I care. They suck.

More like Fantastic SNORE.

she can suck my invisible dick if you know what I mean

It doesn't bother me that the torch is black; it bothers me that he's apparently not Sue Storm's brother. I feel like the last Fantastic Four didn't get the characters right, and their solution is just to push the characters aside.

Oh, wait, she's the daughter of the black scientist, so it's still a family thing. I dunno, first marriage? Adoption?

I dunno, this could be good, it just not the FF Ioved as a kid. It looks like the Doctor guy is taking over Reed Richard's role as father figure. I'll probably see it when it gets to the bargain theater in my neighborhood.

Why's the kid from Whiplash in EVERYTHING? He's not that great of an actor. Too bad Doug Jones isn't in this.. he's seriously cool in real life. Unless J Jonah Jameson shows up and throws a cymbal at Richards, because that'd be awesome.

Or, what Hooker said.

Well, I guess if you're going to reboot it, REBOOT IT.

I just saw a Nostalgia Critic video about the old vs. new Spiderman. Was that JK Simmons as JJ Jameson? Man, I love that dude!

They might as well, since Ultron was created by Richards' friend, Ant Man.. something like that, and both of those are coming out. I dunno, didn't really follow FF but this at least looks better than Ant Man.

Yeah.. it took me until the second movie to figure it out. It's like "oh Neo-Nazi guy from Oz!" If anyone deserved the Oscar this year for anything, it was Simmons. He's amazing.

I think they should just get MF Doom to play Dr. Doom. Because then I'd definitely watch this.

Someone yelled at me awhile back for referring to JK Simmons as "the Neo-Nazi dude from Oz". THAT'S WHAT HE IS. That's what people remember him for! He's got no name, stop trying to call him by his name; he's Neo-Nazi Dude From Oz.

Sue Storm is Johnny Storm's sister and Reed Richards' girlfriend. When they decided to make Johnny black, it's odd that they decided to keep Sue white while working in an "adoption" angle ... couldn't have Reed dating a black woman, could we?

A part of me wants to edit some of those original FF comics -- you know, the ones where Jack Kirby was drawing Sue Storm as an active take-charge gal, and Stan was giving her dialogue like "I think I could best help by baking you a pie" -- and re-do Sue as a black woman with stereotypical sassy black woman dialogue. I don't think the results could be much worse than the original.

It wasn't me, was it? I was very drunk and angry back in those days. I almost took a man's life for referring to Simmons as the State Farm Guy. He's Farmer's Insurance Guy! TWO DIFFERENT THInGS! I

I don't remember. Probably.

JK Simmons is everywhere. He's a psychiatrist in the Law and Order franchise. He was in Arrested Development (I think he was the General who convinced Lucille to "go downtown".) He was the dad in Juno. According to his IMDB page, he's done the voice of Jameson dozens of times in animated shows, video games, and even on the Simpson. It's almost a shame, because he LOOKS so great as Jameson.

My favorite Simmons role is from Party Down, a movie executive who tries to intimidate everybody with elaborate, graphic, obscene threats. "I'm going to kill your family, eat them, and then shit them down your throat." He's so fucking funny!

You can make Ben Johnny and Reed black, that's no problem, but Sue Storm's iconic blondness is non negotiable.

I'm almost sixty. What the fuck is whiplash?

I thought the 1st fantastic 4 film was good. I thought it was a really good example of a super hero comic film. Imo it was a well made kids film, it had a simple clear understandable and unconfused plot (which seems to be asking a lot nowadays) it was fun and lighthearted and had some good (also understandable) action and special effects in it.

Also, Whiplash is now a Marvel crossover film.

My feeling is that superhero movies don't usually work, but when they do, they're the greatest thing ever. Marvel's been hitting the sweet spot more often than not lately, and more often than not is WAY WAY WAY more often than the sweet spot has previously been hit. I'm almost sixty, and I feel like I've been waiting for movies like this my whole life.

(Not movies like THIS, but like Avengers and Winter Soldier)

I'd like to see a Fantastic Four Final Fantasy Street Fighter crossover, only because it would read "FFFFSF" on the marquee and every movie theatre employee would be covered in spit.

You do realize that most of these reboots and retellings of comic book character stories is just to keep the rights, don't you?

Fox doesn't give a shit about the FF beyond riding the coattails of actually good Marvel movies because some people still think they're all made by one company, and possibly extorting Marvel/Disney a huge sum to buy the rights back.

It's the same for the X-Men and Spider-Man. The studio just wants a movie to keep their claim to the rights alive, nothing more. If it's actually entertaining for someone, it's by accident.

Yes, I realize that, but if the movies didn't make money, they wouldn't fight to keep the rights.

It's partly to keep the rights, partly because they're lazy and it's easier just to use a story that's already written, and partly because that's just the way things work. How many times did the ancients retell the Trials of Hercules? Or the story of Theseus and the Minitaur? If you want a new story, you come up with a new superhero.

But the main thing, yeah, it makes money. That is, movie studios know from long experience that reboots will bring in crowds and easily recoup costs. Why mess with success?

"It makes money."

Technically, no major studio film ever looses money in the long run. People will eventually rent/stream ANYTHING. Of course, if you look at the balance sheet of even a Harry Potter movie, they "lose money," thanks to Hollywood accounting.

But this is more about rights than anything else, because who cares about the Fantastic Four? They haven't been relevant even to comic book fans for years before the two previous schlock-fests were released.

Also, you can see what the Thing's butt looks like if you pause it around 1:43, if that...

...wait for it...

...gets your rocks off.

(Loosens pants)

ITS CLOBBERIN' TIME!!!

Shhh we don't mention that first time.

I'm really sick of making everyone a teenager in everything. Highschool Spiderman sucked.

Ben Grimm is kind of the emotional heart of the Marvel Universe; even more than Spider-Man, Ben embodies the best features of the Marvel Universe.

Superman ought to play the corresponding role in the DC Universe, except DC has pretty much forgotten what makes Superman appealing. These days, it's Dick Grayson of all people who is the emotional heart of the DC Universe.

Hey steady now; this isn't the best trailer and there have been a lot of them this week, but POETV has ALWAYS been about talking snarky about trailers.

Poetv is pretty much the only way I know there are movies.

What ashtar said.

Yeah im sick of this shit. This isnt what we're here for.

I don't quite agree that this isn't what we're here for. On the other hand, this seems like the year that youtube trailer hype went way the fuck overboard. It's not just us. We're seeing fan videos discussing the trailers, parodies of trailers. The Superman v Batmann movie is a year from now. It's probably still in post-production. I wish they'd make the fucking movie and THEN sell it to us!

I like talking about this stuff, and it's something that most of us are interested in, but I miss POE-NEWS, where the format allowed us to actually talk about the movies when they come out, and not just the goddamn trailers.

Do I dare
Disturb universe 616?
In a reboot there is time
For decisions and retcons which a reboot will reverse.