aiee talking lion freaking me out

The MGM lion was filmed many decades ago. He is no doubt dead. So he knows what he's saying here.

I open my wallet, and it's fulla blood

cutting my wrists now

Yeah not impressed. I think I wrote this same rant when I was 17

the voice really suits Mr. Lion, though.

BORING

More condescending and preachy than the worst of televangelists.

I already think things like this, so whatever. But talking lion is creepy.

You're going to die, because this monologue will bore you to death.

Oh so existential. Now quit licking your stupid lips.

A raspy voice and stock footage doesn't make you Tom Waits.

I was hoping the little hollering spiderman below the lion would say something.

Dude, this trip sucks.