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Comment count is 54
infinite zest - 2015-02-21

It's funny.. with all McDonalds has been doing to appease animal rights activists and advocates of healthy in general, like replacing french fries in Happy Meals with apple slices (?) and those Kiosks where you can ask questions and such, the best commercial was one that was on during some football game. Quick synopsis? The commercial was "This is the Big Mac. If you're a vegetarian and you like Kale then don't order it." Actually the commercial wasn't that much longer than that sentence. I think they pulled it because it offended us vegans, but I rather liked the sentiment. I'd still prefer a Kale and Fennel salad personally, but I also like truth in advertising.


Old_Zircon - 2015-02-21

Nerd.


Gmork - 2015-02-22

Kale and fennel. Burn in fucking hell.


infinite zest - 2015-02-22

I'd prefer Kale and Fennel over a Big Mac, not over a soyrizo burrito.. mmm.. soyrizo tastes like spicy meat-substitute pop rocks. I also thought McDonalds was kind of cool with that "everything is free day" as long as you did something nice, like complimented someone in the store or gave them a hug or something. Sure it was a marketing thing, but I think everyone needed some cheering up. Compare that to Denny's attempt at the same thing where it was just free and fights broke out all over the country and there were a couple shootings.


EvilHomer - 2015-02-23

The Kale Satan is my favorite head-canon Bob's Burger of the Day. I imagine it comes with Kale and Devil Pepper.


SolRo - 2015-02-21

The best tasting burger is still one with plenty of lettuce/tomato/onion on it, without a ton of sauces, and bacon.

All other burgers are meat mush swimming in sauces and cheese.


Lef - 2015-02-21

Mostly agree. Cheese is a great add-on.

Poll: What's the best fast food burger chain?

My picks:
- In N Out, simple, fresh, tasty
- Carl's Jr, a far second


Unmerciful Crushing Force - 2015-02-21

In-and-Out definitely.
Carl's Jr has the Bacon Western and I love it (Their advertising is also pretty much how this ad goes) but pound for pound I go for Burger King.

Spain here also has a local burger place called Pinky Burger which I think is quite nice in that the meat tastes like actual meat and it's stuffed with fresh veg. Also costs way cheaper than a McDonald's quarter pounder set.


baleen - 2015-02-21

Carl's Jr. "Six Dollar Guacamole Bacon Burger" contains 1,120 calories. Jesus.


memedumpster - 2015-02-21

Dizzy Whiz, home of the Whizzburger.


fluffy - 2015-02-21

Any local chain named Dick's, based on any of the local chains I've been to named Dick's (which admittedly is a sample size of two, Seattle and Las Cruces, NM, and technically the Las Cruces ones are restaurants, not fast food).

In N Out is decent but I don't get why the ones in San Francisco have lines out the fucking door (and around the block for the drive-through). I guess there's tourist value or something? The ones outside of SF don't have that problem, probably because people realize it's just a fucking hamburger.

McDonald's basic burgers actually aren't that terrible (as far as quick fungible units of beef-based snack/micromeals go), and I like them better than Carl's Jr's, but their other stuff is garbage.

Wendy's burgers are shit but their chicken is decent. Or I remember it being decent.

Oh, and Blake's Lotaburger (as seen in many early episodes of Breaking Bad) is pretty good. If you ever find yourself in Albuquerque, go there and get a green chili cheeseburger.


SolRo - 2015-02-22

I'm honestly confounded about how carls jr manages to make their burgers to high on calories.


Jack in the box has a bacon/cheese/BUTTER burger and its still only around 800 calories.


Unmerciful Crushing Force - 2015-02-22

Oh and I can't believe that for pure decadance, Tommy's Chili Burger is amazing. Love that thing so much and it's even rarer than In-and-Out.


Nominal - 2015-02-22

Fluffy we have the exact same tastes. In N' Out was okay but I don't see the hype other than tourist value, which makes them the burger equivalent of Pink's hotdogs.

Wendy burgers are greasy SHIT and their prices are high. Why the fuck does anyone eat there?

