Straight out of the Hitler public speaking playbook!

I know the feeling. There's so many wonderful comedic beats here where you think "this is the apex of the joke; it cannot get any funnier than this," and then Jeb(!) joyously prances past Trump and Carson, elated that for once he's not fucking up in front of the entire universe

10 bucks says it involves Steve Harvey reading the names in the wrong order, and something something Kanye West.

Which white guy will play Ben Carson?

Kenan, of course.

Twitter! Miley Cyrus! What would Kim K say if she read YOUR livetweets?

crush*

I'm a little loopy.

Works either way, honestly.

:)

....that was actually me. LAVATORR is another one of my handles.

Incidentally, when I was a teenager, I used to post on this MMA board as a gimmick/troll account named LAVATORR. Whenever others were having a productive conversation about technique or whatever, LAVATORR, lava monster, indestructable god-king of the Magmen and ideologically conservative DJ. LAVATORR would roar into a conversation in ALL CAPS and go on surreal tangents about lava and discrimination against lava monsters and having Shaq accidentally cut his pumice hairs. LAVATORR would later go on to run against Romney in 2012, and even placed fourth in New Hampshire, but voters found his stance on the issues too fluid.

Anyway, a couple months after I stopped, I was drilling takedowns on this white belt at my Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu class, and out of nowhere he asks "Do you post on Bullshido?" I didn't know what to say, except for the truth. "Yes Greg," I admitted. "I am LAVATORR."

Double incidentally: LAVATORR has an official IRS badge and title: "Alpha Magmale". A friend and I were setting up for the IRS' annual conference at Caesar's Palace, and he got in good with the girl operating the badge machine, who singlehandedly ended centuries of government-sanctioned racism against LFEHE-Americans.