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Desc:It was just them and their bikes and their support truck and their artisanal food and cocktails.
Category:Short Films, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:dorks, hipsters, motorbikes, yosemite, beardos
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Comment count is 55
HarrietTubmanPI - 2013-07-08

Yeah I thought this was kind of 'hipster' backpacking. They cover the territory on motorbikes while not having to carry anything, then when they get to camp they pretty much have a catered buffet and cocktail bar. They even have someone who wakes them up for them. But, it looks like an interesting business model because apparently you pay a lot of money to do this and you don't even have to get that dirty or sweat that much, and there are plenty of trust fund kids who would pay for that.

Udderdude - 2013-07-08

Business models that revolve around neurotic people with money. It's what makes the world go 'round.

Konversekid - 2013-07-08

Exploiting poor people is what makes the world go round, but this is how the clever get rich. Reminds me a lot of the scheme from the latest Arrested Development season.

pastorofmuppets - 2013-07-08

Or dudes climbing Mt. Everest with sherpas to carry their oxygen and throw ladders up.

spikestoyiu - 2013-07-08

It was a five from the second I saw the heavily filtered preview screen along with a soundtrack listing.

RocketBlender - 2013-07-08

For me, it around 40 seconds, once they showed all the brand new, fitted gear, all lined up and ready to take.

TheOtherCapnS - 2013-07-08

Fucking ugh. This left me wanting to punch something.

Love the voiceover

"in an age of eroding masculinity, where men are depicted as weak and blundering and misguided and shallow"

as they have shots of the men tearing into a catered artisinal cheese and charcuterie spread and enjoying their tiny little 4oz G&Ts

TeenerTot - 2013-07-08

I especially liked "it's the words said on the mountain that you actually remember." Or whatever...I wasn't on a mountain when he said it.

TeenerTot - 2013-07-08

Aw...comments disabled.

TheOtherCapnS - 2013-07-08

Yea, I created a Vimeo account just so I could let them know that the euphemism is actually already that man isn't an island.

That's all I was gonna say, I swear.

Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2013-07-08

I can't see this because it's Vimeo Plus feature, WTF?

glasseye - 2013-07-08

Click on the "original" link.

Stars for evil.

love - 2013-07-08

motor-douche has it set to only allow embedding on certain sites

Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2013-07-08

Never mind found it.


Man they sure put themselves at risk, man. If one of their motorcycles broke down imagine how long they'd have to wait for a Range Rover to come to their rescue. *shudder*

Old_Zircon - 2013-07-08

Not very long, it looks like it was following them with the catering supplies just far enough back that they could pretend it wasn't there.

AnimeStepdad - 2013-07-08

This is everything I hate about everything. Not only are these rich white dudes parading around as tough guys, with their grilled artichokes and hipster haircuts, but they're complaining about the Decline of Manliness too. It has a touch of MRA about it.
I wonder what their potty protocol was. They don't seem like the shit-in-a-hole-and-bury-it types.

zerdzer - 2013-07-08


PegLegPete - 2013-07-08


Hugo Gorilla - 2013-07-08

There's a lot to be said about the modern definition of masculinity and what it means to be a "man," but a more grave problem to society is how every mediocre achievement is glorified. I bet these twits were insufferable braggarts around the water cooler after "roughing" it for a whole two and a half days.

Nominal - 2013-07-08

I don't think thrift stores and coffee shops have water coolers.

Old_Zircon - 2013-07-08

Hey, I've worked at a thrift store and know plenty of people who work or have worked at coffee shops and (in cities at least) it's actually hard work. These guys wouldn't last for a month at either.

Mister Yuck - 2013-07-09

A year in any retail setting would not begin to pay for that trip.

FABIO - 2013-07-09

But have you worked in a HIPSTER thrift store/coffee shop? Most of them work about 15 hours a week before going off on parent funded "adventures" like these.