The best burgers I've ever had are at this local pub called Harvard Gardens. Kobe Beef Sliders with quail eggs and butter that gushes out like a sponge when you bite into them. Mmmm.....


infinite zest - 2015-02-22

My favorite's Burgerville, but besides you SW Washington kids it's pretty much localized in Oregon. The one by my old house have free punk rock shows all the time. It's like the punk rock Mac and Me. They also make a delicious veggie burger. As far as bigger chains, I was impressed by Hardee's and still miss the shit out of Arctic Circles' fry sauce, even though I probably can't eat it. Delicious like mayonnaise in the sun.


John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-02-22

Burger King for burgers, McDonalds for breakfast and lattes.


SteamPoweredKleenex - 2015-02-22

@SolRo: Yeah, when I saw the calories on their Thickburgers, I started avoiding Carl's Jr. Don't get me wrong, I'll throw down on some unhealthy stuff, but it needs to be worth it, and Carl's (or Hardee's, in some places) doesn't cut it.

It's kind of like Arby's fries. The last time I checked, they had the highest calorie fries of most major chains, which seemed odd to me since they don't taste all that great compared to others.


infinite zest - 2015-02-22

Actually, there IS a Burgerville in Centralia, Washington now, which isn't too far from Seattle/Tacoma. I wouldn't say it's worth going out of your way for (In-n-Out isn't either) but it's there. Their sweet potato fries are the best fries I've ever had. What's also cool is that they print all the nutrition facts on your receipt. I don't know if other places do that too, but it's nice. Like, I wouldn't be shocked if I ordered a burger and it was 1000 calories, but I'd probably consider the fact that I didn't have to eat the whole thing right then if I had already purchased that. If I'm in line or looking at the nutrition facts and it says even 600-odd calories, I'm automatically thinking with that mentality.

Ironically Burgerville's Asian Kale Salad has the 2nd highest calorie count on the menu at 680, outdoing all but one of the burgers on the menu.


EvilHomer - 2015-02-22

I've got a few go-to places. My favorite burger is a nice steamed ham from Ted's Restaurant, which I rarely have a chance to get these days. Their steamed hams are delicious, and the locally-sourced cheddar they use is exquisite; while there are other wannabe Ted's in the area (such as K LaMay's and Zippy the Pinhead's favorite, O'Rourke's), Ted is still the king IMO. A bit closer to home, Louis' Lunch is also quite good! The philosophy behind a Louis burger is completely different from a Ted's, and the atmosphere is a teeeensy bit pretentious (Yalee hamburger hipsters ahoy), but the reputation of their meat is well deserved! SolRo, you might enjoy Louis' Lunch, if you ever wind up near Yale for whatever reason: they forbid even the mention of condiments beyond lettuce and tomato slices. Seriously, they don't even offer ketchup, and will get rude if you inquire about its absence.

I rarely get a chance to eat at chains nowadays, mostly because, on those few occasions that I "go out for burgers" with my friends, it's usually to one of their beloved "beer and burger" microbrew taverns, like Prime 16 or Hops, or else to a place that has better options than burgers, like KnuckleHeads Taproom in Wallyworld (their pig wings are fucking NUTS). However, so far as chain burgers are concerned, I'd probably vote for Duchess, a CT chain that is mostly confined to Fairfield county; their patties are substantial and their toppings, generous. A lot of my friends swear on Five Guys, but I'm actually not too big on their work; Five Guys burgers are not terrible, but don't really justify their price in dollars or in calories.


Gmork - 2015-02-22

Yuck. Tomatoes on a burger. Tomatoes in general that aren't in italian sauce form are major yuck. Will never understand how people put salt on it and eat them plain.


EvilHomer - 2015-02-22

^ Sorry, onion, not lettuce. Lettuce is one of their banned substances.

As for you, Gmork, look at this

http://youtu.be/l5JATjl70dI?t=14s

Look at the juices flowing out of that. Nevermind that Louis' made the first hamburgers in the United States, nevermind that you've got some irrational fear of tomatoes. Does that not look like a delicious fucking burger?


Scrimmjob - 2015-02-22

Restaurant tomatoes are almost always gross forcibly ripened mush. Tomatoes from a garden are awesome, and I prefer to eat them like apples.

