| poeTV | Submit | Login   |

Reddit Digg Stumble Facebook

Help keep poeTV running


And please consider not blocking ads here. They help pay for the server. Pennies at a time. Literally.

Comment count is 42
That guy - 2014-09-26

nope


Gmork - 2014-09-26

nah


John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-09-26

Fuck you


Albuquerque Halsey - 2014-09-26

fuck you fuck you


EvilHomer - 2014-09-26

RIGHT IN THE PLOT!

RIGHT! IN! THE PLOT!


SteamPoweredKleenex - 2014-09-26

I took the plunge. If you decide to not give the first 2-3 minutes a go, you're missing out on the most amazing mental gymnastics regarding the evolution of sexual reproduction, cultural taboos, sex offenders, the normality of sex, etc. His first bit is about how organisms that didn't want to have sex died out, ergo, everything wants to fuck.

Then it's how the ponies actually look human (curves, hair. etc.), not pony-like at ALL. They're like some kind of fertility symbol, which kind of runs counter to his opening argument. That is, organisms that want to fuck cartoon ponies probably aren't going to reproduce. So I kind of hope he's right.


EvilHomer - 2014-09-26

Yeah, the whole thing is rubbish. Every point he tries to make either doesn't tie in with anything else he's said, or is blatantly wrong.


EvilHomer - 2014-09-26

On the other hand, the overall argument (if indeed he even has one) is certainly salvageable; after all, there is nothing more natural than organisms enjoying unnatural sex. It's not even because of evolution, at least not in the positivist, purpose-driven sense he's trying to apply here. Evolution is both dumb and blind, and organisms have an almost limitless capacity for twisting evolutionary adaptions into ways nature'd never dream of (Gould, Panda's Thumb 2) Sex is fun. It gets our brains to release all sorts of pleasure chemicals which encourage us to make babies. But sex is fun! Pleasure chemicals get released regardless of how we're having sex, so we fuck not just vaginas, the way Nature intended, but also hands, butts, feet, mouths, boys, large piles of cheerleaders, socks, fruits, Pringles cans, silicone gel molds, computer paper with pictures of Boxxy printed on them, and G4 pony plushies.

The claim that ponies look human is outright horseshit, however. Ponies do NOT look human. As I have argued before, ponies are actually a neotenous species that conform to the scientifically-established principles of cartoon cuteness (Gould, Mickey Mouse 1). They have no directly analogous species in the real world, but are probably closest to puppies, both in proportion and in mannerisms.


Sources
o faculty.washington.edu/lynnhank/Gould.pdf
o http://faculty.uca.edu/benw/biol4415/papers/Mickey.pdf


Gmork - 2014-09-26

All of the above reasons are why it got 1 star.

Not evil, just bland and worthless.

like the show


Crunchy Frog - 2014-09-26

The whole thing is all sorts of dumb and wrong, which is why I submitted it. How this junk got on the front page of Equestria Daily, the Web's premiere MLP fan site, is beyond me. In my opinion, the answer to "why" varies from one nerd to the next, but in general is either:

a) Because people develop obsessive emotional crushes on the characters and crave intimacy, or
b) Because furries.


Sudan no1 - 2014-09-26

This is classic POE-red style trainwreck of human disgrace.

4:35: "The head is large in proportion to it's body which makes it look very small."

... lol sure. "Small."

Combined with the first half of the video which is all about how he wishes he could talk about sex in front of kids and the small glimpses into his "clawp" collection, this may be the grossest brony video on this site.


StanleyPain - 2014-09-26

I agree that this is classic POE red to a degree, but there was a time when we would be relatively in unison about that. I voted this down in the hopper because, sadly, most of the audience here now gets off on this shit which kinda defeats the intent of even submitting it.


Gmork - 2014-09-26

^Yep.

Go fuck yourself, everyone who 5-starred.


Sudan no1 - 2014-09-26

You're a gunhumper Gmork, you're not one to judge.


EvilHomer - 2014-09-26

All dem faggots and queers, comin' in here and takin' over ahr website, with their *ponies*! AH BLAME OBAMA.

Thank God I still got me some guns. Them pony lovers ain't making me into one of them PREverts, no sir, not over mah dead body.


BHWW - 2014-09-26

Shut the fuck up you tiresome cartoon pony lusting deviant


ashtar. - 2014-09-26

This is why I vote up pony videos. Fight! Gouge each other's eyes out! To the death!


EvilHomer - 2014-09-27

Fighting is not the Pony Way.

