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Desc:Combat-ready sunglasses, for the next time you take your Blade cosplay too far.
Category:Fashion, Short Films
Tags:sunglasses, cold steel, Brooklyn Whopper
Submitted:Caminante Nocturno
Date:04/02/15
Views:1473
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Comment count is 41
chumbucket - 2015-04-02
I think all of these should have been "to the face".
EvilHomer - 2015-04-02
Hey Caminante, seeing as the Hopper Republicans have squashed it faster than affordable Hopper healthcare, what did you think of Apple Bloomers?

I was never much of a fan of 3 (2.5?) on the Shepherd0821 Human-to-Pony Scale, but I think I "get it" now.

Also, that guy Atryl, I don't know if Apple Bloomers is his original creation (all his Apple Bloomers digital paintings indicate that they were done on commissions), but damn he's good. I really like his use of lighting, and the way he designed シルバースプーン Silver Spoon. I wonder if her Spoon-Glaive would stand up to the rigorous testing standards of Cold Steel? I bet it would.
Gmork - 2015-04-02
Stop trying to involve your equine sex obsession in every post you make. It's cringeworthy.

Gmork - 2015-04-02
my fetish is utterly ridiculous but you dont hear me going on about it unless its video-relevant!

Caminante Nocturno - 2015-04-02
If you can't understand the connection between ponies and combat sunglasses, then there's something wrong with you.

Old_Zircon - 2015-04-02
Am I the only one left without some kind of ridiculous fetish? I feel so 20th century.

oddeye - 2015-04-02
prety soon vanilla missionary sex will be considered a fetish due to it's rarity

Caminante Nocturno - 2015-04-02
There are already plenty of people with a Rarity fetish.

EvilHomer - 2015-04-02
Actually, Gmork, it's totally relevant. Read what I wrote again. I asked if Silver Spoon's Spoon-Glaive would stand up to the Cold Steel tests.

What do you think? Weapons are your ridiculous fetish; you'd probably have some valid input on that matter.

Caminante Nocturno - 2015-04-02
If over-the-top weapons are your fetish, you should consider watching Nanoha and Dog Days.

EvilHomer - 2015-04-02
They clearly are, otherwise, he wouldn't have one-starred this submission for mocking his fetish.

oddeye - 2015-04-02
If I had to fuck a pony I'd totally put Applejack in a chokehold and go brokeback mountain on her virgin horse vagina.


Only if I had to of course

EvilHomer - 2015-04-02
Wouldn't the term "brokeback mountain" imply cowboy sodomy? One would "go brokeback mountain" on Big Mac or Gaeburn, not Applejack, surely?

Or do you mean brokeback mountain as in that scene at the end, where the normie cowboys beat Donnie Darko to death?

Caminante Nocturno - 2015-04-02
Dude, spoilers! I haven't seen that episode of MLP yet!

EvilHomer - 2015-04-02
No, it's a movie from like ten years ago. A human movie.

Sorry about the spoilers.

Cena_mark - 2015-04-02
Not cool oddeye. You don't go talking about my favorite pony like that. Nobody or no pony sexually assaults Applejack.

oddeye - 2015-04-02
isn't she a cowgirl? Besides, she would totally be into it.

Caminante Nocturno - 2015-04-02
This is going to sound sexist and racist, but if she tries to buck you off of her, that probably means she's into it.

EvilHomer - 2015-04-03
No, she's a farmgirl, you dork. And Brokeback was famously gay, not famously cowperson. If you want some descriptive imagery for buggering Applejack, you should try something like, I dunno, "go Billy Ray Cyrus on her", which would work because Ashleigh Ball based AJ's voice on Miley, and also AJ REALLY loves her family.

oddeye - 2015-04-03
Farmgirls are cowgirls more or less, right? Also I have no idea what this Cyrus stuff is or what you mean by REALLY loving her family.

Chokehold to brokeback assfuckery is my half mashup of Iron Sheik's camel clutch backbreak to humbling anal rape.

EvilHomer - 2015-04-03
Well, *assfuckery* would make sense, but you specifically said you were going to brokeback *on her vagina*! You're changing your story. Is this a troll. Are you trolling me?

Miley and Billy Ray is a reference to the Miley Cyrus incest scandal. Miley is one of the most high profile pro-incest celebrities, right up there with Brooke Hogan.

You've got Miley in your country, right? If not, Hollywood's pretty much done with her - the sacrifice is over, the fertility ritual complete - so she'll probably be over there soon.

Cena_mark - 2015-04-03
Applejack is a dignified lady. She just wouldn't go that way.

EvilHomer - 2015-04-03
She only acts dignified when she's trying to get with Trenderhoof.

Ghoul - 2015-04-02
Lenses won't shatter! Lenses won't crack! Even if you're hit in the face with a war hammer.

You'll be dead, but you're sunglasses will still look FRESH.
EvilHomer - 2015-04-02
They say the lenses won't shatter or crack, but those lenses look pretty shattered and cracked to me. The only weapon that doesn't leave the lenses functionally ruined are the fists, and I don't have to worry about fists, because nobody ever hits a guy with glasses.

Raggamuffin - 2015-04-02
When it happens...I won't even notice. I'll be too busy lookin' good.

(⌐■_■)

M-DEEM - 2015-04-02
Don't shattering cinder blocks absorb a lot of shock?
Cena_mark - 2015-04-02
Yes, but these are still impressive sun glasses. All bouncers should wear these.

Old_Zircon - 2015-04-02
Respect to Cold Steel for thoroughly understanding their core demographic.
Old_Zircon - 2015-04-02
This isn't that big a deal, though, regular composite prescription lenses have been able to stop bullets* for decades. At least according to all of the posters up at the optometrist's office in middle school showing photos of .38 slugs being stopped by mid priced composite lenses.



*disregarding the part where the lens gets forged out of the frame, through your eye and into your skull. BUT WITHOUT SHATTERING.

TheOtherCapnS - 2015-04-02
This is all well and good, but where are the shots of the sunglasses being used to cut a boot of meat? Or why didn't they launch the sunglasses into a side of beef? Cold steel demo guys are slipping...
glasseye - 2015-04-03
I was thinking the same thing. Can this really be a COLD STEEL (TM) product with the BOOT FULL OF MEAT (TM)?

deadpan - 2015-04-02
300 LB KNEE DROP
oddeye - 2015-04-02
I'd like combat fat-man shorts next. Maybe reinforcement in the crotch and the ass to prevent splitting when doing a lame ass impromptu sword dance in public or something
Caminante Nocturno - 2015-04-02
combat sandals with tactical socks.

rastarat - 2015-04-02
I was expecting a hidden blade/ability to make these into a weapon ala sword cane.
deadpan - 2015-04-02
Any assailant who sees your sunglasses are unharmed after you've taken a war hammer to the face will surely flee in terror.

Simillion - 2015-04-02
Great, so I'll be totally fucked and dead, but my shades will be intact, and some 300 lb asshole will take them from my corpse.
Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2017-04-02
I loled!

Jet Bin Fever - 2015-04-02
No more fear of horrible hammer to the eye injuries.
Crab Mentality - 2015-04-03
Wait, hold on- None of the cold steel weapons will damage these glasses?! I need better cold steel weapons!
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