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Comment count is 18
EvilHomer - 2015-08-07

Lots of Rape Culture in the comments, I see.


memedumpster - 2015-08-07

I thought everybody already knew that Starbucks did that. You can ask for it without the milk.


il fiore bel - 2015-08-07

No, no, no. He's got it all wrong. If anyone puts semen in their products, it's Michaelangelo's Pizza.


StanleyPain - 2015-08-07

Maybe if they did it would make the lattes better.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT STARBUCKS.

I SAID IT.


I TOOK YA DOWN A NOTCH.


Old_Zircon - 2015-08-07

I can't speak for semen, but I can definitely vouch for some questionable business at Starbucks.

The particular one I'm thinking of had communal speed provided standard by the shift manager, and all of the male employees worked with their dicks out under their aprons just because they could get away with it.


Old_Zircon - 2015-08-07

Also those sweet coffee slush drinks that were popular a while back (like the Starbucks version of a Dunkin Donuts Coolatta)? Full of blended up fruit flies.


Old_Zircon - 2015-08-07

Frappucino.


Full of bugs.


infinite zest - 2015-08-08

Wow! What I don't like is how Starbucks employees are usually pretty cool, have to deal with the most assholes, but at least in Portland, having Starbucks on your resume means that you won't get a job at a locally owned coffee shop. Because you sold out. Because you need to eat and live and stuff. Fuck them.

The only coffee place I ever liked was this coffee shop that was also a motorcycle repair place across from my old house. First time I went in there I was in a big hurry like I was at Starbucks and they were out of coffee. So I just tipped a buck for nothing and rode off on my bike and drank the shit work coffee. I never had to pay for coffee there again after that.


John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-08-08

At these prices, there'd BETTER be some semen in there!


Old_Zircon - 2015-08-08

I worked at a Starbucks for a few months while I was looking for work, but I was lucky enough to get into the busiest one in the state (back then, it was beaten by another one I've heard). They were doing k-k daily and didn't have time to follow real Starbucks protocol, they had to run like a proper coffee shop. Also that was back when they actually had people making the espresso drinks, instead of a machine doing it, so it was almost possible to pretend that it wasn't Starbucks.

The training center was a block away and they would send classes in to use us as an example of how NOT to behave, but we made too much for them to stop us.


The one with the speed an dicks was a different one, though, it was way back in one end of a Mall where nobody ever went, so they could do whatever they wanted. A few years later I met with the producer of an indie film I was supposed to do the score for (I ended up spending the whole time trying to salvage it from the nearly irreparable damage that the editor had done and didn't even get to do anything but a couple shitty scratch tracks) and all I could think of was that until recently a crew of private school crusties had been performing all sorts of lewd acts in the back room.


Nominal - 2015-08-08

Subscribing to the sexist shitlord gross person belief that having a penis makes you male.


Old_Zircon - 2015-08-08

The only tranny in this group A) never transitioned and B) never worked at Starbucks.


Nominal - 2015-08-08

Typical mansplaining.


Old_Zircon - 2018-02-18

I'm here from the future to clarify that I used the word "tranny" there because that's the word he used himself.

Also "he" was the pronoun he used.

Well, to be precise he used the term "tryke" which at the time (early 2000s) was an entirely acceptable portmanteau of "tranny" and "dyke" that was used by trans women who were attracted to women, at least in the circles I travelled in. He wasn't the only one.


I have a feeling that wouldn't fly these days.


15th - 2015-08-07

Fappuccino.

Eh


John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-08-08

Oh hell yes. Respectfully yours.


infinite zest - 2015-08-07

You think Starbucks is bad, you don't want to know what's going on at the store around the corner.


Adham Nu'man - 2015-08-07

SEMEN: THE OTHER KIND OF MILK


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