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Desc:He's back, people. This time with a Lego recreation of high school, which he obsesses and pines for.
Category:Horror
Tags:lego, high school, Chris Chan, Chris-Chan
Submitted:BiggerJ
Date:11/06/13
Views:1865
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Comment count is 55
EvilHomer
Awwwwwww. His dad has angel wings. That's... that's actually really touching.

Poor Chris, I missed him a lot, I hope he's back for good now.
Jet Bin Fever
It's interesting that his dad is negotiating to the principal so Chris can have friends. Something really strange about that, even if he wasn't dead.

Nikon
Mmhm, yeah.
That was a very odd moment in the clip.

Sexy Duck Cop
Having your father negotiate with the principal is a good way to make friends in high school.

sasazuka
I understand why his father is represented by an angel and I'm sympathetic towards him for that, my own father having died a little over a year before Bob died, but the thing I don't quite get is that, does this show the way things actually were in Chris's high school (at least from his point-of-view), in which case, his father would still have been alive, or is this some kind of fantasy where Chris can go back to high school as an almost 32-year old?

EvilHomer
The best part about that negotiating for friends comment is, it probably happened in real life.

Sasazuka - I don't think Chris thought it through that far.

RocketBlender
The way he says it with almost a sigh "that's one way to make friends..." gives me the impression that yes, this actually is something that happened and most likely didn't work.

In all honesty, I think we're all reading into the wings that much. It's likely that was the easiest way Chris could figure out that people would realize he's dead, since that's how it works in cartoons and games.

Jet Bin Fever
So seeing that shitty My Little Pony thing convinced him to drop hundreds of dollars of taxpayer money on Legos for little girls.
Jet Bin Fever
He does a pretty solid Doc Brown impression though.

SteamPoweredKleenex
This is his first vid on his new channel.

What's the point spread on how long it stays up?
Nikon
I already made a backup.

CharlesSmith
Don't even fucking worry, there are legions of amateur biographers scrambling for any digital scraps of "Christory". Nothing he puts up for more than a few minutes will ever be lost.

Nikon
I thought the revelation that his "gal pals" in high school just tolerated him and weren't really his friends would end his idealizing that time in his life.
Nikon
Nevermind, this was filmed before his high school friends all confessed that they hung out with him out of pity and think he's become a creep.

Sexy Duck Cop
He responded to "them" in the form of a Facebook post they no doubt ignored. Basically, he denied everything on the grounds that they had no reason to "protect" him because, if he truly was being bullied, that would mean getting wedgies and swirlies and being stuffed into a locker and generally things that happened to Ralph Macchio.

That's the thing with Chris-Chan. Call him stupid white trash that will die alone because he shits his pants and is incapable of doing anything more complicated than buying dildos, and you won't offend him. Call him naive and he'll write comics about you forever.

chumbucket
boyfriend/girlfriend gym teachers
Scrotum H. Vainglorious
Digging the Dog the Bounty Hunter hairdo.
Sexy Duck Cop
First, that cameraman (cameragalpal?) needs to stop looking at the monsters because it's rapidly depleting his Sanity Meter.

Second, holy shit. Just this week I stopped by the CWCki to see how our old friend was doing and, after about two years of radio silence, honestly believed he was done with the Internet. I fucking believed him. Do you have any idea how terrible it feels to be lied to by Chris-Chan?
Nikon
Chris-chan wasn't done. He was still updating his status on FB and he was still causing problems for himself and other people around him.

Sexy Duck Cop
I knew he was still crazy and still updating Facebook, but that was all "private" stuff that hinged off his how-the-hell-do-you-still-not-understand-this conception of Internet privacy. This is the first public announcement he's made in a long, long time.

CharlesSmith
The cameraGAL is his mom.

Pillager
Welcome back, crazy man-child.
Scrimmjob
I wonder if there is a logical reason this is being filmed at Mcdonalds. Is their house so nasty at this point that Chris won't even film there?
CharlesSmith
Yes. Also Chris regularly hangs out at McDonalds to use their WiFi.

Sudan no1
He's poor! AH HA HA! HILARIOUS POVERTY!

I admit that Chris Chan is in full freak mode here, but the fact that he's apparently too poor to afford internet and people are laughing at that fact killed the buzz for me.

bluiker
If only there were some way to stop spending money on Lego, video games, porn, sex toys, and McDonalds food!

Sudan no1
Good point, if you wanted to sound just like a "drug test all the poors" Republican.

EvilHomer
I thought he'd lost his home internet service as the result of a court order/ psych evaluation? I could be wrong.

And Sudan, it's not that he's poor, it's that he's filthy and his home is packed floor to ceiling with his mom's hoarded crap. I can only imagine how bad it's gotten since Bob died.

bluiker
Chris literally spends all of his Social Security income on toys, video games, and junk food. With Bob gone, I'm not sure how he and Barb get along day to day, but they'd sure as hell be doing better if he'd stop spending it all on frivolous crap (like the Lego Friends proudly displayed in this video) and started buying real groceries and learned to cook. And as EH said, it's not so much that he's LOL POOR (because he refuses to get off his ass and get a job to supplement his SS, which he could easily do; he's held down jobs before), it's that he lives in filth and flaunts wasting money on garbage he doesn't need.

Five horrible stars for arguing about Chris Chan on the Internet!

