I felt fat just listening to this. Five exploding hearts for you.

I haven't been to a Dion's in a while (good pizza, though) but how the fuck do you run out of Ranch? I mean...if you run out of the official packets, you send someone to a Sysco or something, pick up sauce cups and a shit ton of Ranch and you're good to go. A little more labor, but it's better than this shit.

Even when I was a fat fuck high school loser scarfing down doughy Dion's slices after school, I thought dipping in ranch was gross.

Plus stars for homeboy's throwback Dukes cap, more stars for Whistles McToothless -- Burque pride!