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kingofnothing I hope you can take a break for marathon NPR sessions to know what it's like to run a small-town grocery store where fatties on scooters add thousands of dollars in expense each year for door repairs.

I love you guys. Don't ever change.

I'm hearing the Ken Burns Civil War documentary music in my head right now.

"Dearest Margaret,

I pray this missive finds you well.

Today, we had another incident of one of our patrons versus the front entrance of our store, vis a vis size incompatibility considerations, which is to say that some fat hamblob bitch on a motorized scooter just utterly disintegrated the door.

Why, I'm not sure how much longer the Great Atlantic and Pacific Tea Company can continue to operate in these asperous times, with lard monster after lard monster continually beating at the structure as if they were all empowered Samsons trying to destroy our great food temple.

I may come home a little later than I would have liked, due to the time constraints that official procedures call for in these most dire of times, but a couple hours of paperwork cannot keep me from being at your side.

P.S. - if you would be so kind, could you order me some Chinese; you know what I like.

Ta Ta For Now,
Steve"

You would have lost her at "get off the scooter." Best you could hope for is a Mario Kart power slide out the door.

She was a size three when she went in three months ago, but after putting her groceries on the conveyor, she found she was trapped behind a elderly woman that wanted to write a check but didn't know how. She tried to turn around and choose another lane, but there was already an irritable family of five trapped behind her. Initially they survived on candy bars and gum, but eventually those ran out and they had to eat several of the children.

Perhaps now, she can recover the life she lost so long ago, but she will be forever scarred by her experience.