Well, it's Rainbow Dash's way, but she is an honorable warrior, like the wise karate master, Mr Miyagi. She would not kill her opponent unless she was given no choice and it was necessary to save her friends.


Gmork - 2014-09-27

The funniest part about all of this is I'm far more level-headed and rational about guns and gun laws than every single other person on this site.

What a wonderfully retarded meme to thrust upon me, especially considering it wasn't even close to reality the first time you tried it.

#keeponderpin


Gmork - 2014-09-27

Not to mention, EvilHomer, you somehow think you can pin the label of homophobe or racist on me when I am the last person in the world that label would apply to.

You're not only barking up the wrong tree, you're on the wrong planet, son.


EvilHomer - 2014-09-27

Yes, you are "the least racist person here".

My comment was directed more towards SP and his contention that pony videos should be opposed on the grounds that "people here like them", which is apparently a threat to our traditional social fabric. Can't have boys watching girl things! They're all pedo-cloppers you see, and left unharassed, they'll recruit more people into their perverted lifestyle.

The only part directed specifically towards you was the gun nut bit, because you are a gun nut.


Gmork - 2014-09-28

I didn't say "least racist person here" I said that your labels are not at all accurate. But you can phrase it in a more stupid fashion if it's more intelligible for you.


Gmork - 2014-09-28

Also: Own zero guns. In favor of gun safety, and gun laws that actually affect criminals rather than nerdy fat enthusiasts who like to go to the range and bump-fire their berettas.

So yeah, total raving gun nut.

Seriously, all this because I pointed out that "assault" rifles are 0.001% of all gun crime and handguns are 99.999%. Yet most of you are in favor of gun laws that mostly affect rifles.

But yeah, you're right, I support the continued existence of guns in a controlled and responsible manner, so obviously i'm a raving gun nut.

#keeponderpin


ashtar. - 2014-09-28

You also have a serious, ugly problem with trans people.
And you own a bunch of guns because you love guns so much why don't you marry guns?


EvilHomer - 2014-09-28

You said, quote, "you somehow think you can pin the label of homophobe or racist on me when I am the last person in the world that label would apply to." That means you believe you are the least racist person *in the world*, let alone this website. So yes, in this particular instance, the "least racist" meme applies to you.

I'd also dispute your claim that you are the user who is most level-headed and rational about guns. You are not, and that, I think, is partly why the "Gmork is a gun nut" meme got started (the other part of it is that you really are a gun nut). When it comes to guns, you will often start off by saying something sensible or reasonable, but then as soon as you meet any resistance, your discourse quickly devolves into personal attacks and megalomaniacal statements, like "I am the most level-headed person here!!!". You rage on everyone, even people who *agree* with you, and THAT, I think, is the mane reason why your gun humping is so notorious here! It is because you are NOT level-headed, and your willingness to hold a rational conversation rarely lasts more than ten seconds.

I do not know who is the most rational and level-headed person about guns on this website. However, of the liberals, that is the pro-gun rights, anti-disarmament crowd, I'd humbly offer myself up for consideration! I am just as in favor of the Second Amendment as you are, but I enjoy a good debate. I try to refrain from personal attacks, I rely as much as possible on facts and confirmable data, and when someone says something to challenge me, I listen. I consider what they have to say, rebut or agree with them as necessary, and ask them to expand upon any interesting points they've made. We may not always wind up agreeing, but I would like to think that I can convince them, or that they could convince me, and so I approach the discussion accordingly. I do NOT go all sarcastic and tell them they are stupid fucktards who are nowhere near as level-headed and rational as I am. Doing that just alienates people, and prevents any of us from learning from one another.

Anyway, you are a very smart person, and a good friend. Please do not take offense to any of this. You just need to work on being a bit more sensitive and reigning in your temper.



P.S. Am I right in assuming you have finally settled on your favorite pony? You keep mentioning Derpy! That's great, Derpy is a cool pony. We need more Derpaholics here.


TimidAres - 2014-09-26

This guy wants to talk about sex in front of kids?
Also, hes comparing pony sex imagery to cellular mitosis?
What the hell.


Simillion - 2014-09-26

the preview image alone is evil, five stars.


Xenocide - 2014-09-26

"NON-EXPLICIT?" Zero stars!

MLP ponies come in a variety of colors and their hooves are squishy. If that doesn't make your cock explode then you must not understand evolution.


John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-09-26

I haven't actually watched it. I voted for it and starred it because, well, like I said, fuck you.

