Wow. That last half-second is pretty freaky. Like, shape-shifting reptilian freaky.

Poor deer. He looks about ready to find the nearest airport.

His name is "Gary Southern". He runs a company called "Freedom Industries".

This is not a human being. It's okay to kill him.

(flame effect added by channel 8 news)

I swear to god, when he opened his mouth, I expected to hear "Archie Luxury here! Tell me what you think, fuckers!"

Anyone thirsty for an Aquafina? This is a hell of an endorsement.

"Water polluted by some guy who has more money than your entire ancestry had, even when adjusted for inflation, and makes his dosh shortening your life span? Have an Aquafina."

All right, you know what? Yeah, the guy is an asshole. Yes he's responsible for the damage his company did, but we as a culture have to start shouldering some of the blame ourselves.

We de-fang the EPA by weakening their ability to punish companies that do shit like this then cripple it further with budget cuts that reduce its personnel and their ability to investigate and/or prosecute wrongdoing. We treat everyone who warns us shit like this will happen like an air-headed tree-hugger who hates America and towns desperate for any jobs it can find will fight tooth & nail to attract companies like this in cutting them all sorts of tax breaks an waiving all sorts of laws & regulations.

All because we think rich assholes should have the "freedom" to make even more money at the expense of the environment.

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!"

The universal sound that something that is going poorly for you is about to get considerably worse.

Q. How is this guy complaining about his hard day to the press?

Q. How is he just casually drinking water?

Q. What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck?

I expect these to be answered in an FAQ Freedom Industries releases soon.

I hope he's murdered in his sleep.