This was definitely the most terrible movie I remember seeing. I feel bad for the fx guy that did the man dragons. They were good.

I can't believe the Wachkowski's made this after Cloud Atlas. It'd be like Kubrick going from Barry Lyndon to making Biodome.

I kept waiting for him to start talking about the D.E.N.N.I.S. system.

So did you guys end up watching this Monday night?

Their slow descent into madness in their personal lives is parallel with their plummet into inexplicably awful film directing. It's amazing actually.

Text taken from an illustration Cog put up on facebook about this movie:

"This is a movie by emotionally stunted, pseudo-intellectual, tin-eared Martians, featuring a cast of millennial sub-Shakespearean talking in groans, mumbles, squeaks, and moans. The plot is a mutant fruit salad of anti-capitalist sentiment, half mashed with giddy autocratic dictatorship obsession; weird, populist, anti-bureaucratic, anti-government, pro-eugenic, David Icke/Alex Jones new age nonsense, swaddled in outstandingly absurd warhammer 40k ultra-violence and campy costumes that would shame Bob Mackie.

The themes include: incest, rape, the selling of one's sister's eggs to purchase a PlayStation, genocide on a planetary scale, slavery, class warfare, spaceships with statues on them, patently illogical architecture on a gas giant planet, astrology, suicidally bored immortal alien plutocrats, and the importance of bees. This movie is insulting to the audience, the actors, the studio and the computers required to generate every scene. Yet despite being festering trash by and for garbage people, I whole-heartedly recommend ‘Jupiter Ascending’”

Ha. If only the whole movie was like this.

Most of the movie happens on earth. In boring cars or boring restraunts or boring houses.

If the whole movie was like this it would be fun. This movie was boring.

when did people start thinking eddie redmayne was a good actor?

I really admire and appreciate how you guys stuck with me on this one. Most of you had already seen it and yet you braved it yet again to discover new horrors.

Shoutout to poopy ,who saw it for the first time on MNR, and probably fainted before it was over.

Also: Bark Bark, motherfuckers!

This movie was up there with Hunger Games for dishonest mixed values. The events the villains have put into motion are terrible! But the perks they give me are totally awesome! End on me getting to eat the cake and keep it!

He had such a raging hateboner for his mom and it came out of nowhere.

I hated The Matrix, and I've been nothing but vindicated in that judgment ever since, but that's probably going to be the only thing they're ever truly remembered for.

This movie had, among other problems, Mila Kunis. Just, you know, Mila Kunis, one of the least convincing leading ladies around.

Why are you guys watching stuff like this when there are more movies about vans out there?

it's like redmayne watched a bunch of frank-n-furter and francis dolarhyde clips back-to-back

now i'm kinda looking forward to the next potter movie just to see if he begins to chew scenery (or chew the green screen i guess)

This movie somehow manages to be anti-capitalist AND pro-oligarchy.

This movie makes you really appreciate the linear character based solid storytelling of Battlefield Earth, and its attention to cinematography and special effects.

I like to think Jupiter Ascending is the book Tom Hanks wrote in Cloud Atlas leading him to throw the critic off the balcony.