I am going to need some pleasant distractions, POE.

Isn't he Canadian?

Five stars for MJ Davis Aurini, the flower of AltRight manhood, taking credit for something that isn't an obvious embarassment!

I didn't watch the video, but I did stare at the thumbnail for about 15 minutes. I didn't masturbate, but I probably could have.

It will be a glorious four , nay, EIGHT years, comrade

I'm starting to feel like myself again.

Trump is the bloated caricature of wealth and privilege that George W. Bush pretended to be, but couldn't quite pull off because he thought he had a thoughtful, sensitive side.

Is he a puppet? Damn right he's a puppet. But not just any puppet. He's Jarry's Pere Ubu, in the flesh. He's the greatest target of satire of all time. He's the incarnated id of american awfulness.

I feel a touch of empathy for Trump. He's at his most human now, thinking himself magnanimous in victory. And the rest of us are all going to try to pretend that he isn't batshit crazy. The pretense won't last long.

You know why America really IS the greatest nation on earth? Because we're going to survive Donald Trump.

Or maybe I'm wrong. Here's the thing about life: worst case scenario is you die. Best case scenario? You die. So let's get this party going!

He talks like he's got a dick in his mouth and two dicks in his ass.