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Desc:Oh my god, Zapp Brannigan might be president.
Category:News & Politics, Stunts
Tags:donald trump, futurama, billy west, quotes, Zapp Brannigan
Submitted:Rodents of Unusual Size
Date:09/27/16
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Comment count is 21
Rodents of Unusual Size
Some quotes from here repeat on the next link, but there are some gems not found here. I submitted the best bouquet of quotes I found, though.

https://youtu.be/gs38jr7ool8
chumbucket
Stars for not editing out Kif's reactions.
Oscar Wildcat
I was wondering why this ripe exchange wasn't the headline this morning.

LH: " But we’re talking about racial healing in this segment. What do you say to Americans, people of colour."

DT: :"I say NOTHING to the American people!"

Talk about your "let them eat cake" moments...

But I've come to understand that the reason these comments don't stand out is because he makes so many of them.

Bonus shot on that round where he suggests that he has great relations with black and latino communities because he (and I'm not exaggerating here) built a golf course in Florida that allows blacks and latinos to join. Presumably the rest of his courses don't? Utter madness.
memedumpster
Whatever, I saw robots learn about sex from a porno magazine and then try it out while another robot watched.

You chose poorly.

Two Jar Slave
I saw both. It was an orangish evening, full of lies.

Oscar Wildcat
Yeah, it sounds like we watched the same damn thing, Meme.

For what it is worth: Hillary Clinton won the debate decisively. Even on his strongest point, NAFTA and TPP, Don kind of ham fisted his way through it. His body language was completely out of control. Think you drunk uncle on Thanksgiving with a turkey leg in his hand shouting at the air and spraying spittle into the cranberry sauce. He spoke very quickly, but did not say a lot, repeating himself and free associating. The regular post-nasal drip snort spoke strongly to the notion that Don road a few rails of coke in the green room for fortification.

Things really shifted into gear when Hillary brought up the subject of his taxes. Don grew very irate and defensive. He stayed in that defensive crouch for the rest of the evening, just digging the hole deeper and deeper and making more bizarre and inexplicable statements. At the end, the Clintons were all out on the edge of the stage, shaking hands and smiling. The Trump family gathered into a line at the back of the stage, then disappeared. Reporters were left floundering trying to find a spokeperson from the R. party for comment.

EvilHomer
How did Jill Stein do? Did Johnson or Istvan make any good points?

And by "good points", I mean in terms of rhetorical skill or overall campaign strategy, of course. Presidential Selection Debates aren't about policies - we already know what policies we support, we support the ones of the team we picked back in college - these debates are about providing white-knuckle entertainment, with the most entertaining nominee possibly swaying those of us who believe they should vote, but are too poorly-indoctrinated to know how.

I just hope Stein didn't go all crazy with those wild conspiracy theories of hers. As if there's anything wrong with Monsanto executives running the regulatory agency meant to guard the public against Monsanto!

EvilHomer
Also, I'm sorry I keep missing movie night. My ISP is blocking streaming video, apparently. I can only get the movies on my phone, and I don't have enough monthly mobile bandwidth to watch more than an hour or so.

What sex robots did you see, Meme?

memedumpster
I watched it this morning. POETIP : Watch the two hour PBS version, most f the "FULL DEBATE" videos are the slightly over an hour and a half hacked up for FOX version that cuts out chunks of what they said.

I say it was one rail, because he crashed very visibly at 38 minutes in.

Don was weakest when he had to use Republican talking points, and strongest when he stuck to Donald Trump talking points. I did find it interesting though that he insisted his acts as a businessman and as a politician should not be judged together, pointing out his scumbag business deals and exploitation of laws is normal, while attacking Hillary based on her politics. Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah, George Soros. Donald Trump is the Golden Politician by how Soros defined it.

And I still love you, baleen.

Hillary said all the correct left of center things, even called us out for being a systemically bigot ass nation. Made Trumps GOP law and order talking point fall flat, and even Donald knew that. Was surprised both of them called for gun control of some form or another, and an end to the proliferation of nuclear weapons. Donald wants NATO countries to do more for themselves, Hillary wants to talk about how evil Russia is.