As far as favorite fast food burger goes, I'll have to go with plain ass cheeseburger from McD's, basically the only thing I like there.


infinite zest - 2015-02-22

Hell yeah Ted's! When I'd visit my brother at Yale we'd go there. I can't believe the one place I really wanted to go was such a letdown (Mystic Pizza). If Big Lebowski had a lot to do with the popularity of In-n-Out, that was Mystic Pizza for me. Whatever I like that movie. But god the pizza was horrible.


EvilHomer - 2015-02-22

Mystic Pizza is pretty crap. If you're looking for pizza in this area, Pepe's and Sally's are the best, but really, there are so many good local mom & pop places that any neighborhood you go to is bound to have a pizza restaurant worth eating at.

My favorite thing at Ted's is a Double Cheese with extra cheese - i.e. three slabs of steamed cheddar on a bun. Fried onions and a dab of condiments on top, uuuhhkkkggllll so good. It makes you feel sick afterwards, but as long as you're not eating it more than once a month, you should be OK! They're also far more laid back and friendly than the dudes at Louis, and you can recite the Principle Skinner scene on the way back to your car. Mmmm, steamed hams!


infinite zest - 2015-02-22

Louis always had a line, no matter what, kinda like Pepe's. My brother was graduating so my parents were paying, and the wait was at least 2 hours. There's a pizza place out here that's like that called Apizza Scholls: they don't take reservations and there's always a line, and when they run out of dough, well, go somewhere else we're closed. Thanks for waiting an hour in the rain for nothing. Another small but expanding burger place that's good is Little Big Burger if you're ever in Portland. It's more like Whitecastle in terms of size. 4 bucks is a bit pricy, but two of those is still a good deal in terms of ingredients and fast service. But overall the best burger in the world is from Late's in Manitowoc Wisconsin. I wasn't veggie at the time and ate the shit out of it. I also liked the fact that their marquee said "After 50 years of requests, we now have onions."


cognitivedissonance - 2015-02-22

Centralia.
















Please ignore my high school diploma.


infinite zest - 2015-02-22

I remember their high school had a really good swim team.


fluffy - 2015-02-22

If we're expanding our gushing to non-fast-food burgers, then in Seattle I have to also recommend 8oz Burger Bar (which I live across the alley from, SO DANGEROUS), Blue Moon, and Li'l Woody's.


Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-02-23

I hate any restaurant that serves one thing and tells you to fuck off if you don't want their one thing. Anyone who says In-N-Out is their favorite burger is a liar trying to establish some bizarre hamburger elitist street cred. I live down the street from an In-N-Out, a Five Guys, and a Fatburger. And you know what? It's all the same. Because they're burgers. Stop pretending as if their cardboard fries and limited selection magically improves the quality of their patties. There is literally no way to make a burger more than a burger if you're ideologically fixated on the idea that the only ingredients worth including are things that were around in the 1950's. It's so bizarrely conservative and self-limiting, and people love it for no reason.

If you eat at In-N-Out, you are a cheeseburger Republican. There. I said it.


EvilHomer - 2015-02-23

http://tinyurl.com/louislunchsign

So what's YOUR burger of choice, Mr "I'm too cool to eat an In-N-Out Burger"? If you cannot tell the difference between one burger and the next, is this because you are a cheeseburger Unitarian, or because you are an unrepentant McDonald's fanboy?


infinite zest - 2015-02-23

I love how all of these comments have nothing to do with P&R. POE should start a Yelp-esque site!

I missed Whizzburger at the top. I vaguely remember a Whiz Burger out here..

http://tinyurl.com/qb875m7

I wonder if they were connected, or if it was something of a "Hungry Jack's" scenario in Australia (there was a Burger King Restaurant before Burger King entered Australia, so BK was just like "OK Hungry Jacks" for some reason.)

Most people say the best burger here is The Victory's Venison Burger:

http://thevictorybar.com/pictures.html

but I disagree, and also the owner's an asshole.


infinite zest - 2015-02-23

Oops meant to link to the menu. Guy's a prick. Used to live next door to me. Got my old house evicted and fired my best friend. Fuck that guy.


