Wait, you don't recognize that first as Bell Biv DeVoe, and then many references later as Cena's music? That's shameful.

Y'all probably know this, but Diamond had a tell-all book about his experiences on the show too. I hadn't thought about it in years but was reading the Huffingpost (forgive me 54evil) and on the side they had something about this in an interview for Gossler and some other guy's new show. They asked Mark Paul Gossler and some other guy who are working on a new show what they thought of Diamond's movie. Morris was very quiet but the other guy just went off, like "fuck that guy.. I worked on the same set and blah blah blah he was an asshole.." Gossler was just silent the whole time..

Believe this or not, but I was drinking at a bar below my work in Milwaukee, and who walks in the bar and sits down three stools away from me? You guessed it. Diamond lives in a town about 45 minutes north of Milwaukee, or at least I think he still does.. anyway the bar erupted. "SCREECH IS HERE! SCREECH IS HERE." He wasn't there for any reason except to get a goddamn drink at the diveyst divebar he could probably think of (which happens to be underground too.) He was incredibly friendly, and happy to sign autographs, to say lines from the show. People bought him drinks and that was that. The entire time NOBODY referred to him as his real name or asked what he was working on (Hamlet ADD, look it up if it ever comes out..) he was just "Screech from saved by the bell." That's gotta sting. Jesse got to work with the GUY WHO DIRECTED ROBOCOP. Slater gets to host some reality tv shows or something. Zach gets to do whatever he's doing. Kelly was on Baywatch I think. Lisa.. I don't know but she wasn't the geeky one.

On the set that must've been a nightmare, and whether or not all the accusations and confessions he makes in the book (or this movie, haven't read the book) are true or not, he was a kid that was fucked with, at least psychologically, like Doogie Houser always being Doogie. I'd be pissed too and I say go Dustin.

54evil allows you to read huffpo, IZ. It's ok. We even have a few of their articles posted. We just don't allow you not to read 54E.

The last time I saw the guy who played screech was in some really fucked up porn video he made. The last time I saw Jessie was in Showgirls. The last time I saw Slater was when I was about to graduate high school and they showed us a video explaining that we needed to sign up for the selective service, starring him.

I've never seen the rest of them since that short lived spinoff show of them in college ended.

Lisa wound up getting plastic surgery and Jocelyn Wildensteined herself. Also she is fucking manic depressive and batshit insane. So at least someone is worse off than Screech.

Zach and Kelly (I can't bother to look up their real names) have both had pretty good careers. Kelly has been on like five different series and has a mansion and married a millionaire or something. I heard her on Stern one time talking about how she was pretty sure Screech was horribly abused by his parents, who pretty much forced him into acting. So she doesn't care about his bullshit tell all book where he made up a bunch of stories to make some dough. Zach is hot so whatever his real name is there will always be work for him. Slater had a promising career but it's kind of slid downhill and he just hosts things on occasion.

Mr. Belding was in a random episode of Mad Men where it was revealed he is now obese. Sad face.

Slater's on Dancing with the Stars, I think, and countless daytime shows (oh the joys knowing things you don't really care about but know anyway) and Jesse's movie was directed by Paul Verhoeven, who also directed Robocop. That'll be one dollar :)

Also Special Agent Dale Cooper was in Showgirls. It's actually a pretty great movie. So I'll buy that for a dollar, not Jesse, just the movie

I think Screech lives or lived in Port Washington, Wisconsin.

I thought I heard somewhere that Diamond renounced the book, saying it was ghost written by someone else who made it up completely and he only let them use his name for the money.

Our family was too poor/cheap to get cable, or anything else other than rabbit ears.

When cartoons ended, Saved by the Bell came on. It was either that, or General Hospital/As the World Turns/All My Children/Guiding Light. We took Saved by the Bell.

It was more a fascination over the fact that it was on.

Also, Zach Morris was technically a god and they never resolved his omnipotence in relation to the rest of his life and how he dealt with it.

