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Desc:The battle to not look at boobs and jack off
Category:Religious, Trailers
Tags:masturbation, pornography, LOL XTIANS, ted bundy, Repression
Submitted:Syd Midnight
Date:09/05/13
Views:1393
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Comment count is 19
Syd Midnight
Mediocre as an amusingly-recut EIT thing, but good source material:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YFsS_HPydw
Syd Midnight
I should have submitted this one instead; Every Young Man's Battle - The Movie:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5U1V-IlP4I

Miss Henson's 6th grade class
Oh, wow, the football coach pastor is SOMETHING ELSE.
Xenocide
I'M JOHN MADDEN, AND WELCOME BACK TO MADDENSTRABATION 2014.

NOW ON THIS PLAY, THE QB MADE A BIG MISTAKE. HE SCANS THE FIELD, LOCATES SOME FIRST-RATE LADY PARTS ON HIS COMPUTER, AND YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU SEE AN OPENING LIKE THAT, PAT, YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE A MOVE.

BUT THEN HE MAKES THE MISTAKE OF GETTING ALL EXCITED, *THEN* REACHING FOR THE LUBE. AND OF COURSE, IT'S NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. CLASSIC ROOKIE BLUNDER, PAT!

(John draws a circle around the lube, then an arrow pointing in the direction of the penis)

YOU'VE GOT TO GET YOUR LUBE IN POSITION BEFORE YOU START THE PLAY! OTHERWISE, BY THE TIME YOU FIND IT BEHIND YOUR GROSS UNWASHED FUTON, IT'S BEEN FIVE MINUTES AND YOUR WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY'S CLOSED. YOU HATE TO SEE A PLAY FALL APART LIKE THAT.

Miss Henson's 6th grade class
Yes, yes, yes. Break for commercial!

Sanest Man Alive
Why a football coach, anyway? I thought the whole point was NOT scoring.

Syd Midnight
Apparently the right way to prevent young boys from simulating sex is by forcing them to simulate war.

Killer Joe
"C-coach? I was girding my loins, and um... I girded too hard..."

Jet Bin Fever
HAHAHAHAHA. So many good lines. I can't wait to watch the original.
chumbucket
The Church Of Porn
SRP
"If you did a pornography addiction weekend at a chuch, nobody would come!"
Raggamuffin
Thats the idea!

Sivak
I read this and I swear I heard a rimshot.

Old_Zircon
So is this "purrnography" they're talking about porn with cats? Because that's just wrong.
Blue
Until you understand that you are not your own, and that you don't have a right to look at these things, you'll never win!

So he has the same relationship with God that I do with my Domme? Except, of course, he never gets permission and there are never any consequences to his actions. That's a recipe for increasing levels of shame, desperation, and escalating immoral behavior.

I remember reading an interview with a guy that got caught putting hidden cameras in a women's restroom. He was one of these fucks, through and through. Kept talking about his struggles with pornography. That's the problem with a moral compass that essentially says "do whatever the fuck you want, as long as you feel bad about it and apologize".
CornOnTheCabre
The greatest trick God ever pulled was never giving us a safe word.

Senator_Unger
Was that being narrated at a Civil War battlefield?
Sanest Man Alive
"The most common interest among serial killers is pornography"

Really now? I always thought it was, y'know, killing. I guess that connection was just too obvious. Do you know what else is common among serial killers? An abusive, religious upbringing with warped, repressive attitudes about sex!
Juice Eggs McKenna
Blasted, blindsided by the oncoming, uh, offensive lineman
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