when i was a kid i had a neighbor who masturbated onto his don't wake daddy. also on his turtle van.

if i had to guess, daddy was already awake.

The only way into the kitchen is through Daddy's room. Either that, or Daddy's bed is in the middle of the living room.

I wonder if this thing started off as a burglar-themed board game, with the easily awakened daddy clutching a shotgun.

Now its time to take a lackadaisical ride on the Back-in-the-Day cycle...

While I was in college, I was hanging out with a good friend named Dan at his mom's house. We had just bought some really shit weed from a kid we met on the MUD that Dan admin'd (Act of War) and decided to get stoned at about 2 am on his porch.

We snuck back inside and raided the kitchen (he got pretzels and I grabbed a box of ice cream bars) and proceeded to sneak upstairs where Dan had a room with TV, Xbox, computer etc. The problem was that Dan's sister and her two toddlers lived there too and the stairs were littered with toys and other kid related detritus.

Being reminded of this game, Dan whispers "Don't wake Daddy!" (which was really funny because a. we were hella high and b. his Dad just left his mom because it turned out he was gay).

The only response I could muster was "By Parker Brothers!" in a very off putting falsetto voice.

We both bursted out laughing, and realizing the jig was up, ran up the stairs. We tripped on every single toy and step on the way up, laughing and screaming and making a general ruckus the entire way up. We jumped into Dan's office and slammed the door shut, waiting to see who was going to wake up and discover our illicit drug use.

No one woke up.

And to this day, I cannot suppress a huge shit eating grin whenever someone mentions Don't Wake Daddy.

By Parker Brothers.