EvilHomer - 2015-02-23

Judging by those pictures, that looks to be one seditious burger joint! I don't trust any place that refuses to put prices on its menu, however, no matter how gastropubby its affectations.


infinite zest - 2015-02-23

I think I still have the menu prices memorized. The venison burger's still 5 bucks during happy hour. Back in the day it was great. Really reminded me of little east coast bars and was my go-to spot. The owners were rad and I like to think that I singlehandedly brought in a lot of business just by word of mouth, which is probably why my ex and I could go there and get 4 beers and 4 manhattans for a total of 10 dollars.

But after I split with her, it just didn't feel right going in there alone. So after a year or so I became less familiar with the place.. I guess the owner fired the co-owner by changing the locks in the middle of the night, and every time I run into friends who worked there, it's just more horror stories. He didn't single-handedly get us evicted.. basically a couple of my housemates thought it'd be a good idea to eat LSD and set up a KV2 soundsystem in the front lawn at 4 in the morning and start doing EDM, but the guy's a prick. If you're curious, check out the Yelp page for the Victory starting around page 2. His responses to negative reviews are hilarious. But he's still an asshole.


infinite zest - 2015-02-23

er.. sorry, just sort it by rating starting from the lowest. Still makes me laugh.


Hooker - 2015-02-21

I've never watched this show because it seem so bland every time a clip winds up here. Does everything come together well or do the clips represent the show well?


Nominal - 2015-02-22

There are worse shows to waste time on but I could never really get into it. It always came across like it was made by the B team of people who weren't good enough to write for The Office.


Nominal - 2015-02-22

and that's AFTER giving it leeway for my massive crush on Upright Citizen's Brigade era Amy P.


infinite zest - 2015-02-22

I'm on the same page Hooker. But then again I never liked arrested development, which still pisses off nearly everyone I know.


bluebeetle - 2015-02-22

I like it in that it feeds the same desire for character driven comedy that King of the Hill did.


John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-02-22

I've started getting into Parks and rec only recently, because it's something my friend and I can agree on, and because all 139 episodes are available on Hulu Plus. Before that, I thought it was an okay show, but nothing I'd go out of my way to watch. It can be pretty funny, but it's not about jokes; it's about characters and relationships, and that's not going to come across in a clip, or even in an episode. I've been watching it intermittently all along, and now I see that there's so much more going on than I was ever aware of.

This is a show that will reward an investment of time and attention, but there are already way too many of those. I'm fully aware that if I made the effort, I would really enjoy Game of Thrones, but I choose to pass up that experience. I wouldn't presume to tell anyone that they shouldn't pass up Parks and Recreation.


Nominal - 2015-02-22

IZ, sometimes I think you're my hipster doppelganger. I never liked Arrested Development either. It's better than any given sitcom but I would still never choose to watch it. My problem isn't even with the show but the fans who will...not...shut...up about how it's the most brilliant show ever and how much smarter they are than all the stupid people who don't watch it. To this very day, I have yet to meet a single fan who doesn't lose their shit when I say I couldn't get into it.

Their first reaction is denial.
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?"


Then bargaining
"You just didn't see the right episodes. You have to watch the WHOLE THING in order to truly appreciate it."

Depression
"But it's THE GREATEST SHOW EVER! How could anyone not like it?"

(Passive aggressive) Acceptance
"Well okay. I guess the show is just too smart for some people."


I never bought into the "you have to watch the whole thing to appreciate the characters and relationships" argument. It's what everyone told me about Arrested Development and Lost. I've seen 3 random episodes of AD (including the pilot) and shrugged at all of them. Isn't that a fair sample size? I get more enjoyment out of any 5 minutes of Community than the total of those 3 AD episodes. I'd even say Parks & Rec was a funnier show.

What jokes do you miss for not understanding the long term complex characters? Tobias is a delusional failed actor, I get it.

A good show sucks you in no matter where you start (my first Twin Peaks experience was the fifth episode and it made me want to go back to the beginning). What JHMF describes is Stockholm Syndrome.

