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Comment count is 52
TeenerTot - 2014-05-29

I never saw this movie.
I'm having a hard time describing my reaction to this clip.


memedumpster - 2014-05-29

I've only seen this part, the people who showed it to me describing it "as the only part worth seeing in this movie." The rest of the movie must be outright dismal.


takewithfood - 2014-05-29

I guess this scene seems cool until you realize that nothing that anyone does in it makes sense.

Also, the best part of the movie is the Selina Kyle cafe scene.


memedumpster - 2014-05-29

Is that when they're in Katz's Deli and she gets into a debate with Billy Crystal over women faking orgasms and Bane is all "I'll have what she's having?"


EvilHomer - 2014-05-29

I did not like their Selina Kyle at all. Selina is supposed to be a master burglar. She's fit, busty, built like a stripper, and, in her best incarnations, has short cropped hair, emphasizing her tomboy cuteness and being perfect for tucking under her skintight cat hood. In this movie, Selina Kyle was a waifish Hollywood model type, who looked like she'd have trouble dealing with croutons, let alone guard dogs and laser beam security systems.


memedumpster - 2014-05-29

Meg Ryan isn't for everybody.


garcet71283 - 2014-05-29

Movie isnt as bad as people make it out to be. Its biggest problem is that it is overlong and feels like it was written to be two movies but everyone only signed on for one...and dammit they were going to use both screenplays


Hooker - 2014-05-29

I have such a weird relationship with this film. I wanted and still do want to like it, but but it's just so meandering.

It's like sitting in a car trying to turn over a fucked engine for a while, then you get out and check under the hood and everything seems to be fine, so you get back in the car but the engine still won't turn over and you have no idea what could be going wrong and then you and your car inexplicably falls down a well and you both spend the next thirty minutes trying to get out of the well and you wonder, wait a minute, didn't I want to go somewhere? Why am I in a fucking well now? What is this shit? Meanwhile, Bane is trying to blow up a football game? And then he shot the only scientist that knows how a bomb works? What? And nobody can learn this shit in the ten-month-long timer Bane put on it? And they're driving it around the city? What? Why is it always winter? Why has society totally collapsed? Gotham/Manhattan isn't _actually_ an island; you can sneak people in and out. Uggggggh.

Also, the FBI agent would shoot a guy and throw them out of a plane because, presumably, he isn't a sadist. The point wasn't to throw them out of the plane; the point was to kill them and then get rid of the body. Bane really misread the situation there.


Albuquerque Halsey - 2014-05-29

Was posting that part of your plan?


EvilHomer - 2014-05-29

Excuse me. How did Bane misread the situation? Bane was calling bullshit on the agent because he knew the agent didn't actually shoot anyone, he knew the agent was just playing mind games. And Bane was right: he read the situation perfectly.

Also, the FBI agent wouldn't have to get rid of the body by dumping him off a plane; it's a completely unnecessary act. In fact, if he was REALLY concerned about getting rid of the body, dumping it out of the plane would be the LAST thing he'd want to do! You throw a body out of a plane, and there's no telling where it'll end up. Terrorist corpse lands in some civilian's garden with a bullet through it's head?!? Hi, international news media! Don't be stupid. That's a rookie cleaner mistake. Whatever airfield they're going to is presumably secure; they'll have ample opportunity to dispose of the body, safely and cleanly, once they land.

And don't even get me started on how wasteful it is to *actually* kill uncooperative hostages, especially when you've got no more pressing goals to deal with, that having said hostage alive would make difficult to accomplish. The goal, of course, is not kill hostages at all, but to get them to talk; if that means you need to stick them in an indefinite detention center for a few years, then that's what you do. You don't just try once and then give up and execute the guy, especially not when you've got everyone else bagged and are thus able to intimidate the other hostages by merely pretending to kill the first guy.


oswaldtheluckyrabbit - 2014-05-29

I never got how this was supposed to be bad and those POS Marvel movies were supposed to be good


That guy - 2014-05-29

Or they could all stink?

This should help for later:

IF collectible cups THEN garbage


Quad9Damage - 2014-05-29

Bane is a hard villain to get right. When he's not being portrayed as Poison Ivy's retarded 'roid slave in "Batman & Robin" he's being Bataranged in the head and sent careening into walls in "Arkham Asylum" or subjected to a 'throw the bad guys in the county lockup' kind of resolution in "Arkham City." Hell, even the comics sometimes have trouble doing him justice, or otherwise criminally underuse him.

Then "Dark Knight Rises" comes out and since Venom is a verboten story element in Christopher Nolan's sci-fi free Batverse of super serious business, we get a guy who wears painkillers on his back and can't seem to pick an accent. This incarnation of Bane isn't quite the assramming that was done to his character in "B&R" but it's still not the Bane I know and love.

I never got to the end of "Arkham Origins." Maybe they finally did something worthwhile with him.


