I've never seen such hate-filled eyes before.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, does this look to you like the face of a murderer?

Coming up next, my exclusive interview with His Holiness, Pope John Paul II.

I was just waiting for her to slip up and say Bitch. That caught me completely off guard. Bravo.

"WHERE IS SHE YOU MOTHERFUCKER? TALK!"

*whisker twitch*

"YOU'RE REALLY TESTING MY PATIENCE YOU STUPID FUCK! TELL ME WHERE THE BODY IS! WE KNOW YOU HAVE IT!"

*licking paws*

"OH YOU WANT TO PLAY CUTE, DO YOU? YOU WANT TO PLAY CUTE, ASSHOLE?"

*tentatively licks some water from the tube*

(SMASHES THE TUBE AWAY) "DO NOT TEST MY PATIENCE YOU SHITBAG! YOU WANT TO PLAY? IS THAT IT? YOU WANT TO PLAY?"

*starts to play on the squeaky ball and running wheel*

"YEAH, KEEP RUNNING, PAL! YOU'RE GONNA BE EXHAUSTED RUNNING BY THE TIME I'M THROUGH WITH YOU!"

I raised hamsters when I was a kid. They don't give a shit about anything. I know that sounds prejudiced, but it's true. Just look at the statistics.

Did they search his cheeks?

OH GOD! IT'S HIM! TAKE IT AWAY! I CAN'T SEE IT ANYMORE!

I can honestly say that I'm genuinely surprised this got out of the hopper at all, let alone overnight. If there's one thing I've learned from this site, it's that I'm a horrible judge of what you guys will and won't like. It's like throwing spaghetti at the wall.

Dupiest dupe that's ever been duped. Still great, though.

Rodney strikes again.

Look at that hairy smug bastard. We know behind those beady black eyes is a criminal mind filled with the memories of the bodies that he hid.