Here is a hilarious BBC fact check article done by a person who passed out from drinking before the debate ended after running out of fucks to give, and rightfully.

http://www.bbc.com/news/election-us-2016-37480990

Here is the Military Times article that no doubt has put a spring in Gary Johnson's step today.

http://www.militarytimes.com/articles/this-poll-of-the-us-mili tary-has-gary-johnson-tied-with-donald-trump-in-the-race-for-presi dent

memedumpster
Homie, Jill Stein did well, she was escorted out by police this time without media coverage.

Oscar Wildcat
Well yeah, you're right, the debate is not about policy. It's about whether the candidates can handle confrontation on stage and keep a cool head. It's not a great test, but this time, it was pretty effective in differentiating the two.

I heard on Amy Goodman's show the other day that Jill Stein has a warrant out for her arrest in S. Dakota for writing "I approve of this message" in spray paint on a bulldozer that had been used to build this pipeline project. More power to her, I say. But really she'd be of more use outside the Oval Office than in, don't you think?

EvilHomer
Actually, Mr Wildcat, I think ANYONE is more use outside the Oval Office. Sadly, we are saddled with a system where *someone* has to be in front of the cameras, wasting their precious time and distracting Americans while the Fed, CFR, and military-industrial complex get shit done - and that someone might as well be a person who won't start a war with any country that even so much as glances at our oil pipelines.

One thing I did notice, though, was even the Trumpenproletariat haven't had the heart to call Round 1 a win for Donald. That's gotta be bad for him; but I still have confidence that his vocal range and talent for dancing will carry Sweet Donnie to the Top Idol spot this year.

EvilHomer
Incidentally, I'm still taking spots on my boat. If you need to flee the Autonomous Drone Death Squads and you don't mind sailing to Puerto Rico, hit me up.

memedumpster
What makes you think that Puerto Rico wont be an immediate drone target?

Drones fire missiles at any moving target that absorbs more light than a light beige paper sack.

EvilHomer
It's too far from anything important. The US government doesn't give a shit about Puerto Rico; Hillary won't care because there's no oil, and Trump won't care because it's not Mexico.

It's also just a jumping-off point. My gal pal's got a farm down there; we'll probably spend a week provisioning, before setting sail for the Philippines, Estonia, Hong Kong, Britain, or - if Trump wins - Russia, which likely be the safest place on earth.

EvilHomer
I'm also thinking of staking a claim on one of the Garbage Islands, if we can find a nice one.

Bort
"Donald Trump is the Golden Politician by how Soros defined it."

Au contraire! Soros believes in businesses making as much money as they can by legal means, but voters and politicians working to make the system more fair and moral via politics. Soros cites himself as an example: as a businessman he made himself very wealthy via capitalism, and as a voter / philanthropist / whatever he tries to make it harder for people to get as wealthy as he did. Donald's the opposite: cheat the system to get wealthy, then try to change the system to make yourself even wealthier.

SolRo
yeah, but soros is a hypocritical self-centered semi-sociopath.

memedumpster
Soros and the Donald are the same.

You can use different words, but "fuck you I got mine" is their common philosophy.

" Soros believes in businesses making as much money as they can by legal means"

Yeah, by the lax legal standards of foreign nations that the Donald also said he utilized to make money. Soros ships jobs to deregulated places and then calls for deregulation here, so it is legal. In this instance, Donald is actually more concerned about domestic capitalism than Soros.

"as a businessman he made himself very wealthy via capitalism, and as a voter / philanthropist / whatever he tries to make it harder for people to get as wealthy as he did."

Same as every Republican politician.

" Donald's the opposite: cheat the system to get wealthy, then try to change the system to make yourself even wealthier."

That is not the opposite, that is the exact same outcome as you describes Soros, but with angry rhetoric words instead of blowjobby love words.

I am not that dumb, Bort.

Bort
Using wealth to try to spread democracy, foster the arts, fund universities and research, and yes even feed the hungry does not sound like an evil, immoral, amoral, or sociopathic aspiration to me.

I am not dumb enough to misinterpret "business is amoral and if we try to make it otherwise we will fail" as "business is always right and amorality is awesome". Nor am I dumb enough to ignore Soros' pattern of good works just because he doesn't fit my exact personal criteria of how he should spend his money.

I guess I get EXTREMELY itchy when people bitch about philanthropists who seem to sincerely want to do some good.

SolRo
I think you mean impose democracy.

Except in Israel, which he criticizes, but doesn't fund any regime change operations there.


He's just self-absorbed and likes bend millions of people to his mindset.

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