SteamPoweredKleenex - 2014-05-29

Why is the venom out of bounds? Is it a "glorifying drug use" thing? If so, Bane's the BAD GUY, so why wouldn't he do things he's not supposed to?

Also, the venom use leads to one of the more powerful scenes in Batman Beyond, when they show you what eventually happens to Bane.


Bobonne - 2014-05-29

Not to mention, after his initial arc, Bane himself realizes the Venom only made him weaker overall, as his dependence on it sapped his other inherent abilities, and he's worked hard over most of his existence as a character to stay clean of it.

He's possibly one of the most powerful anti-drug characters in comics.


Aelric - 2014-05-29

Arkham origins had a decent little twist with Bane that was a callback to the original comics, but then had it mostly glossed over and turned him into a giant boss fight again. Actually, more than one. But his overall portrayal in Origins is not bad, and frankly, neither is origins in general. I liked it, at least.


Kabbage - 2014-05-29

I loved this movie's Bane. A lot.


Quad9Damage - 2014-06-01

In retrospect, "Origins" was not that bad. My biggest problem was my subjective disappointment that "Origins" turned out to be a Year Two set circa 2013 instead of the '80s; I wanted a game where Batman could only rely on his intelligence, wit and regular gadgets because he wouldn't have Detective Mode and all the other forensic computer shit in his cowl.

Once WB Games ironed out all the major glitches and bugs the "fix your game!" dingleberry nerd brigade lost their legs to stand on. It's a fun Batman game, and I played far enough to cream my boxers over the "Killing Joke" Joker origin sequence.


RockBolt - 2014-05-29

This covers my feelings pretty well (featuring Red Letter Media)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQJuGeqdbn4


memedumpster - 2014-05-29

"My Cocaine!"


Maru - 2014-05-29

I think this movie is despicable and retarded, but this scene is great. I was absolutely convinced this would be an awesome movie when I saw this part.


Gmork - 2014-05-29

ellipses


CornOnTheCabre - 2014-05-29

Yeah, as someone who was thoroughly unimpressed by Rises in almost every way (beyond me wanting Tom Hardy's dick, and that shit almost got me through Star Trek: Nemesis), I have no idea why this scene would be the tipping point.

In fact, I'm pretty sure this is the exact scene they put in front of IMAX screenings of Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol as a sneak preview, and it got me pretty damn hyped. Bane beating the shit out of Carcetti? What's not to like?


cognitivedissonance - 2014-05-29

Despicable in a lot of ways, but the rabid neoconservatism of this movie really was my only true complaint. Y'see, kids, due process of law is a LIEBERAL SCAM,.


Maru - 2014-05-29

Gmork, why are you elipsisying me? Everyone agrees that this is the best part of this shitty movie.


Sexy Duck Cop - 2014-05-29

You guys really don't enjoy anything besides early-90's PC strategy games, do you?


Gmork - 2014-05-29

LATE 90's PC strategy games.


EvilHomer - 2014-05-29

Damn straight, SDC. Is hating this part actually a thing? Because this part was great; the rest of the movie was a little forgettable, but you have to be a stone dead snerb to go into a Batman movie and then not appreciate this.


SteamPoweredKleenex - 2014-05-29

You kids'll just swallow anything without question or critique, won't you?


EvilHomer - 2014-05-29

I can't even make it through a Reading Rainbow kickstarter without question or critique. :(


Sexy Duck Cop - 2014-05-29

Steam Powered Kleenex: Wouldn't enjoying The Dark Knight Rises mean that I am questioning and critiquing, given that The Internet reflexively hates the third movie of every trilogy ever made and then pretends they never enjoyed said trilogy from the start?

I mean, Lord of the Rings/Spider-man/The Matrix/The Dark Knight are all obviously irredeemable trash on par with Breaking Bad and Mad Men after it ends in 18 months, but not everything can be as sophisticated as Grim Fandango or Planescape: Torment.


Hooker - 2014-05-30

What is this shit? Those aren't even strategy games.


Raggamuffin - 2014-05-29

Why did Bane need to be captured to ambush the aircraft? His stated reason is to find out what Dr. Pavel told them, but he didn't find out anything. He didn't even ask anyone anything.

They were trying to make it look like an accidental plane crash, but they shot everyone up and used explosives to blast the plane in half. Even if they stole and replaced the flight recorder so investigators wouldn't hear the gunfire and explosions, the nature of the crash would still be pretty suspicious wouldn't it?

The CIA agent (who introduces himself with "I'm CIA") mentions that he will "call it in" when he brings the extra hostages onto the plane. While CIA claims that he only reported one extra hostage so that he could kill the other two, he was clearly bluffing. He had always intended to bring all of them along with him, as evidenced by him not killing any of them during the interrogation. If Bain hadn't realised this when he chided CIA for shooting his hostage before throwing him out of the plane, he certainly would have realised it when his blindfold was removed and both his men were still present. So why would anyone expect only one of Bain's men on the plane? If CIA had indeed made his report, they should expect 3 extra bodies. If he hadn't made his report yet, they would expect none.

