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Comment count is 25
Robin Kestrel - 2014-04-06

Aaaaaand it's gone.

That was really the optimal result in that situation.


sasazuka - 2014-04-06

Needs the "wait for it" tag.


The Mothership - 2014-04-06

totally.


oddeye - 2014-04-06

Skip to 19 seconds.


Binro the Heretic - 2014-04-06

They put these people on a timer that starts when the trucks stop. They get incredibly paranoid about taking too much time at a stop. Things like this happen a lot due to haste.

The guy who makes our regular deliveries at work would probably knock down an old lady using a walker if she got in his way. He's certainly shoved office staff out of his way a few times. I don't think he even realizes he does it or that they're even there at all he's so focused on getting in and out. He's learned to tune out everything that doesn't have to do with making the delivery.


sasazuka - 2014-04-06

You're implying FedEx drivers can be real pricks sometime.

Oh my god, StalkedInBoston is right!


Binro the Heretic - 2014-04-06

Not really, since there's no malice behind it.


Billy the Poet - 2014-04-06

That's interesting. I've been noticing for years that my work's UPS driver--always the same guy--is very chill, but the cast of Fedex drivers always seems harried.


The Mothership - 2014-04-06

the drivers in small university-towns are pretty laid back; they still work hard, but don't shove people around.


Old People - 2014-04-06

A fucking automatic timer? God, that's dehumanizing. Fuck the corporate world.


infinite zest - 2014-04-06

I've kind of had the opposite, UPS and USPS being the jerks.. my apartment complex is in a very open parking lot area and there's cases of stolen goods all the time by tweakers who just take the box without knowing what's inside.. for example a neighbor of mine lost her package, which wasn't anything that valuable, just sentimental, while my neighbor almost lost a brand new turntable. It probably would have been stolen if I hadn't been outside smoking and signed for it.

Most of the doors have big signs that say "UPS/USPS/FEDEX: DO NOT LEAVE PACKAGES ON PORCH. THEY WILL BE STOLEN!" except for mine because I never order online. UPS seems to be the only one who doesn't seem to see these signs.

Another time when I was at work our UPS driver came in with his friend, who asked if we were hiring. Since this was a movie theatre, deliveries happened before business hours, during prep. I had to take the package back with me anyway, and the little register we used was just opened by a key, which didn't really lock it up anyway. I took the package back, grabbed an application, and within less than a minute the opening bank bag was gone, which I unfortunately didn't notice for another 45 minutes when we opened.

I fucked up by turning my back, but I trusted the guy as he'd been our regular UPS guy for as long as I had worked there. It wasn't a ton of money, but it still pissed me off, as I was accused, and he was asked about his his "friend" who I never saw again.. I didn't get fired for that.. it was my manager's fault for leaving me there to do 4 tasks as much as it was mine, but I asked how we'd go about investigating it further and he was just like "drop it Joe" as it would imply going through UPS, etc.


EvilHomer - 2014-04-07

I lost my first job because of a FedEx driver. Little bastard used to forge signatures and leave packages on the dock, rather than wait the extra the extra thirty seconds to find an employee and let us know he'd made a delivery. I let it slide, because whatever, dude was overworked and I'm not a busybody... until a few thousand dollars worth of textbooks never showed up, and I took the fall it. It wasn't even my name he forged, but at that point I was too fed up with office politics to fight the decision. That fucking asshole.

The UPS guy was cool, though.


infinite zest - 2014-04-07

I always wondered about that. Usually I'd be the one having to sign for UPS and FedEx, and they have those little Newton-esque pens which just look like DMD scribbles.. I could never get my signature to look my own.. they'd just be like "name?" I'd say my name and away they'd go.

Our shipments were almost exclusively film canisters (more often new trailers than actual films) but if someone was just loitering outside of the theatre, they could easily say "you work here?" and the person says "yes" and runs off to make bootlegs. Obviously you'd need a lot of equipment to bootleg celluloid film, but now that everything's digital, it seems like a huge liability.


EvilHomer - 2014-04-07

Yeah, it's a ticking time bomb, and fuck if I know if there's any labor law in place to deal with it. There probably isn't. FedEx has a bunch of scribbles and leaves your shit wherever and, oh well, scribbles, hope you don't get ripped off. Frankly, it's a miracle it took so long for merchandise to go missing. Our store was right on the frontlines between yuppie Bohemian college land and homeless crack addict state mental patientville; we actually had a pair of methheads steal a pallette full of donated textbooks from off the back of the unviersity VP of Public Relations' pickup truck. The guy's truck was sitting right in the parking lot; they just snatched the books, came inside, and tried selling them like they were fucking students or something.

Also, our head manager was fired after filing sexual harrasment lawsuits against said university VP, corporate had us under investigation for a full year over loss prevention issues only to find out the person responsible for stealing all our shit was the manager they'd placed in charge of the investigation, and some poor undergrad who was working in the cafe got shot in the face by a townie stalker.


The Mothership - 2014-04-08

EvilHomer, you're making this shit up. That is too good to be real. I call you out, news stories please or my motion to dismiss your account stands.


Mister Yuck - 2017-08-09

I'm assuming the guy left his truck in neutral to defeat the tattler. Our Fed Ex guy would do that when I worked in a warehouse. We had a ramp to our dock and the poor guy would leave his truck in the flat cul-de-sac and run up and down our ramp as fast as he could. Fuck Fed Ex. The UPS guy was cool as shit and would hang out with us for 20 minutes every morning while we had our coffee.


Jet Bin Fever - 2014-04-06

One foot to the left would've been a couple thousand more in repairs, probably.


Bort - 2014-04-06

This is the sort of thing I have nightmares about.

Anyone else have the nightmare where you're driving, you get distracted by something in the back seat, you climb in the back seat to look at it, and it's only when you're there that you realize you are no longer in control of your car and if you don't scramble back into the driver's seat immediately somebody will die? I interpret that one as, I haven't been paying enough attention to the road when I drive and I need to take driving more seriously. (Either that or I need to clean out my back seat.)


Adham Nu'man - 2014-04-07

It is an archetypal dream that means you want to fuck your kids.


gravelstudios - 2014-04-07

I had a dream once where I got pulled over and I didn't have pants on, and i just hoped the officer wouldn't notice.


oddeye - 2014-04-07

No law against driving without pants (I assume)


Bort - 2014-04-07

Before I get into the car, or lock it, I quietly sing the "Keys, Cell Phone, Wallet, Pants" song (to the tune of "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes"). Since doing that I haven't been locked out of my car once, or entered a store without pants. Sure, the sign reminds me about my shirt and shoes, but pants are my job.


Miss Henson's 6th grade class - 2014-04-07

Who's that delivering packages? PATRICK SWAYZE!


Aubrey McFate - 2014-04-13

My Thought Process Upon Clicking Play:

"Oh man, this will be rough to watch. I bet the dogs go after him or he tosses the package into the backyard or something. I mean I worked with the postal service for a while, I guess I can sympathize, but...

Oh. Oooooooh. Wow. Never mind. That's hilarious."


infinite zest - 2014-04-13

heh yeah I was thinking the same thing.. it was one of those "you think YOUR monday is bad.." things that I never click on via facebook, but I did anyway.

Is it wrong for me to secrectly wish the dogs jumped the fence and started chasing after him?


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