I made it to "Jeff Dunham"

Seriously, hold out for 1:05.

What a beautiful example of the bottom dog retreat instinct in conservatives.

Excellent story, it's also why I hate almost every American airport I've been through.

The TV's blare this shit so loud you cannot mentally focus. I will wander an airport to find a spot where I don't need my earphones so loud that I'll accelerate hearing loss. I don' care how far from my gate it is.

He was caught between the First and Second Laws of Food Service Management:

First Law: A Food Service Manager shall not, through action or inaction, cause a customer to call the local news or post a negative review on Yelp.
Second Law: A Food Service Manager shall at all times be an assholish Napoleon, believing that such "leadership" motivates employees to work harder for less money and for customers to finish their meals and leave.

This is one reason I always bring earplugs with me. Everywhere. Always.

I've never had this problem at airports before; I've flown to just about every major airport in the US. I see a lot of TVs on, but I don't really hear all that much.

Then again I spent 6 years as an artilleryman in the Marines, so my ears are pretty well shot.

I've also never had that experience with airports. In fact, I can't remember the last time I even noticed a TV in an airport.

OZ; You shouldn't brag about harnessing the mystical power of ignoring things that don't interest you. It's unfair to everybody else.

Actually I will take that back because Mike Nelson and Enjoy both make me laugh. Here's to both of them.

woops, wrong button.

Maybe the employees were enjoying watching TV.

This is his audience now. Ever since he went overboard with Achmed the dead terrorist, only conservatives find him "edgy."

I think his turban-wearing zombie dummy could've worked, but not in his ham-fisted act. At least, not in a way that would get him a TV or movie deal.

Jeff Dunham is essentially Mike Nelson without the good sense to keep his real opinions to himself.

How dare you Cog.

I want to learn more about this, maybe it will shed some light onto why I've never been able to enjoy Mike Nelson outside of two or three episodes from his first season as the MST3k MC.

Mike is very conservative. However, he's also very polite, and responsive to the fact that he has an intelligent fanbase that are varied in opinion. He doesn't go Victoria Jackson about it. Also, TV's Frank calls him out on it on Twitter whenever he does.

@Cog, the only place I've ever seen him say anything about being conservative was some joke right-wing name for the (I think) Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel. It was in print form, so I couldn't tell if he was joking or not (saying it in a Colbert Report way or whatever).

Has he ever had any fairly serious "I'm a conservative and here's what I think" moments?

Polite conservatives that aren't constantly trolling everyone are extremely rare in my world. Let alone one whose primary trade puts him in front of an audience.

We need to study him and figure out how the hell such a person exists.

These kids were paid highly for their participation in candy. Conservatives have lots of it! No sense of humor...but tons of candy.

Actually I will take that back because Mike Nelson and Enjoy both make me laugh. Here's to both of them.

They were laughing at gunpoint.

Nah, just imagine the kid as someone who has conditioned themselves to laugh at everything motioned as funny.

Sort of like how emotionally damaged people can sometimes survive by nodding and motioning their head based on the tone of voice nearing a sentence, or at each pause.

Normally, I either enjoy the laughter of children or am indifferent to it.

That kid's laugh is like someone poking me in the back of the neck with a grilling fork.

Maybe their parents withhold love if they don't laugh hard for television cameras.

Not if you go by Forbes' 2013 list. He gets bumped to #4. Unfortunately with Louis C.K. trailing by 3M and Chris Rock not even in the top 10. But there may be a small comfort in the fact that a different ventriloquist (Terry Fator) took the #2 spot. (I say "may be" because I've yet to hear the material.)

Oh my god, for some reason this made me have the realization that conservatives may not actually realize that Peanut is a puppet. This could also explain Mike Nelson.

The conservatives have the cash, so it's not surprising he can command high fees. "Not as reviled as Dennis Miller" is probably a bonus.