I didn't watch it until well into my early 20s as sort of as a joke. My ex and I asked for things on our wedding registry like the Live Whole Rabbit, the Arcade Style Dance Dance Revolution Supernova machine, SBTB box set..

SBTB box set was there at least. Thanks! It's incredibly addictive, kind of like Night Court.

I never watched it cause it's shit and I will straight up cripple Dustin Diamond if I should ever meet him for the shit he pulled with my youngest sister.

I watched everything including Saved by the Bell. I loved all the terrible acting, goofy music, and shitty dancing. And I'm sad I couldn't get a clear clip of the Casey Kasem cameo, because it contained a mix of the goofy music and shitty dancing and it was so gloriously 80s that how could you not cringe, I mean love it?

Wait, what was that? May I ask what Dustin Diamond did with your youngest sister?

I'm already waiting for details back here: http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=16819

At 4:30 every day after school, Batman: The Animated Series would come on and my friend and I would watch it together. At 5, Saved By the Bell would come on. We watched the intro and nothing else, because it was fun to sing IIIIT'S ALLLL RIIIGHT CAUSE I'M SAVED BY THE IIIT'S ALLLL RIIIIGHT CAUSE I'M SAVED BY THE IIIIIIIIIIIT'S ALLLLLL RIIIIIIIIIGHT

CAUSE! I'M SAVED! BY THE BELLL!

This childhood memory was brought to you courtesy of Buzzfeed.

oddeye, I am wondering if this has to do with his scam saying he was going to lose his house so people would donate money to him, when it was all a fabrication. Did your sister donate to that?

I still can't believe he didn't get sued for that.

It was just an awful thing I couldn't get away from as a child. Reruns of it aired after my daily regimen of Nintendo shows or Disney Afternoons. In that regard, Saved by the Bell was like the Soul Train of my Mon-Fri veg-outs, signalling that there were no more cartoons and the fun was over.

Then new episodes aired on Saturday mornings. Or maybe the vanilla series was over and that was New Class, or College Years or California Dreamin or whatever the fuck. My little sister loved all this horseshit. I hated it. I hated the theme song. I hated Zach and Slater. I thought the Very Special caffeine pill addiction episode was hilarious. I wanted to watch cartoons, goddamnit.

In my middle school it was an established fact that it was horrible and you were humiliated for admitting to even partially watching an episode, but we all secretly watched it anyways because it was hypnotizing. A corny train wreck fantasy, crafted by adults, where caffeine pill abuse was the worst thing to ever happen to any of these kids.

IIRC it also came on during an incredibly well plotted time slot where there was nothing else on, but fuck doing anything else than turn off my brain in front of the TV for an hour after school.

She met him while he was doing one of those "College Tours" deals. He autographed something of hers with "You make me hard" My sister was not of age.

He didn't actually interfere with her so I will spare him his pathetic joke of a life but I absolutely would not let this go unanswered should we meet.

You may ask "Why not hunt him down then Dr. Hardcasemurderman?" which is a valid question indeed. Suffice to say that while hobbling a poor joke made flesh is absolutely on my list I have other projects that need more attention. Sorry Dustin Diamond, you are unworthy of my directed malice despite your transgressions. To actively seek and subsequently break such a vile, rancid, blood-streaked shit would simply be a waste. He's already a dead cripple on the inside, after all.

I had thought about about crippling him via anal rape in the rare occasion when crosses my mind but that would be paying him too much attention so I've settled for just a hit and run or drive-by hammering to the spine on a motor bike. Advantage to that is if I need to back up over him again it's less likely to kill him.

I think Diamond just signs things provocatively. A friend of mine went to see him at a college show years ago. Her friend brought up something to sign, and when he asked what she wanted him to write, she left it up to him, and he signed it "Queef". So.

Still, I see oddeye's point here. If Diamond autographed something for an obviously underaged girl in such a manner, then I can only hope that Screech is just completely oblivious to everything around him at any given moment. He gave her that autograph while his head was turned to the left and he was staring into the middle distance, right? Right? Fuck.

I miss Captain Obvious' page. His essay on Dustin Diamond's standup gig was a favorite of mine.