RocketBlender - 2013-09-04
Delicious.
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theSnake - 2013-09-04
On a warm summer's evenin' on a train bound for nowhere,
I met up with the gambler; we were both too tired to sleep.
So we took turns a starin' out the window at the darkness
'Til boredom overtook us, and he began to speak.
He said, "Son, I've made my life out of readin' people's faces,
And knowin' what their cards were by the way they held their eyes.
So if you don't mind my sayin', I can see you're out of aces.
For a taste of your whiskey I'll give you some advice."
So I handed him my bottle and he drank down my last swallow.
Then he bummed a cigarette and asked me for a light.
And the night got deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression.
Said, "If you're gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right.
You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.
Now Ev'ry gambler knows that the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away and knowing what to keep.
'Cause ev'ry hand's a winner and ev'ry hand's a loser,
And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep."
So when he'd finished speakin', he turned back towards the window,
Crushed out his cigarette and faded off to sleep.
And somewhere in the darkness the gambler, he broke even.
But in his final words I found an ace that I could keep.
You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.
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Ursa_minor - 2013-09-04
"It was your talking that did it"
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Innocent Bystander - 2013-09-04
The gods of poker don't fuck around.
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dementomstie - 2013-09-04
Schadenfreude at its best. I get nothing but pleasure from watching this man lose at the thing he does for a living.
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RocketBlender - 2013-09-04 Same here. There's something so satisfying about watching a person go from that smug to that devastated.
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Xenocide - 2013-09-04
Five for the way his whole practiced, smug facade just crumbles before our eyes.
Bonus stars for his opponent, who is all class.
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cognitivedissonance - 2013-09-04
I know hoodie-glasses man's brother. He apparently lives very comfortably, but is TERRIFIED of the laws on online gambling changing at moments notice, which they do. There was a recent sweep of bank accounts with illegal gambling funds in them, and he lost about a million dollars. He now keeps all his money in cash under his bed like a grizzled Miner-Forty-Niner.
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cognitivedissonance - 2013-09-04 Also, he's germ-phobic Howard Hughes style, since he has no health insurance.
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Old_Zircon - 2013-09-04 Let's hope he doesn't find out that living Howard Hughes style ruins your immune system.
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sosage - 2013-09-04 In this country, a handshake and not being a colossal asshole is batting well above the classy average.
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TeenerTot - 2013-09-04
Wow. You can actually see his ego deflating.
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The God of Biscuits - 2013-09-04
Guy's a total douche, but in his defense, it was the right move.
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roofle - 2013-09-04
Watch as a man's soul dies before your very eyes!
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spikestoyiu - 2013-09-04
So delicious that it seems set up, though I don't believe it is.
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chumbucket - 2013-09-04
laughed so hard at this, almost spit take all over my monitor
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mouser - 2013-09-04
I have no idea what they're talking about or what took place. I don't play poker. All I saw was douchebag getting served by hoodbag.
How much did he loose?
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sosage - 2013-09-04
This is truly one of humanity's dumbest games.
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Jet Bin Fever - 2013-09-04
Sadly, for every douchebag that gets shot down like this, another 20 or so end up getting away with it. Poker is populated by these fuckers. I'm glad I never got into it.
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StanleyPain - 2013-09-04 It's because of how popular and standard Hold 'Em is now. if you go to a casino that has tables or rooms specifically devoted to plain vanilla poker (it's all in the hands, no cards on the table) you'll see a much different mood.
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The New Meat - 2013-09-04
Everything about that man says Cal state Chico drop out.
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memedumpster - 2013-09-04
Texas Holdem isn't poker, it's retard cards for retard people.
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Gwago - 2014-07-18
You can't fake that face. Awesome.
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