Plotwise, a large reason why Bain told someone to stay behind was to illustrate to the audience the loyalty of Bain's men. Wouldn't it make more sense to hijack the plane while it was on the ground, and replace the pilot with someone who would crash the plane intentionally, demonstrating the same level of sacrifice?


EvilHomer - 2014-05-29

You are assuming that Bane would not tell one of his men to stay behind unless he had a good, mission-oriented reason to do so. I see why we have to assume this. It is entirely possible, indeed likely, that Bane knew his plan was ridiculous and unnecessary. He probably went through the whole "use one plane to crash another plane" thing because it was expensive, and he knew that he could use it to weasle more funding out of the Assassins. It's a pork barrel ops. As for the guy that got left behind, maybe Bane didn't like him? Perhaps Bane had caught him stealing lunches from the terrorists' work fridge?


EvilHomer - 2014-05-29

* sorry, "I do not see why we have to assume this."


dairyqueenlatifah - 2014-05-29

I dunno what you guys are talking about. I loved it.


StanleyPain - 2014-05-29

It was a good movie, but they fucked this scene up by replacing Bane's dialog just because dipshit nerds on the internet couldn't "understand him" in the cell-phone quality vids they were taking off the 'net when this scene was being screened as a trailer in IMAX. I understood him fine, and the line reads were much better in the original recording. I would honestly pay money for a new release of this with the original dubbing restored for the whole movie (which I assume they re-did most of) since the dialog was all recorded while the movie was being made instead of, you know, months after Tom Hardy wasn't even playing Bane anymore and had to be called back.


roughnready66 - 2014-05-29

The third act drags a little bit but a pretty damn perfect movie otherwise.


Riskbreaker - 2014-05-29

Good movie, i know most nerds hate the trilogy because it doesn't fit with whatever idea they have of the "perfect batman movie", yet they flock to see this stuff anyway.


Sanest Man Alive - 2014-05-30

I just hate The Dark Knight for saying "Fascism is okay, as long as you're wearing a cape!" I was actually enjoying the movie until that happened.

Also, when he hung up said cape between that movie and this one, I took it to mean Bruce Wayne was going to step up as himself for a while and try to fix shit in a public way; maybe donations to a beleagered police department and backing politicians and public figures who weren't laughably crooked. LOLNOPE LOCK ALL THE DOORS WE'RE GOING FULL HOWARD HUGHES

Also, "Never trust women. They will always stab you in the back. Fucking literally."


EvilHomer - 2014-05-30

I'd argue that everything DC Comics has ever done, with the possible exception of Lobo, has said "Fascism is okay, as long as you're wearing a cape!"

That is the essence of DC Comics.


Sexy Duck Cop - 2014-05-30

Most nerds loved the first two movies, then by the third decided that their perfect Batman movie would be some godawful Adam West/manga/Batman Beyond/spaghetti Western mess for no reason other than the immutable law of the universe that nerds will turn on you after the second movie.

Before Batman Begins, these same people were CLAMORING for a serious retelling of the Batman story. They got it, loved it, made it ten billion dollars, dressed up as the Joker for Halloween, funded Cracked.com for three years, then out of nowhere decided the entire project was a disaster.

This is why I don't post anymore.


Scattersane - 2014-05-29

Sometimes, when there's a movie I want to see, I'll have a weird dream about the movie before I see it where the plot will be all out of whack and will feel like a fevered, meandering mess with no rhyme or reason. I didn't have a dream about this movie, but when I saw it I thought I was having it right there.


oddeye - 2014-05-29

Comic books are for children, this movie is shit and makes little sense. In my adult life I touched some comic books exactly once, when I was asked to hold them for someone wanting to buy stuff at the pharmacy because they were 400 years old or some shit. We busted him for abusing Klonopin. Make of that what you will, man-children.

Fuck Comics and fuck Littlefinger.


Meerkat - 2014-05-29

Why doesn't Bane just cast Fiend's Grip on everyone and Brain Sap them to death?


oddeye - 2014-05-29

He can't cast spells while the mask is on, it won't let him vocalize the incantations correctly.


Binro the Heretic - 2014-05-29

Shit like this is REALLY making me look forward to seeing Affleck as Batman.

I know it will be stupid and fun to watch as opposed to just stupid.


Riskbreaker - 2014-05-29

David Goyer is also writting the script for that one.


Racketeer - 2014-05-29

I'm glad Baneposting is getting more mainstream. This is a big thread.


Aelric - 2014-05-30

I don't really understand why exactly that they gave Bane a goofy, sqeaky clown voice. I think Bane, I think low, a little gravely and South America. Instead it's a Darkwing Duck villain's voice.


oddeye - 2014-05-30

This ain't your daddies comic book Bane!


Jet Bin Fever - 2014-05-30

There were hundreds of things that I hated about this movie. I guess everyone was hoping for another Dark Knight.


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