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Comment count is 15
infinite zest - 2015-12-15

I can see land pretty much the whole time. Maybe that's the phone making it brighter but that's still not "lost at sea." If he's just trying to get back to Rick Ross' house that's one thing, but otherwise just pull up anywhere and call a towtruck or something for the jet ski.


Cena_mark - 2015-12-15

It wouldn't be the phone. You can see a city scape at night from sea until it falls below the horizon. I don't get what he means by lack of nav lights. I'm sure he just doesn't know the rules of the road.


Adham Nu'man - 2015-12-16

The phone makes things look darker than they are.


Oktay - 2015-12-15

He kept it so real I can hardly believe it.


chumbucket - 2015-12-16

real stars


Oktay - 2015-12-17

I plagiarized Futurama, I don't deserve them.


Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2015-12-15

A scared rapper?


Cena_mark - 2015-12-16

He's not Bone Crusher.


1394 - 2015-12-16

Never Scared Spirit Stars


chumbucket - 2015-12-16

Your typical recreation boat owner.
Compass? Nah what's that? Do I have one?
Charts? Pointless, I have my eyes, I'm good.
Basic astronomy? Uhh..duh, I'm on the sea not is space dumbass!
Refueled? Why? I'm only going out for like an hour.


infinite zest - 2015-12-16

True story, I knew some kids from a different school who went up to the mountain with their science teacher on a hike, and ostensibly knew all of those things. They got lost and froze to death. This was way before cellphones but they were all incredibly under-packed for the hike in the first place, with just a few bottles of soda pop and nothing in the way of emergency equipment or provisions.

What I don't understand is why you'd waste your cellphone's battery life by consantly snapchatting instead of, you know, calling 911 or something. Even if one of your snapchat followers was in the coastguard or sea-police and saw the video, I don't think that counts as any sort of emergency call.


Cena_mark - 2015-12-16

I'm not on Snapchat.


infinite zest - 2015-12-16

Me neither. And I don't get it either. For years I had an iPod that could connect to the internet, and an old flip phone with no internet. So in a really desperate situation I might turn to facebook and tell others to call for help if I were able to pick up a wifi signal, but Snapchat immediately deletes the videos once they're viewed (unless you think ahead and back them up like this.) Even twitter or Instagram would make more sense than Snapchat.


Old_Zircon - 2015-12-16

The all time winner has to be the guy that a friend of mine told me about in 2009 or so. One of his coworkers had gone on vacation to Yellowstone and was planning to hike some major trail or other in the park, but when he got there the trail was closed because the day before a hiker from the city had gone up there hoping to see a bear. In fact, he was so determined to see a bear that he had put a pound of raw bacon in his coat pockets to attract them. It worked, he was attacked by a bear.


EvilHomer - 2015-12-17

I haven't had "phone" service in years. I've got a Google voice account and Skype, which works just fine for placing phone calls, and means that I only have to pay for internet, and not internet + absurdly overpriced phone service. However, the catch is, you're not allowed to call 911 from "phone-alternatives" like Skype. You either have to find the direct number to your local emergency services, make do yourself, or plead for help via social media.

I doubt very much that Mr DJ Khaled is too cheap to buy a smartphone with an internet-only plan, but I guess it's one possible explanation for why he'd use Snapchat instead of calling the Coast Guard.


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