeton - 2013-06-17
These stars are entirely for your comment.

dairyqueenlatifah - 2013-06-16
"The best opportunity for a life of successful sexuality!"

I guess "successful" is an entirely subjective term in this case.
Maru - 2013-06-16
Giggity
Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2013-06-16
Hey guys, the URL doesn't exist.
Boomer The Dog - 2013-06-17
I was waiting for the EIT signoff.
Quad9Damage - 2013-06-17
Half of me kept thinking this was an attempt at a stand up comedy act, like Douglas Weiss is a really low-rent and shitty Louis C.K. doing a Holiday Inn conference room gig.

But no, he really wants your son to not ever masturbate while he not ever touches a girl. In other words, Weiss just wants you to keep a stockpile of laundry detergent on hand for plenty of those sticky situations. And prostate cancer? Pfffft.

The thought of this guy making a version of this for daughters terrifies me so much that I don't even want to know if it exists.
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