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Desc:the days of hiding your gameboy under your bedsheets are over, kids. Bored? Sneak into dad's gunroom
Category:Crime
Tags:parents, app, Nintendo Switch, Now Youre playing with NOTHING
Submitted:infinite zest
Date:01/14/17
Views:2031
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Comment count is 28
Born in the RSR - 2017-01-14

This was adorable.

Also:

How had no one thought of this system before?
Or was there already one for the big consoles but it just wasn't advertised?


cognitivedissonance - 2017-01-14

Most cell phone providers have similar apps, but the impetus is on the end user. Verizon's parental controls are so legendarily obtuse and difficult to use that approximately 70% of my time spent on the phone when I was a Verizon tech support rep was walking grandma through the process, for an added $5 a month, because the only way for me to knock any of the exorbitant data overage fee off her bill when Junior downloaded Tron 3 times was to make sure she was paying for the privilege.


infinite zest - 2017-01-14

I guess I might feel differently if I had kids of my own and not just recalling my 1990s upbringing, but the problem I have with this is that it eliminates a fundamental part of a parent-child relationship and that's "trust." Yeah, we could get sneaky and hide our Gameboys and stuff, but we risked getting in trouble if we were caught doing ANYTHING we weren't supposed to, and as such at an early age we learned that we shouldn't be doing things we weren't supposed to be doing because it would lead to future mistrust as a kid, and the possibility of much, much more serious consequences as we age.

Point is kids WILL break the rules, but if it's set so the rules can't be broken, well, just wait until you're 18 and out of the house and have absolute freedom. Kids with their devices being monitored will most likely be at a higher risk of at least flunking out of college and teens with their cars being monitored (I assume that car app is where Nintendo got this idea from) are probably more likely to get fucked up and drive off a cliff. And I've known plenty of people who've had to wear GPS anklets or the kinds that detect drugs and alcohol, and usually they get fucked up as shit the day it comes off.

It's just one more symptom of this sort of Bubble lifestyle kids are being born into: as a kid I was told not to climb, eat or consume that because I might fall and split my head open. And I did and got 16 stitches, food poisoning and a drug possession charge when I was young enough for it not to affect my future. Besides my Spleen anyway, that's robotic now. Anyway I'm not saying "let kids play GTA" (even though I've heard that statistically the nation's crime rate drops significantly in relation to a new GTA release) but let them figure out SOME stuff for themselves. You'll thank me when they're in their mid-30s.


kingarthur - 2017-01-14

You're doing a bit, right?

Did you miss the part where you can shut it off but only as a last resort. Nintendo's heavily telling you to communicate with your kids while using this.


gravelstudios - 2017-01-14

When I was a kid, my mom just walked into the room and turned the NES off if she thought we'd had enough. Now that's what I call parental control.


infinite zest - 2017-01-15

Arthur nope, I just don't like this because it instills at an early age the "smile you''re on camera" way of looking at life, and that includes all things in life that you ought and ought not to do, that's all. The CCs shouldn't be the deterrent to shoplifting, just the morality and sense of doing the right thing on your own.


Monkey Napoleon - 2017-01-15

The problem with the honor system is that some people just don't give a fuck. Maybe their parents fucked up at some earlier point. Maybe they broke the rules enough times to figure out that the consequences weren't inconvenient enough to bother them much. Whatever it is, once the trust has been broken, you can't rely on it any longer.

It's more than a little naive to assume a parents relationship to their child will be just fine and perfectly healthy so long as the parent makes their expectations explicit. Children are not rational beings with a firm grip on their realities. If they were, they wouldn't need parents.

You have to give Nintendo more than a little credit here for coming right out and saying "this is a tool we're giving you, but don't think it can replace parenting."


cognitivedissonance - 2017-01-14

I like that he has a picture of Peach as his wallpaper.


Bobonne - 2017-01-14

It ain't easy carrying a flame for your ex while raising your mutual kid as a single parent.


infinite zest - 2017-01-14

Bowser and Peach were an item at one point? I thought he just liked capturing things. I mean 7 Mushroom Men were abducted just to fuck with Mario's sense of achievement? Why not just a sign that says that she's in another castle? I guess with that level of OCD psychopathy in a relationship I understand why Peach would want to distance herself, but they should've at least tried to stage an intervention first


gravelstudios - 2017-01-15

There is a fan theory that Peach and Bowser are the real couple and Mario is a psychotic ex boyfriend who won't let her get on with her life. I know, there are people who actually spend time thinking about these things.


Xenocide - 2017-01-14

Didn't you used to have seven other children, Bowser? Or did you disown them for playing too much Mario Kart?


cognitivedissonance - 2017-01-14

They were retconned. They still exist in continuity as underlings of Bowser but not his children, Bowser Jr. is his son and heir. The Koopalings are simply less powerful versions of the same species as Bowser. I suspect Koopas are like Orks and they grow in size appropriate to their rank in Koopa society.


BHWW - 2017-01-14

And this guy's the villain while we're supposed to cheer some weird plumber who probably smells weird and keeps jumping on things.


I'm assuming he smells weird because, you know...I mean I'm not racist but hey some of those Italians, whew!


Rafiki - 2017-01-14

SURVEILLANCE SOCIETY!!! NINTENDO IS ACCLIMATING OUR CHILDREN TO A SURVEILLANCE SOCIETY@!!#!!!$!


yogarfield - 2017-01-14

Cute as hell. Happy 2017 zesty.


infinite zest - 2017-01-15

Happy '17 to you too Mr. Garfield! Ugh I just got back from Hawaii after visiting some old friends, it's midnight there now and according to my weather app, it's still 74 degrees. I got back to a Portland covered with snow and a balmy 2 degrees.. but I'm glad to be back and have a feeling '17's going to be the best year in the age of "fuck 20XX." :)


gravelstudios - 2017-01-15

I only just now realized that your username has nothing to do with yoga.


yogarfield - 2017-01-21

Good to hear zesty.

@gravler Amazing. I just now saw it as yoga r-field for the first time.


Maggot Brain - 2017-01-14

Somehow I doubt that Bowser is hover parent.


Sanest Man Alive - 2017-01-15

But his car is a helicopter.


Binro the Heretic - 2017-01-14

A lot of kids enter adulthood without a sense of disciplined restraint or knowing how to set limits on themselves. That's why you have a lot of young people go totally batshit their first year at college.

I don't think things like this will help.


Gmork - 2017-01-15

More Apple than Apple.


infinite zest - 2017-01-15

A Hokudo?

Google it :)


poorwill - 2017-01-15

There's a level in the new Super Mario for Switch that is based on Silent Running, I shit you not: http://hiddenlizard.tumblr.com/post/155888386882/theres-just-no-wa y-the-watering-can-robotsforest


dairyqueenlatifah - 2017-01-15

Adorable. :)

Still not buying a Switch though.


Accidie - 2017-01-15

Oh goody, I'm glad they're finally getting around to automating raising kids.


garcet71283 - 2017-01-15

Or, you know, you could interact with your child and show interest in their interests creating lifelong bonds that will stretch into adulthood and benefit successor generations.

Nah, too much work....


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