I will admit that Arrested Development was a milestone. It was one of the first half hour (prime time?) comedy shows and marked the breakaway from the traditional sitcom format, and the exodus of good writing from the movie to television industry. You can give it props for that, but Sopranos did the same thing premium channel dramas but it aged pretty poorly and you can't claim it's better than modern offerings like Boardwalk Empire.


infinite zest - 2015-02-22

I've probably seen every episode of it. I used to have a housemate that worked graveyard so he'd be getting home when I was getting up, put on an episode of AD and promptly pass out. Even though he was asleep I still thought it'd be rude to change it to something else on Netflix.. anyway he liked it because he liked David Cross, which is kind of like liking Brothers Solomon because it's god Will Arnett and Will Forte and directed by Bob Odenkirk, all talented people. Cross (and Arnett) are great in Todd Margaret, and Odenkirk, well, Better Call Saul is awesome, but just because of a name I'm not going to rake through the bullshit. Also I really don't like Michael Cera.


Gmork - 2015-02-22

Way better than the office.


Gmork - 2015-02-22

Your opinions are all so fucking terrible.


Nominal - 2015-02-23

Didn't you just go off on Sudan for shitting on people's movie opinions?


EvilHomer - 2015-02-23

Sopranos aged fine. The first season sucked balls and is barely watchable today, but later seasons are perfectly adequate!

Granted, TV peaked with "Borgia: Faith and Fear", and it's all downhill from here on out. But we can still enjoy older shows.


Hooker - 2015-02-23

I didn't care for Arrested Development until I gave it some time and it grew on me. It's a fantastic show, but hardly the best one ever, and I completely understand not caring for it. I really think it's a show that doesn't try to hook the audience with every minute - it takes its time with things and lets them grow out naturally. That results in some pretty slow builds and a lot of time spent just setting things up, but once the payoffs start coming and you get invested in the characters (Tobias is awful and ignorable), it really does turn into a wonderful show.

If you were going to give it another shot, the chicken dance episode or the one where George Bluth Sr. teaches his kids lessons by scaring them are probably the best for self-contained jokes.


Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-02-23

The first season is notoriously weak, but around the end of Season 1/beginning of Season 2 it starts to find its footing and becomes almost as funny as vintage Office.


chairsforcheap - 2015-02-22

RIP Harris Wittels


gravelstudios - 2015-02-22

Needs a Hardee's tag for those of us who live on the east coast.


Bort - 2015-02-22

Around here we've got a Fatheads and it reminds me way too much of Paunch Burger. I almost literally can't eat there because everything on the menu is oversized and overly laden with "delicious" grease. They are pretty openly contemptuous of food that won't slowly kill you.

http://www.fatheads.com/

That said, I admit P&R taught me that the best burger uses pizza for a bun. Try it sometime; Ellio's cheese pizza works fine (cut one of their pizza rectangles into two squares), and use whatever grade of beef you like best.


John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-02-22

>>I've seen 3 random episodes of AD (including the pilot) and shrugged at all of them. Isn't that a fair sample size?

Sure it is. It's like software. Maybe it's my fault that I can't master Yaddabuntu. Maybe it's Yaddabuntu's fault. It doesn't matter whose fault it is, because Yaddabuntu is the one that's going to have to go. I'm staying.

>>A good show sucks you in no matter where you start (my first Twin Peaks experience was the fifth episode and it made me want to go back to the beginning).

That's not the only definition of a good show.

>>What JHMF describes is Stockholm Syndrome.

It's true about nearly everything, even things that I don't like, that understanding it leads to appreciating it. Like I said, I didn't appreciate parks and recreation for six years. I came to love it after watching a lot of it, because my friend likes it.

>>Tobias is a delusional failed actor, I get it.

Based on this, you get about 40 per cent of it. But who cares? It's not important that you appreciate Tobias, he's a wonderful character, but there are plenty of other wonderful creations to enjoy.

I gotta go.



>>Tobias is a delusional failed actor, I get it.

Looks like you get about 40 percent of Tobias, but so what?


Caminante Nocturno - 2015-02-23

Learn how to use the reply button, you little JERK!!


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