Also, why not? It seems weird to jerk off to cartoon ponies, but when you think about it, there's about a hundred and fifty thousand more disturbing things to jerk off to. Upskirt porn, Kagome and Sailor Moon (underage anime characters), hacked celebrity nudes, gloryhole porn (which is what I'm into, not proud of that), "creampie surprise", "cuckold" porn in which white wives are fucked by black guys while the white husbands watch, Japanese rape porn, any Italian movie with the word "Holocaust" in the title... I could go on and on and on.

While I have never clopped, cartoon ponies have always seemed sexier to me since I googled the actresses who do the voices. They're all stunning. Tara Strong? jesus. She looks so... strong!


EvilHomer - 2014-09-26

Yeah, Tara Strong is stunning! You'd probably liker her social media work too, John: she's a feminist icon, an internet celebrity, and an anti-bullying activist. Those seem to be three of your things.


Xenocide - 2014-09-26

Tara Strong also played Bubbles on Powerpuff Girls. Bubbles is five years old. You're going to jail.


infinite zest - 2014-09-26

Since I'm just 5 starring it, favoriting, and staying out of this whole thing, have you seen the documentary I Know That Voice? I just watched it the other night. I downloaded it but I think it's avail on netflix. :)


EvilHomer - 2014-09-26

Bubbles is five in *human* years. But see it's totally cool, because in cartoon years, she's six.


SteamPoweredKleenex - 2014-09-26

Have there been many cartoon voice readings from comic conventions posted here? Emerald City and San Diego have had some pretty incredible assemblies of voice acting guests that then do something off-the-wall, like doing a version of the Star Wars radio drama with Kevin "Batman" Conroy narrating and Mark Hamill as Darth Vader or something.


infinite zest - 2014-09-27

I only recall one, with Maurice LaMarche and.. uhh.. the voice of Pinky (I deliberately didn't look this up to prove a point.) My mind was blown when I realized that Bender and Jake are the same voice and that Tom Kinney (who I only knew from Mr. Show) was not just Spongebob, but like everything. And yes, that Tara Strong is really attractive. I'd say post away, as the one I mentioned above was great, even though I never really watched Animaniacs.

It's weird that this argument creates a bigger rift than Israel and Palestine on this site. I don't even know the names of all the main ponies, but I like the animation, it's clever writing, the songs are great, and it's spawned a really interesting subculture. TMNT fans can bitch and moan about how the comic books were pretty much R-rated material as opposed to whatever we have these days (or since the mid 80s) until the cows come home, but what if it was a reboot of the "boys" show like GI Joe, done very tongue-in-cheek, making you sort of forget about the Michael Bay-ness of those newish movies? I won't lie, I remember MLP as something my male friends with sisters would play with, often ending up melting on the BBQ grill as revenge for something they did to the GI Joes, something like that. I also remember Teen Titans as being primarily anti-drug PSAs, whereas the new series shares a lot with MLP in that it's a reboot, and while drugs aren't required, the mythology's taken a life of its own. I was at a "purple party" the other night (wear something purple) and someone was dressed like Raven, from TTG, also voiced by Strong, and I think I was the only one who got the reference. Thing is, there's several episodes that showcase Raven's love for Ponies (can't remember what they're called) so basically the whole thing's self-aware. I guess I turned out not staying out of this whole thing after all. I drew a pretty good Rainbow Dash lookalike covered in blood for a friend's band poster, so that's sort of where I stand on the argument. But everyone should chill the fuck out. It's a good show.


EvilHomer - 2014-09-27

>>I drew a pretty good Rainbow Dash lookalike covered in blood for a friend's band poster,

That sounds like a lot of fun! You should get a picture of it and post it on DA.


John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-09-27

>>Yeah, Tara Strong is stunning! You'd probably like her social media work too, John: she's a feminist icon, an internet celebrity, and an anti-bullying activist. Those seem to be three of your things.

If you include "stunning", that's four.


That guy - 2014-09-28

StanleyPain was right


Xenocide - 2014-09-26

"Non-explicit?" ZERO STARS.


Xenocide - 2014-09-26

I'm not sure how the hell that happened but it's the most amusing double-post I could have possibly hoped for. Good work, Pony Satan.


Caminante Nocturno - 2014-09-29

Every aspect of human evolution over its entire existence as a concept has been leading up to pictures of Rainbow Dash an Applejack groping each other in a barn.


casualcollapse - 2020-06-21

Half of the video, half of the dumpster fire in the comments


Register or login To Post a Comment







Video content copyright the respective clip/station owners please see hosting site for more information.
Privacy Statement