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Comment count is 34
Gmork - 2015-05-31

I'm pretty sure that's all normal.


Raggamuffin - 2015-05-31

hot


gravelstudios - 2015-05-31

Would somebody mind providing some context?


Hooker - 2015-05-31

When a human man and a female elf love each other very much and decide they want a baby, they go into a private room, detach their heads and have them fly around while their bodies join together in an incomprehensible mess of flesh.


yogarfield - 2015-05-31

beast with one back


oddeye - 2015-05-31

So-Not-Gay mutant elf from shitty, goofy game series pays a hooker some money so his floating head can look up his own poopchute. He also gets 4 exp.


gravelstudios - 2015-05-31

You guys are absolutely no help at all.


oddeye - 2015-05-31

Shit, goofy game based on dumb fantasy novels allows you awkwardly pork various approximations of people. In this scene Braveheart Riverdance walks up to a woman and pays her to attempt to have sexual intercourse with him. This results in Riverdance seeing himself eye to eye, so to speak.


Meerkat - 2015-05-31

GAME OF THE YEAR 10 OUT OF 10


Sanest Man Alive - 2015-05-31

FEATURING DANTE FROM THE "DEVIL MAY CRY" SERIES


Caminante Nocturno - 2015-05-31

0:51-0:54


Old_Zircon - 2015-05-31

They know how it SHOULD work.


Nominal - 2015-05-31

Ah fuck I submitted the same video.


Hooker - 2015-05-31

Killer Joe actually duped you.


Nominal - 2015-05-31

FUCK THAT GUY


That guy - 2015-05-31

...hey :c


Stopheles - 2015-05-31

Someone needs to dub "When 2 R in Love" over this magnificent footage. Removing his face from his scalp allows you to see all 100,000 individual hairs!


Old_Zircon - 2015-06-01

I did you one better and used a shitty cover version.

http://www.youtubemultiplier.com/556c76804bc53-when-witcher-3- r-n-love.php


infinite zest - 2015-05-31

Does anybody actually masturbate to these? I'm assuming anyone with an xbox one probably has a smartphone, and xnxx.com is like a click away. These all seem like really softcore David Duchovney porn; by the time your dick's out the cutscene's over. Plus they're always jerky; unlike the motion capture that makes most gameplay movement so realistic, I doubt if they did that with the sex scenes in this or any other game I've seen. If it increases the "realism" then also include scenes where the player has to perform other human functions, like brushing their teeth, pooping and remember to buy toilet paper..

One thing that I thought was interesting about Red Dead Redemption is that you can't have sex like you can in GTA, because you're trying to get back to your wife, who, just like in real life, you can't fuck either. It's perfectly OK to hogtie prostitutes and put them on the traintracks though.


Nominal - 2015-05-31

It's a step up from Bioware sex scenes at any rate.


SolRo - 2015-05-31

No blue tits, no climax


lotsmoreorcs - 2015-05-31

Great game I just had to hawk for dope money before my girlfriend could even fight the Griffin. :( oh well, will never hawk the ps4!


StanleyPain - 2015-05-31

Not as good as the sex in Ride To Hell


fluffy - 2015-05-31

How the hell do glitches like this even happen? That's kind of beyond the usual "matrix stack got corrupted" thing.


RabbitMountain - 2015-05-31

Without bothering to look up the game engine; I'm guessing that the character frame sequences aren’t playing. Usually frame 0 of a character is the Vitruvian Man pose (skinning/rigging pose) seen it this glitch.

Given that the problem started with the sex scene, I'm guessing that the engine couldn't find the frames for the special sequence so it defaulted to 0.


fluffy - 2015-05-31

Possibly, but the glitch continues well after the end of the scene, and is replaced by a whole new glitch.

Also it seems weird to me that the head would be attached to a different skeleton than the rest of the body.


oddeye - 2015-05-31

it's a shit game


infinite zest - 2015-06-01

Is it really? It's been getting nothing but great reviews, and it looks pretty cool, but I don't have a next gen system and don't plan on getting one so I won't play it.. also it's almost impossible to find a game or movie that everyone on this site universally says is great or sucks..

I never really got the "The banality of modern big budget video games" tag until about a week ago. I decided to get a couple of games, something I rarely do, because I don't have much time; between work and housemates using the xbox360 to watch Netflix, maybe an hour tops unless I just don't sleep. So I got Assassin's Creed Black Flag and Metal Gear Solid 5 Ground Zeroes. Black Flag's awesome, but at the rate I'm going I'll complete the game sometime in 2016. A lot of this is due to the fact that every mission requires you to do the same thing multiple times: "wow that was so awesome to blow up that schooner and raid it.. such graphics!" "Now do it again 5 times."

Metal Gear Solid 5 on the other hand was just straight up fun (I got it for 9.99 so I understand if people paid 50 bucks for it it is short) but it avoids all that stuff. The game can be 30 minutes long or hours and hours. The problem with so many of these games (like Black Flag and I'm assuming Witcher 3) is that they're all thinking they're the next Great American Novel, and while they often do have a pretty cool story to tell, I really don't want to sit around and play through it that much, vs. just watching a Lets Play and skipping to the end. And if all novels were like that, people wouldn't read. Books like Infinite Jest and Gravity's Rainbow are often bought but not read or finished because the length is there right in front of you, but the novel continues because of excellent shorter novels like The Road or Pynchon's own Crying of Lot 49, which is usually considered his best (and his shortest.) It just kind of sucks for gamers who want the next "greatest game of 2015" and they just got a "greatest game of 2015," and the next one's coming out in a week. That either means a lot of unfinished games or maybe gamers don't sleep, or don't have jobs.. I dunno.


oddeye - 2015-06-01

All the witcher games are shit. All that happens as the series progresses is the shit nuggests get polished with "better" graphics.


StanleyPain - 2015-06-01

I've watched some playthroughs of the game and it seems like a weird merging of Fable III with the dialog/story altering aspects of Mass Effect. Just watching it felt like it had very awkward controls and one of the things that was very obvious in what I saw is that the game is very bad about telegraphing the difficulty of things and you can literally just take jobs or quests where the enemies in it will one-hit kill you out of nowhere with no explanation. It also has that annoying new-gen thing of making the world more dynamic than it really needs to be so, for example, if you accidentally tap a wrong button and cast a spell in town your are then suddenly murdered by the guards or suffer consequences for being "evil" with no way to reverse it except loading an old save and shit like that.
Didn't seem as 10/10, A++++, GOLD AWARD brilliant as the reviews are making it out to be.


infinite zest - 2015-06-01

Yeah.. Black Flag's like that too. Early on I was just curious because you can't attack NPCs with a sword, so when I got a gun I shot a cat. It was mostly because I thought it would say that you couldn't, but there you go, dead cat on Edward's conscience. And the game won't let you go back, at least as far as I know. It just saves every 10 fucking seconds.


Nominal - 2015-05-31

Prior to the internet, this is what most 10 year olds thought sex was.


infinite zest - 2015-06-01

So.. a blowjob isn't when you get a girl to blow on your butt?


Scattersane - 2015-06-01

This is the modern version of the flickering animation that told you that Larry had caught an STI in Land of the Lounge Lizards.


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