... At least it's not a Jack Black stroker, eh?

What's up with this stuff lately? A hundred years ago this was supposed to be a nice, horrible SFW site.

Whatever happened to just using your goddamn hand?

Suck it, stroke it, and pump it up.

Yes ma'am. Thank you ma'am.

The announcer sounds robotic. And that intro/outro cheap music! Whatta turn-on!

'C' batteries, what a ripoff they are, they cost the same as 'D' batteries but have less than half of the capacity!

As featured in THX 1138!

Well, it certainly does suck!

Frankly this think looks better suited to a David Cronenberg film than sexual pleasure. Does the "mouth" come fitted with teeth?

I'm going to use mine to remove the tracking device the machines put in my belly.

Why do i think that the focus on the "quick release valve" is the result of legal action

Putting your dick into machinery is a really hazardous past time.