Scrimmjob
I don't think his being too poor to afford the internet really plays into why he would do something like this in a McDonalds.

CharlesSmith
Being bad with money =/= poor.

RocketBlender
I don't think anyone is taking the republican line when they say buying a bunch of legos and flaunting it online is not the optimal use of a social security check.

Sudan no1
"I thought he'd lost his home internet service as the result of a court order/ psych evaluation?"

This is believable, but can any dedicated Chris stalkers can find a link to back this up?

In any case, I hate it when Chris Chan fans get angry about MUH TAXES. You obviously get a lot of entertainment out of him, I'd say that's worth your .000001 of a cent.

bluiker
No one got angry until you got angry about assuming that everyone else was spitting on him solely because he's "poor." Hope this helps :)

Sudan no1
"u mad bro" funniest meme 2013 troll_face.jpg

Nikon
>he's held down jobs before

He worked for CutCo for three months and Wendy's for a month. The reason why his dad set up SSI for him is that he knew his son was unemployable.

bluiker
I think he could hold down a basic job i.e. pushing carts, rolling silverware (especially with a job coach) if he had any kind of decent guidance in his life. He obviously doesn't and isn't likely to get any. That's not his fault, but he's shown basic competency and motivation when it's something he wants (vidya games, sex). He could find help if he really wanted it. It's pointless anyway because he would just blow the extra income on garbage.

In any case, it's silly to jump on people for POORSHAMING when A) we aren't even sure that's the reason he's filming in McD's (it may be court-ordered, he may be avoiding his filthy house), and B) if he IS low on money, it's his (and Barb's for not reigning him in) damn fault.

There are way better reasons to feel gross for laughing at this.

takewithfood
This is probably the most normal thing I've seen him do.
RocketBlender
The first 20 seconds aren't really that bad. The haircut is... Something, but he's finally ditched that pendant, actually looks somewhat decent, and apparently is involved in Extra Life in some way, which in honestly pretty cool.

Then cue the highschool, and what the fuck?

This is unrelated, but what the fuck is up with Lego friends? I was always kind of under the impression Lego didn't do anything targeted to specific genders, and the people pieces in there are terrible!
sasazuka
Eh, I understand the arguments against the existence of LEGO Friends and I might agree with them to some degree, but my 7 year old niece can't get enough of the stuff, so the marketing specifically to girls does work. She does play with other kinds of LEGO too, but the stuff at the top of her birthday and Christmas lists is always LEGO Friends.

memedumpster
The U-Dawg haircut is striking.
bluiker
Boy turtles are ninjas
Girl turtles are cheerleaders
Oh Chris, you'll never change, will you.

This is an impressive construction (for a mentally ill shut-in) and the Lego Marty McFly made me smile a little...it's sad to think there might be a relatively harmless pure soul, kindred to U-Dawg, lurking somewhere beneath the casual bigotry, laziness, blameshifting, and hateful paranoia he inherited from his trash parents.

I wonder who that's supposed to be in detention.
SexualBasalt
I would imagine it's the owner of the gam store that his mother tried to kill or whatever.

takewithfood
Naturally, the brown-skinned Lego figure who has fallen out of their desk at around 8:15 is trying to cheat on a test.

CharlesSmith
The person in detention is Megan Schroeder, who he now believes is responsible for all the trolls (because his mother told him, years later, about a conversation she had with the owner of the game store they used to hang out at about how Chris was sexually harassing her).

EvilHomer
He hates Sailor Megtune now? When did this happen?

RocketBlender
Nono, still loves Sailor Megtune now. In fact, he and Megtune have come to the agreement that Megan shouldn't have ever been born, even if that would mean poor Megtune wouldn't exist.

RocketBlender
Whoops, I apparently read or remembered what I saw on CWIKI after going there after this video. It's actually Megami the Skunk who hates her creator and feels she shouldn't have existed.

http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Megag i_La_Skunk_agrees_that_you_should_have_never_been_born

Also, what the fuck is wrong with me for having this conversation?

EvilHomer
No, that is a great conversation, you have nothing to feel bad about. Also, holy shit, I gotta go back to Facebook. I'm guessing Chris' FB is private?

I can't believe he stripped Megtune of her Sailor powers! That's really fucked up, I wonder if it went down like one of those de-powering superheroine fetish videos? I agree that we'd all be better if Megami the Skunk never existed, though.


I really hope he doesn't kill her. Megan seems like a nice girl, diabolical plans to ruin Chris' life notwithstanding.

sasazuka
My own high school years were miserable and not really something I get all that nostalgic about. I mean, I miss being young, but I wish it had been somewhere else, like in the idealized problem-free perfect high schools seen in the anime I enjoy.
RocketBlender
I think that's what a lot of people wish for as they get close to their mid-late 20s. Probably why those things are so popular.

bopeton
But if Michelangelo went to your high school and ate pizza in the cafeteria, you might not feel that way about it.

Nikon
The other reason those HS anime are popular is that work stinks. People want to think about what it was like before they had to work and pay bills.

yogarfield
i love you, you big autistic godzilla. please recreate all of your personal infernos.
dairyqueenlatifah
It's nice to see him back and all after so long, but I think the days of him doing crazy shit on camera/the phone for everyone to laugh at, are over.

I'd love to see another Saga.
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