Oscar Wildcat  - 2014-06-10
1) bulletnados.
2) Mandatory school uniform!
3) Advertizing opportunities on orange facing...
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Azmo23 - 2014-06-10
was definitely expecting an onion article :(
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infinite zest - 2014-06-10
I clicked on this fully believing that it was an Onion video.
Today (June 10th, 2014) marks the 74th school shooting since Sandy Hook, which means there has been on average more than one school shooting per school week since December 14th, 2012.
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Azmo23 - 2014-06-10 hi5! i just used your stat on twatter i hope it's accurate
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Oscar Wildcat - 2014-06-10 I see 47 in the previous span of one year from today; that's a little closer to 1 every 8 days than 7. But yeah, Crap's data set backs up the claim.
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Azmo23 - 2014-06-10 i think using hope in that sentence was an unwise choice of words
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infinite zest - 2014-06-10 http://everytown.org/article/schoolshootings/?source=twno_schoolsh ootings&utm_content=buffer4d6f5&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitt er.com&utm_campaign=buffer
Here's what I'm quoting from (I couldn't craptacular's to load.. bear in mind this also includes College campuses and shootings that did not result in fatalities.)
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Adham Nu'man - 2014-06-10
After catching the first handful or two of victims off guard, there's always that awkward moment where everyone has fled and you're just standing there alone in the middle of an empty school, assault rifle in hand, not knowing what to do or where to go...
With this new revolutionary product, you can just go classroom to classroom, lifting the little blankets: like fish in a barrel.
Truly a revolutionary product.
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spikestoyiu - 2014-06-10 Boy, if only there were a way to shoot somewhere other than this thin sliver of material with my assault rifle!
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Binro the Heretic - 2014-06-10
"Dum-dum"
"Diddle dum-dum"
"Diddle dum-dum"
"Diddle dum-dum"
"There was a turtle by the name of Bert"
"And Bert the turtle was very alert"
"When danger threatened him, he never got hurt"
"He knew just what to do"
"He'd duck...and cover"
"He'd duck...and cover"
"He learned to do what we all must do"
"You and you and you"
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EvilHomer - 2014-06-10
Will they work against bears?
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Quad9Damage - 2014-06-10
Reality moves faster than the Onion. No one wins.
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boner - 2014-06-10
makes me wish i were young again.
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magnesium - 2014-06-10
Thousand bucks each.
Does kevlar not lose its bulletproofiness after the first shot? Wouldn't these be, somewhat ineffective against a semi-automatic rifle and a lot of bullets?
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Miss Henson's 6th grade class - 2014-06-10
From your friends at World Gone Mad, Inc.
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rastarat - 2014-06-10
I thought bullet proof vests only protected against pistol rounds? You'd need ceramic inserts to stop assault rifle rounds..
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Mister Yuck - 2014-06-10 That won't stop whatever company this is from taking money from school districts.
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BorrowedSolution - 2014-06-10
...Frighteningly necessary!
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Jet Bin Fever - 2014-06-16
Well if that's not a sign of the times, I don't know what is.
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