Make penne out of it.

http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/taiwanese-millionaire-successfully -gets-transplanted-12-inch-long-black-mans-penis/

That is a funny story. I'd like to send that to people who don't know what satire is (at least half of Facebook, apparently).

I just can't imagine what this dude's life has been like. I can't imagine having a dick so big that you have to let it hang over the edge of the toilet while you take a shit, just so you don't end up shitting on your own dick.

Dude must have needed a footstool for his fucking rod, man.

Dude could have leaned on himself if his legs got tired.

Dude could have won bets with the old "your name tattooed on my dick" trick, only with actual people's names tattooed on his dick instead of the words "your name"; just lots of names everywhere like when those souvenir shops have all the tiny bike license plates, except it's his dick, and if you don't see it right away keep looking, it'd be there somewhere. "Oh yeah, I see Steve. Nice. Here's your 50 bucks, man, I thought you were full of it."

Wouldn't that make it a yard?