Cena_mark - 2013-07-08

Well these dweebs never went camping. Real camping is carrying everything on your back. It means shit like beer is too heavy. All you drink is whatever fits in your flask. It means a cooler is too heavy, it means eating ramen and instant oatmeal. Real camping is when you realize you forgot to pack a spoon so you make chopsticks out of sticks.
The trip looks like fun, but fuck them for trying to play it up as though its "roughing it"

Blue - 2013-07-08

If you think that's not roughing it, why don't you try relying on your gut feelings instead of a compass?

Mark my words, these people did not really do a dry run, and their maiden expedition will be a disaster. There's going to be a massive search effort that will finally end when a gas station attendant recognizes some of the missing motorists as the people that broke his payphone and stole food out of the gas station's dumpster.

My prediction is that at least one of them will lose a limb after freaking out about a bug bite and applying a tourniquet.

baleen - 2013-07-08

Driving from one major international tourist attraction to another seems to be defeating the entire purpose before they even set foot on their rented motorcycles.

Cena_mark - 2013-07-08

By "gut feeling" they probably mean GPS.

Blue - 2013-07-08

Where the fuck do I start?

For starters, why the fuck would you go to bed wet? I've gone to sleep with wet clothes to dry them overnight but if you're waking up cold, you're doing it wrong. Why are you waiting to light the fire until morning when people are literally shivering? A place where you don't need a compass to find north? You can just "feel" north? What the fuck are you even talking about? Have any of these people even been camping? It's like if somebody made a Goofus and Gallant guide to camping and they followed just the Goofus parts because they thought he was manlier than his brother.

Gallant leads the campers, giving them specific instructions so everyone can help set up camp quickly. Goofus just waits for setting up camp to be called out of the campers by the situation they were in, which I think means everybody refused to set up the tents until it was raining and they started getting cold. They probably didn't start the fire until early morning when the one or two guys that did all the work setting up the tents didn't stop shivering and started speaking incoherently and it became clear that this was a medical emergency.

Not just woman hating dorks, but the really pathetic shit misogynists that pretend to be emotionally hurt by negative representations of men in commercials. Even though their ideas of masculinity are why the trope of men are bad at homemaking exists in the first place.

I don't ride bikes, so I don't fucking know, can you carry on conversations like that? If so, that may be the real reason nobody is ragging on anybody for having less expensive gear.

To be fair, if I were a heterosexual guy I wouldn't want women to see me doing this kind of wanky baby masculinism shit either. Let's make a goddamn rule. If you ever know a guy that goes on this adventure, don't let them try to open a jar without offering to help them.

badideasinaction - 2013-07-08

Wow, I drove twice as far this weekend as these intrepid adventurers, I must be a true hero to these guys...

baleen - 2013-07-08

Fairly vomitous on all levels.

FABIO - 2013-07-08

This reminds me of the terrible "Nacho" kickstarter.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2035797765/drive-nacho-dri ve-china-and-the-silk-road-by-volks

2 self absorbed white people decide to buy a 200,000 mile van without knowing how cars work and drive it around the world. They really want to go to India, but they're shit planners and driving through Pakistan is too scary so they ask for k as to not inconvenience their vacation. They'll send you an e-book!

Mother_Puncher - 2013-07-08

Apparently being outside with all of the comforts of home is roughing it and connecting with nature.

I hate these people more than anything. They fall into the idea of reconnecting with nature as a trend and something you tell other people to think you are deep or something. But really all they did was burn a bunch of gas not carpooling to their location and then bringing in separate trucks to carry their massive amounts of gear, expensive food and cocktail ingredients. Hypocritical and laughable on so many levels

I want to show some of my hunting buddies this but they dont have internet.

Raggamuffin - 2013-07-08

I'm five starring this, not for the evil of the insufferable people who go on these trips, but for the nobel heros who are relieving them of their money.

Crackersmack - 2013-07-08

I was about to defend these guys since riding dirtbikes is ridiculously fun, and who really wants to eat terrible food and sleep on rocks or whatever to prove you are the biggest survival badass?

