Among other things I cook for a living, so I know the "safety zone" and all those things, but I stay vegan in part because I can basically undercook/not cook something at all and really not get sick. The idea of Homer Simpson fish sounds mighty tasty though. I had grasshopper sushi not too long ago with fried grasshopper on top and got kinda sick. But it was pretty good

Zest, assuming you are avoiding spinach. I suspect the overall risk of bacterial contamination in fruits n veggies is lower, but doubt it is negligible. Cases that come to mind include cantaloupes, carrots. Quick googling suggests that contamination is common.

The second sickest I've ever gotten from food was from TVP (vegan meat) that had gone bad in the freezer.

The sickest was from lettuce.

Oh yeah you can get sick as fuck from almost anything. Sickest I've ever gotten was from this tempeh that one of my housemates made. I mean, it's basically fermenting soy. But undercooked chicken WILL give you salmonella and certain animals, mostly fish, are poisonous enough to kill you. Then again, I had another housemate who would regularly eat meat pizza that was left out for days without getting sick. It's not the only reason why I don't eat meat.. it's weird everybody has their reasons. I was talking with my co-worker last night who comes in every night with Popeyes chicken from next door, and I had made way too much food so I said he could have some because I wasn't gonna eat it, and he doesn't eat mammals. Just on principle. But chicken's totally fine.

While I wouldn't recommend eating raw meat, the assumption that eating raw meat will definitely make you sick is a bit overzealous.

All meat manufacturing facilities are required to spot check their products for food borne pathogens multiple times a day, and if anything is found they must recall the entire lot. In addition to that and an incredibly strict food safety program called HACCP, most facilities will also have a USDA representative present to oversee operations on a daily basis. In short, it is actually incredibly unlikely that you would get sick from eating raw meat.

What people should be far more concerned about is botulism and listeria toxins that are released from bacteria that will grow on produce and dairy products even under refrigeration. Since it's a toxin produced by the bacteria that makes you sick, it's impossible to 'cook it out' of the product. These are closely monitored by regular environmental swabs, however, and the real probability of being poisoned is pretty low.

The most dangerous places to get food from are actually restaurants. They aren't regulated by the USDA at all, and with some restaurants sourcing food from who-knows-where without any requirement to track the supply chain, it is by far the riskiest in terms of food borne illnesses.