Final scorecard:

Anti-KKK protesters won the obvious categories of 'numbers', 'volume', and 'smartelligence'.

But white supremacists racked up points in some important categories, including 'average beard length', 'greasiest skin', and 'creative spelling'.

And let's not forget the safety officers, who had a powerful showing in the categories of 'worst optics', 'most orderly', and their perennial winner, 'most likely to really kill someone'.

I'm not sure I'm ready to call it a tie, but we can congratulate all participants for sharing a lively afternoon together.

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1:23 she doth protest