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Desc:Meanwhile in Beaverton
Tags:Superhero, Oregon, shield, crimestopper, legit
Submitted:infinite zest
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Comment count is 15
dairyqueenlatifah - 2015-11-04

Would. Would hard.
That guy - 2015-11-04
You can be his Commissioner Boredon, or maybe his J Jonah Lameson.

ashtar. - 2015-11-04
I was going to make some sidekick name dick jokes, but they all already have cock names: Jimmy Olsen, Dick Grayson, Richard Jones, Wong.

poorwill - 2015-11-05
Richard Ryder. Peter Porker. There are a lot of these.

Hooker - 2015-11-04
I don't think he wants to be taken seriously.
The Mothership - 2015-11-04
Anybody that dorky could definitely keep the peace.

I'm serious, his social ineptitude would disarm even the most hardened criminals.
Bort - 2015-11-05
Five, because I like Deadpool cosplay as much as the next guy.
Oscar Wildcat - 2015-11-05
This guy is like the entire state of Oregon in microform.
infinite zest - 2015-11-05
To be fair, Seattle, like most things, had this before Portland did. And a lot of them too!

I honestly hope this guy's OK. Beaverton used to be the nice suburby part of the Portland Metro area because nobody wanted to live in the city where it was dangerous, and now that everybody lives in the city where it's relatively safe, crime over there has gone up exponentially.

Oscar Wildcat - 2015-11-05
I hope so too. I get the strong vibe that he'll stumble upon a Mexican couple arguing, insert himself into the situation, and end up stabbed.

He needs to look back East to see what Curtis Sliwa did with his Guardian Angels. That really worked, and as far as I know they never had the legal woes that everyone is in such a panic about. Multiple people, no weapons for starters. When women are screaming at you it's a sign, dude. It's a sign.

Two Jar Slave - 2015-11-05
Glad we cleared up the nationality of that arguing couple.

memedumpster - 2015-11-05
Infinite Zest?

More trustworthy than a cop, more serious about their job than a politician. You can't blame him for stepping right over a bar that low.
infinite zest - 2015-11-05
Did you have a question for me? Oh I see, you think that masked crusader's me right *blush*.. no I'm just your every day bouncer, bouncing for the good of humanity, bouncity bouncity bounce..

memedumpster - 2015-11-05
I should have known, this guy's not even an Ewok.

Scynne - 2015-11-05
Sure was breathing heavily on that leisurely patrol walk. Hope he doesn't have to chase anybody.
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