He needs a cape and also to be a minotaur.

Honestly, baleen. Are you one of those always-sunshine marketing types? It's not a great idea. It's a one-note joke with sloppy execution.

Monopoly is essentially a game that is played during prolonged power outages. The game is over when the lights come back on.

Also never take advice from a man in an ill-fitting suit.

A lot of the shitty experiences of Monopoly come from the fact that almost no one plays it right. Nobody gets anything for landing on Free Parking, and not buying a property you land on means it goes up for public auction. That puts a lot more strategy behind it.

But really, it's all about grabbing up the railroads and orange properties.

The rules of a game are defined by social agreement. You can generally persuade people to accept auctions since they are described explicitly in the rules that accompany the board. Housing shortages are a much harder sell since they are a total dick move and, AFAIK, essentially inferred in retrospect through a quasi-Biblical style of interpretation of poorly defined Monopoly rules. You might win the Monopoly game, but your friends will see you as an utter twat.

Fortunately, the utility of any of this advice is predicated on you getting multiple human beings to agree to play a game of Monopoly in the 21st century, which is so far-fetched as to be laughable, unless you're already a Monopoly nerd, in which case, you already know this crap and more.

Spice up your Monopoly games with my custom set of rules! Landing on Free Parking doubles your money! Landing on any other space makes you instantly bankrupt! An average game is two minutes long!

Now that you're done with Monopoly, go play another board game. I recommend Settlers of Catan (Star Trek edition) Clue (The Big Bang Theory edition) or The Game of Life (My Little Pony edition) all of which exist.

OH MY GOD YOU CAN BE DERPY!!!!!!!

http://laughingsquid.com/a-my-little-pony-edition-of-the-class ic-board-game-the-game-of-life/

This was *clearly* made with dorks in mind. Derpy, Vinyl Scratch, and Dr Whooves?! It's just too bad they added Twilicorn and not one of the actually good members of the Mane Six; my guess is that they either included her to troll the fans, or to try and broaden the product's appeal for My Little Poseurs.

My great grandmother would hoard thousands underneath the gameboard that would be revealed when you thought you had her on the ropes.


That is how you play Monopoly.