Then the narrator kept going and going and ramped up the douchey pretentiousness until I was sincerely hoping that somebody in the video would dump their bike and die.

cognitivedissonance - 2013-07-08

I've never prayed for an outbreak of malaria before, but there you go. Give them a medicinal reason to use bitters in their cocktails, at least.

Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2013-07-08

Haha!! this is a clever parody right? .. right?

Jet Bin Fever - 2013-07-08

I wonder how long they would last if their beer and cheese guy dropped out of the exhibition.

Jet Bin Fever - 2013-07-08


IrishWhiskey - 2013-07-08

No, right the first time.

memedumpster - 2013-07-08

Words fail me.

This video takes every camping adventure, every mountain climbing adventure, every sailing adventure I have ever had and shits on those memories. They were adventures for their own sake, I risked the shit out of my life, and it was better than... whatever the fuck that was.

This, God, is why we thought You made bears. What the fuck is wrong with your bears, Dude? Why aren't Your bears doing their thing in this video? Do You need to make new bears?

STABFACE - 2013-07-08

Stars for all the bears.

TheOtherCapnS - 2013-07-08

Bet none of yours had "curated discussions each night exploring character, courage, and manhood."

TheOtherCapnS - 2013-07-08

That's not just something you get with the 00 a head Alaskan snowmobile adventure. That's something you get with *every* adventure. Also a cook and a cameraman.

Cena_mark - 2013-07-08

In Alaska we call them snow machines, but that's not my deal anymore. I am transferring to South Carolina.

Enjoy - 2013-07-08

With the warmth of the fire and a sense of accomplishment from the days' ride, Aaron's pulled his hand from what had been an ironic beard (and now he had discovered a practical use for it), and swallowed. That brought the fragrance of gruyère cheese to his satiated mouth and he decided to share a thought with his new-found brethren:

Paracelsus - 2013-07-08

If you're gonna take a cushy vacation, why not take a cushy vacation?

StanleyPain - 2013-07-08

It seems like this is actually five times more effort than just actually roughing it a little.

It's not really even "roughing" it anymore...the state of modern outdoor and camping equipment is lightyears beyond what it used to be 15-20 years ago.

RocketBlender - 2013-07-08

Honestly, I use a lot of cheap camping equipment for catering jobs, occasionally at home when I need a gas burner instead of an electric.

Those -30 portable grills and stoves are insanely reliable. This is just plain dumb.

Old_Zircon - 2013-07-08

One stare for being cocktails not cockatiels.

Kumquatxop - 2013-07-09

I love motorcycles, I love camping, and I even love pretentious cocktails . . . but these people are the worst fucking thing ever.

My favorite is the dude on the V-Strom (5:51) who has giant hard-bag mounts on his bike but doesn't even bother attaching any luggage because he doesn't need to carry anything because HIPSTER PORTERS IN PICKUP TRUCKS.

The God of Biscuits - 2013-07-09

Hey guys, lay off. They're being manly men who can't use their cell phones! They aren't even able to post artsy shots of their grilled artichoke on instagram.

Hooker - 2013-07-09

poeTV needs to meet up so we can start the revolution already. This made me unreasonably angry.

hammsangwich - 2013-07-10

Gin and tonic with a lime? You chug whiskey from a plastic bottle when camping. They're not even eating Mountain House! This is not camping.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2013-07-12

I'm late to the party but GOOD GOD what the FUCK. This is the most self involved, puerile, steaming, self indulgent, masturbatory "adventure" I've ever seen.

I've been listening to Joe Rogan and he talks about hiking for hundreds of miles, killing and skinning a deer with his bare hands and using as much of the animal as he could to live off of. And I've been thinking about hiking for a great deal of time when I come back to the US and this just...on a visceral level, on every level, these people have missed the entire point of nature, wilderness, exploration, expeditions, bonding, and camping food should be simple as fuck. ARTISAN FOOD IN THE WILDERNESS. Boy, you really sure learned some valuable life lessons there, boss.

These people are the most self congratulatory group of nitwits to congratulate themselves over nothing since Scientology was invented.

BorrowedSolution - 2014-04-16

Could not finish.

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