Considering you were drunk you showed remarkable foresight to use the past-tense when you typed "I was drunk when I submitted this" *while* you were actually submitting it.

Well, hel-lo there, Mr. Infinite Sexy Backward Hat. I see we've been holding back.

POETV's answer to Zelig.

You're a Santa Claus doll?

I'm shallow so five stars for you because you were and possibly are still a hot skater punk.

If we ever meet perhaps I'll give you some bubblegum.

W-A-S-T-E-D!

Ha that was my best friend and I; we were walking around Madison half assedly looking for a.. Shit I can't remember what we were doing. I just happened to be wearing an m&ms t shirt that day and we walked past a big semi truck that said "m&ms" and I crossed the street as best I could but they stopped me. Then I was like "whatever.." but I kept fucking up my lines so they cut me out. This must have been the fifth take because I kept saying "what the fuck." Anyway we left and that was that. We just signed some paper.

But then I got a phone call from the Mars corporation asking if I'd join the screen actors guild. I was like "?" but the commercial was chosen to go national and wanted to know where to send our checks. I had just lost my job and was considering dropping out of college because I couldn't afford textbooks much less pay the rent on time. I didn't have tv so I never saw it but I guess it was shown at the Super Bowl, the Oscars, and just all the time. What was great was that I had enough money because of it to finish college and subsequently pay off my student loans. The bad news was I got "you're the m&ms guy" everywhere I went: I was at a Guided by Voices show and Bob Pollard recognized me and asked me if I'd like to join them on stage and I was so embarrassed. Now the commercial is being used at advertising schools as an early example of viral advertising (for context this was at least 3 years before the first YouTube video.)

Funny thing is I found that shirt for like a dollar and was wearing it ironically because I'm a vegan.

Scott Baio?!?

sell out. you used to be cool.

Did they pay you in M&Ms?

Laughed so loud at the last line. Most definitively mushroom talk.

WHO NEEDS DRUGS?

because seriously i have drugs

I was in an M&M's commercial once, too. I'm not proud of what I did. It was on one of those old timey film reels, they had it stored in a backroom closet. I was alone, I was a little drunk, it just look so tight and inviting...

ROUS I used to be an Opera singer, nothing huge because I was a Soprano but I was Miles in Britten's Turn of the Screw and Amhal in Menotti's Operetta of the same name. I was also on a long-forgotten Portland Cable Access call-in Chess Show, and although a lot of it is archived I can't find myself. They were in a punk rock band and needed some sort of "Yankee Doodle Dandy" kid. Kind of introduced me to punk. In high school though I was pretty much a Bassoonist and because of that I got transferred around to whichever school had an orchestra and was never cliquey enough to get any good parts in plays so I gave it up. I'm currently writing a television show (which will more likely be a web show but we can dream.)

Did you ever get an answer to your question?

A wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits.

IZ I saw your east coast doppelganger tonight.