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Comment count is 5
ashtar. - 2015-04-09

I had an old legally blind guy who was severely and noisily constipated above me. His bathroom was right above my bedroom, so I had a pretty good idea of how regular he was based on the ten minutes of grunting and straining that preceded a flush. Sometimes he'd break out singing songs from the Wizard of Oz in the middle of a session.

He lost his glasses once and asked me to look for them; I searched his could-only-be-cleaned-with-fire apartment for a long time, but only found a number of randomly scattered erotic trading cards from the 1980s.

The people above me now just drink and yell and have loud sex.


Bus_Aint_Comin - 2015-04-10

i WISH i had a better collection of vintage eroticards :(


BHWW - 2015-04-10

I've had terrible neighbors, upstairs, downstairs, next door, across the street, down the street, and elsewhere.

I apologize in advance for posting the following novella-length comment but amongst the absolute worst weren't technically my neighbors, but the former neighbors of a old GF of mine. As it turned out, every other Saturday night they'd have a huge party. Disgustingly huge parties; the entire neighborhood would be lined on both sides of the road with cars, easily three hundred, four hundred people in attendance. People tried to park on the lawn of my GF's house, and when she we went out and told them they couldn't, they offered her money, which she turned down because parking on the lawn violated the lease. There were two houses next door that shared their backyards for these events, which were advertised online on a Myspace page (since this was around 2005 and all) and elsewhere.
Now these parties did not start at the usual sort of party time, like 9 or 10 pm. Oh these parties would start at like 2 in the morning! Not only that, but it included boxing matches, live music, and kegs kegs kegs, all for the low cover charge of ! Also, feel free to park in the neighbors' driveways!

It was fun for my GF, her roomie, myself or anyone else who was at her house to call tow trucks on jerks who parked in the driveway or boxed our cars in. What was not fun was how many times she called the police only to have them not come, or just show up and ask them to "keep it down," with no effect. We ended up finding out that one of the guys that lived there worked for the local PD as did a few members of his family, which explained that.

So when the police route didn't work and we were kept up yet another Saturday night until 7 in the morning, we went to the landlord. The GF's housemate had pics she took and showed them to the landlord as well as the various places online the parties were publicized, and this corroborated the story of the poor maintenance man who had to clean up after them every time. The landlords hadn't believed him that someone had thrown such a huge party and that hundreds of people had been there. They thought he was exaggerating. When my girlfriend's roomie showed the pics to one of them of people not only on the roof of the house - which was a rather blatant violation of the lease - but also partiers crawling and hopping around on the roof of a storage shed located near the property, his rage at these fools was at the level of a mushroom cloud. Within a week, the landlords sent out a letter to everyone about how the ordeal was over and there would be no more parties.

And so that was the end of the parties, but not yet the end of the horrible neighbors. Having had their party lifestyle derailed, and been quite vocal about how they saw their neighbors as a bunch of unjust buzzkills, stayed on for awhile but eventually packed up and left. It was a situation where these guys were basically what happens to ex-college kids who are pushing 30 and still locked in an adolescent mindset and keep trying to party all wild and CRAZY-like just like when they were still 19.


That guy - 2015-04-09

That's a nice lil' youtube poop sketch you found there.

Multiple bowling balls for no reason is a winner.


BHWW - 2015-04-10

Certain upstairs neighbors always just appear unable to grasp the concept of just how loud they can be.

Like the dude who lived in an apartment not directly above mine but close enough and play the most wretched amateur gangsta rap music from late afternoon to the early hours of the morning, the sort of stuff you probably got on CD-Rs sold out of groups' car trunks and consisted of almost nothing but bass and gunshot FX. At least he would turn it down if someone asked.

Or the upstairs neighbors who would stomp around their apartment all night - at times it sounded like someone was going up and down with a pogo stick up there, other times it sounded like a whole herd of horses was stampeding around.


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